Kreezus Kanye West / Local Business Comedy

Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
Wrapped 2 written by Nick Gligor. 
Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
Vocals by Carl Tart, Nick Gligor, James Ross, Markeia McCarty.

[Hook]
Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts
Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts 
(Ho­ho, Santa)

[Kanye]
All them other Kringles lame, and ya know I’m packed 
When ya sit on Santa’s lap, kids supposed to yap 
WRAPPED...

[Hook]
Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts (Ho-ho, Santa)

[Verse 1: Kreezus]
What you doing in the mall Black Friday?
She say she here put a iPad on layaway
Drink Julius but you still look thirsty
Shop Forever 21 for Jesus's burfday
I know I got a toy makin' station
Bowl-full-of-Jelly Red Cheeks reputation
Leave-a-pouty-kid-coal reputation
Start a Toy Club, Nerf reputation
I turnt Rudolph into somethin' amazin'
I'll turn the sleigh 'round, his ass keep complainin'
How you gon' whine for the duration?
Rudy flying around all the fuckin' Nation!
Ho, this that snow shit
This that get-ya-dad-to-shovel-and-blow shit
This that slip-right-off-the-roof and say “Oh shit!”
Got a fresh cut, stubbed my big toe bitch

[Bridge: Charlie Wilson]
I know you're tired of wrappin, of wrappin'
With nobody to gift
Nobody, nobody 
(Ho-ho, Santa)

[Kanye]
Close your eyes, let me deliver to a thousand kidses
One good kid is worth a thousand giftses
WRAPPED
WRAPPED
I wanna gift you hard on a rink
After that, milk and cookies to drink
Step back, thumb my nose n wink
I mean damn, what would Ja-Jeezy-Jeezy-Jeezy Christ think? 
Hey, you remember whatcha first gift?
Okay, I don't remember whatcha first gift
But hey, givin’ is the first step
And hey, you know ain't no Santa perfect
And I know, these ho ho’s you’ve come to expect
But hey, these kids I never neglect
And hey, ayo, we made it: Thanksgiving
So hey, maybe we can make it next Christmas
Kid asked what I wished for on my wishlist
Have you ever asked a kid for other kidses?
Baby, you still think that I’m fictitious?
Maybe, but who be giftin’ all your wishes?
After all this long-ass evenin'
I'm tired, you tired
Jesus slept

[Bridge: Charlie Wilson]
I know you're tired of presents, of presents
With nobody to gift
Nobody, nobody
Just gift somebody, this holiday party
With nobody to gift
Nobody, nobody 
(It's a silent night, it's snowing)
(Ho-ho, santa)

[Kanye West]
Saint Nick’s in the house, like a mouse 
Saint Nick’s in the house, like a mouse
WRAPPED
[Hook]
Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts
(Ho Ho Santa)
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Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
Gift it Up written by Joey Clift. 
Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross.

[Intro: Beenie Man]
We buildin’ them gifts?
Christmas

[Verse 1: King Louie]
Makin’ gifts bitch call me Elvish
Toys R’ Us can call me selfish
My toy trains got 'em jealous
Kreezus’ killing, while I'm drilling
Sleigh Bells how they make the news
Meanwhile I’m makin’ shoes
Got my reindeer lined up in twos
Makin’ toys with hammer and screws
I’m an elf, so I got the tools
and we buildin’ those gifts to move
I be gifting hard, I got a name to prove
Makin’ all the children’s Christmas day improve

[Hook: King Louie]
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

Kreezus!

[Verse 2: Kanye West]
This the greatest Jingle of the Bells
Since “Jingle Bells"
Bag packed, I might lug it around
On my reindeers back like my sleighs got bells
She say "Can you call me 'Carol of the Bells'?"
I say "Can you play 'Carol of the Bells'?"
If not, treat your name like my sleigh
Leave they ass off gifts, til you change your way 
When I give gifts, I like wrappin them
When I write names, I like to sign in pen
When I get a box, She gotta a gift again
She can't get a box, that bitch snowed in
The weather cold, even for snowmen
Ruby red on my nose again
Eating cookies straight outta the tin
Kreezus shovel snow again

[Hook: King Louie]
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

[Outro: Beenie Man]
Christmas Gifts don't live like presents do
Santa always 'member you
Whether kids are good or bad
It's the gifts that make kids glad
Christmas Gifts don't live like presents do
Santa always 'member you
Whether kids are good or bad
It's the gifts that make kids glad
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Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy.
Written by Stephen Perlstein. 
Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
Vocals by Carl Tart, Joey Clift, Nick Gligor

[Intro]
I need to make a stop
I need to, I need to drink a milk
'Nother one, cookies gone 
Snickerdoodle
Walking up, on the lawn 
Almond milk, and milk on ice
She get her gifts
I'm eating mine

[Hook: Popcaan]
All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
Dem cookies gone gone gone, sof-sof-softer sof-softer 
All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
Dem cookies gone gone gone, wash em down with milk

[Verse 1]
Maybe it's cause she love Oreos
And I was in Cerritos,
Parking atop a gazebos
I could have milk, I like em cold
Those cookies I will Repo
The carrots I veto
Then drink milk by myself
And I'm feelin' full right now
Cause it's the time when the milk got washed down 
Crocker! Crocker! Betty, Crocker! Crocker!
Pour a little skim milk, cookies i will Nom Ya
Feelin' so good like I never could with SALSA 
Frosting is a symphony, so this is a OPERA
I'm eating chocolate chip, until there is Nada
This milk on a higher plain, call me Dalai Lama
On to the next casa
Dropping off boys gifts here is a, TONKA
Pause when I bite, yeah, eating with a Comma 
Save one for Mama
Nada one left for Mama, Hooooo!

