Lost your Marbles Hold Your Horses: Idioms for Idiots

We’ve all had those days. You’re late for an interview and as you’re
running on the sidewalk, so is a massive mastiff who decides to relieve
itself in the exact spot that you step. Not only are you late, but you have
to scrape off the fecal matter that has now affixed itself to the bottom of
your shoe. If you do not take care of this, your potential employers will
either wonder why you only own one shoe on OR why they are interviewing
someone who ushers in the pungent smell of a dog park. Your best bet is to
clean that shoe and FAST. The shoe is clean and now you’re in the room.
Handshakes and smiles, you need to make an impression in order to make up
for being late. Instead of ignoring it, you confront it head-on and explain
to the panel of high-level executives what exactly transpired on that
sidewalk. You launch into a tirade of unaccompanied animals and how it’s a
public disgrace that dogs are allowed to roam wherever and treat the city
like their own personal toilet. They’re all nodding. The bearded one
releases a small chuckle. To seal the deal and as a matter of personal
revenge, you add that the offending dog was a mastiff. Suddenly, the room
turns cold and all smiles are gone. The suits look over at their colleague
who seems to be personally wounded by your words. Turns out, his lineage is
from a long line of esteemed breeders who even bred dogs for President
Theodore Roosevelt. Their breed of speciality? You guessed it— mastiff. The
assistant quickly whisks you away and you’re back on the street. With all
prospects gone and an empty refrigerator back at your apartment, it’s hard
to feel like you haven’t totally lost your marbles. “Isn’t that an idiom?”
You think. Grabbing your phone and headphones, you tap to your podcast
platform of choice and see that your favorite show, Hold Your Horses:
Idioms for Idiots just released a new episode. You pull your collar tighter
and smile. Things are looking up already.