[Hook]
All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
Dem cookies gone gone gone, sof-sof-softer sof-softer 
All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
Dem cookies gone gone gone, wash em down with milk

[Bridge: Popcaan]
None ah dem have the treats so I don’t stay spray 
None ah dem have the milk so I get in my sleigh

[Interlude: Kid Cudi]
Ho, Ho, Ho
If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
Left me milk, left me milk, left me milk, left me milk
If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
Left me milk, left me milk
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Kreezus was written and produced by Local Business Comedy.
Lights on the Trees written by Stephen Perlstein. 
Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
Vocals by Carl Tart, Markeia McCarty.

Local Business is a new sketch comedy group helmed by Joey Clift (Wabbit, Cracked), Nick Gligor (Fox ADHD, Cracked), and Stephen Perlstein (Wabbit, UCB Comedy). Corporations are not people, but Local Business is!

[Intro: Nina Simone]
Strange ornaments hanging from the christmas trees 
Lights on the trees

[Verse 1]
I just need to clear the snow now
It's been building since last Christmastime 
Now I'm going down for Christmas now 
And all I want is not to go fly now
Cause I ain't got the gifts on me right now 
And I told elves to build
Yeah, I told elves to build
But I'mma need a little more time now 
Cause I ain't got the giftiess on me right now 
And I thought elves could build
Yeah, I thought elves could build
These kidses surrounding me
All want something from me
Then they sit up on me
There’s no gift without me
We could've been Snow Buddies
Thought you'd be nice kids 'bout it
Now I know you naughty
So let's fly on with it

[Verse 2]
We could've been Snow Buddies 
'Stead you had to get gift hungry 
Let's take it back to your first Barbie 
When you asked for it from mommy 
She said no to your malarky
She said no to your malarky
But you got Barbie from me
And you was screamin' "POUND PUPPY!" 
Before the Wish List tore ya
Before the Wish List stole ya 
'Member Christmas was so fun?
When I would gift yaaaaaa
Before the lights on the trees
I know this fake Christmas tree 
Something strange is happening

[Verse 3]
You could've been Snow buddies
We could've
Ho! We could've been Snow buddies
Or was it cause the first Barbie
When we hung our first Holly
The gifts came from our heart-y
The gifts came from our heart-y
Before they call stores
Before the Black Friday shoppers
How you gon' fight through the stores?
It's like I don't even know ya
I gotta bring it back to the Claus

[Bridge]
Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer
Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer
Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer 
I ride with my Reindeers
I'd die for my...

[Verse 4]
To all them Jewish ass kidzes, try and get a freebay
Trying to get a freebay, now you talkin' crazy
I don't give a damn if your mom used to see me
It ain't Christmas, this business, need stop actin' greedy
She Instagram her gifts like #BadGiftAlert
I Instagram her back like #KidBitchAlert
I only ever see that sass gettin worse 
Two-thousand-pound coal, too big for your purse
Now you sittin' fireside, presents on the other side
No labels got your name, gotta check the card right
Then you aint satiated, I’m still flying world wide
Then you gotta go and tell your dad and thwart that 
Main reason cause your gift-friends got to sport that 
Mommy say you ain't appreciate and take them gifts back 
All your fucking gifts going back on the gift rack
Nothing now for show and tell, what you think about that?
All in all your tinsel honey, uh
Yeah-yeah, I got you girly
Next year I’ll gift you hard
Ho, Christmas aganony

[Outro]
That winter night holding long and long, 'din long 
Now waiting for the birthday gifts and (cry)
And cry and cry
And cry and cry
And cry and cry
And live and learn
And live and learn
And gifting and gifting like I'm lonely, lonely, lonely
And gifting all I have
And gifting all
And gift
And gift

Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy.
Written by Joey Clift. 
Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
Vocals by Carl Tart, Ify Nwadiwe, James Ross.

[Verse 1: Kanye West]
Damn your bricks very rough
Covered up in soot n’ stuff
And I think I see a dead bird
Ho Ho Ho is what you heard
Gift Bags, Reindeer, jingle bells
presents, gifts, bows, coal, Kris Kringle bells
So many gifts, I need to crash
Empty bag, stockings full, gifts at last
Thank Claus almighty, they gifts at last
Silent as a mouse and I’m leavin' fast
You want a gift for your cat, didn’t even ask
Just kiddin', I brought him a toy, he’ll have a blast
Stuck in a chimney, all those hours lost
Eatin' Christmas cookies, all I need was milk as dippin’ sauce 
Fire place? Please turn the power off
Tub covered in soot when I turn the shower off

[Bridge: Assassin]
That's all Santa can do, say what? (Ho Ho, Ho Ho) 
That's all Santa can do
We deal with Santa ting
Just a Santa ting, a' fat man do
Santa thing, you a fat man thing

[Verse 2: Assassin]
I'm a Santa if you know say
Respect we know gifts, It’s Christmas day Try that 'pon December 25th
That's right, we talkin’ Santa’s sleigh
When we roll 'up 'pon your roof
Yeah badda we givin’ gifts, like a Toys R’ Us 
When we roll 'up 'pon your roof
Yeah badda we givin’ gifts, like a Toys R’ Us
And your roof’s covered in slush
Ho ho ho ho ho ho it’s Christmas day

[Hook: Kanye West and Justin Vernon]
That's right I'm in it,
(Talkin’ bout the Chimney)
I'm in it
(Chimney’s hard to climb)
That's right
(Yeah, It’s a chimney)
I'm in it,
(Singin’ bout that chimney)
That's right, I'm in it
(Don’t burn nothin’ in the chimney)
I'm in it
(Chimney is a Chimney)
Saint Nick’s got a ruby red nose,
But climbin’ chimney’s is hard on your clothes

[Verse 3: Kanye West]
Ho, picked up where we left off
Ho, turn that T.V. set off
Ho, you watching Christmas specials
Ho, you got lotsa tinsel
Ho, you love your toe with missiles
Ho, wrap a whole lotta gifts now
Ho, You know it’s Christmas time
Livin’ room’s bright, it’s Christmas light time
Red gifts with a white twine
Jingle bells at the right time
Open gifts like HOOOOOOOO!

[Hook 2: Assassin, Justin Vernon, and Kanye West] 
I’m in the Chimney and I can't get out
(That's all dem can do (Wiggling legs)
I’m in the Chimney and I can't get out
(Wiggling Legs)
(Wiggling Legs)
It’s a Santa ting
Just a Santa thing, a' fat man do Saint Nick’s got a ruby red nose

[Bridge: Justin Vernon]
Say you got a gift for me, for you
Hey, gifts and presents rule
Gift Giver
Gift Giver
Gift Giver
Ho, Ho

[Outro: Kanye West]
Givin’ lotsa gifts right now
Ho, Christmas tree full of lights now
Ho, got the cookies-and-the-milk life 
Ho, elf hammer and drill life
Ho, there ain’t shit for the bad kids 
Ho, they’ll have coal for a nightlight 
Ho, North pole like the klondike
Ho, cookies make me wanna take a bite 
Ho, Santa start a new movement 
Ho, Little drummer boy drummin
Ho, Droppin’ yuletide beats
Ho, pa rum pum pum pum pummin 
Ho, these gifts I am giftin
Ho, Rudolph’s nose is glowin
Ho, I be giftin’ soda streams-ees
Ho, Don’t need no gift reciept-ees
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Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
Hold My Eggnog written by Stephen Perlstein. 
Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross, Nick Gligor.


[Intro: Justin Vernon]
I can hold my Egg Nog
But these elves can’t decorate trees 
Fat and Jolly now
On the north pole, headin south
I'm on to Indiana
I heard it's christmas now

[Hook: Chief Keef]
I can't handle no egg nog
But these elves can’t decorate trees
I can't control my reindeers
And my reindeers they can't control me 
You say you know me, my reindeer
But you really just know Frosty

[Verse 1: Kanye West]
Kids I'm out my food coma
Drinkin’ nog (or milk) on your sofa 
When I pull my sleigh over
Slightly scratch ya new Solar (Panel) 
Okay, I smashed ya new Solar (Panel) 
Shoulda bought a snow blower 
Thousand years I been chauffeur 
Gifts is why I came over
One more milk and I can own ya
One more keebler I can own ya
One cold night in December 
Knapsack got me floating
Feel like Meisterburger
Krampus had me dead
Might call Rudolph over
Kreezy’s still on your sofa
We the bad North Polers
Still ain't learn to be Santas
You hate me when it’s October
I hate the soot in your smoker 
Eating all a ya donut
Then elf Hermey came over
Pointy ears with no shoulders
Tell me that these gifts bogus
Elf you don't even know us 
Hermey, he's a poser 
Hermey, he's a poser 
Dentist is his Persona 
X-rays all in his folder
Elfs think he just bogus
Ho ho hos became ho-less 
When it's cold it's colder
And kid, I'm out my food coma

[Bridge: Justin Vernon] 
Crawling up your fire’s place 
Gifts all over the place
All I got was coal
Hoooo I wanna go home

[Hook: Chief Keef]
I can't handle no egg nog
But these elves can’t decorate trees
I can't control my reindeers
And my reindeers they can't control me 
You say you know me, my reindeer 
But you really just know Frosty

[Outro: Justin Vernon and Kanye West]
I heard you need a new ipad (a new gift)
I heard you need a new pack (a new gift)
I heard you need a new phone (a new gift)
I know your present ain't be home (a new gift)

[Bridge]
Crawling up your fire’s place
Gifts all over the place
All I got was coal
Hoooo I wanna go home

Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices