The Cool Grandpa Podcast Greg Payne

This weekend is July 4th or Independence Day in the United States. It was the day that the United States declared its independence from England. In this one-on-one conversation, I want to encourage you to declare your independence from just ONE thing holding you back on your journey to becoming the coolest grandparent ever.

We declare independence from a negative mindset, emotion, or even a condition by doing the following:

Write down (paper, a Google Doc, whatever but something) ONE (1) thing causing you not to enjoy being the best grandparent ever. Don't write down more than one thing. We can rinse and repeat this process as often as we like. Think about and write down what actions, thoughts, etc., are in your control. Don't worry about what you can't control, focus on you. When you look at your list, is this complete, or have you left items off because of assumptions or oversite on your part? Create a plan to add to, enhance, remove, or reduce thoughts or actions that you control that would reduce or eliminate your inability to enjoy being the awesome grandparent you are. Keep track of your plan and then see if it resolves your negative thoughts or anxiety about whatever you decide to work on. Don't be afraid to adjust your plan as you need to. The goal of breaking free from what is controlling you is what is important, not how you get there. Celebrate your Independence!
In my example this week, I used the anxiety that some grandparents feel when they send letters or gifts to their grandchildren and then don't hear anything back from the children's parents. I talked about how, immediately hearing lately from the grandchildren's moms and dads whether something has been received, using a tracking number can help ease someone's mind. After all, you can follow up and check with the carrier whether an item was delivered.

I hope you find these steps and this helpful approach. If you did, please share this content with a friend or family member who might be struggling with an aspect of being a grandparent. I want all of us to declare our independence from whatever is holding us back from enjoying this exceptional period and role in life.

Links
I invite you to join me at Grandparents Week by clicking this link: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/a/2147832178/ikxv5HFd.

If you want to sign up for my course, Intentional Grandfathering, please use this link: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/intentional-grandfathering-masterclass.

This week's episode is a round table or cracker barrel discussion for The Cool Grandpa Podcast. The term cracker barrel comes from when, primarily, men would gather in a country store and eat saltine crackers out of a wooden barrel while talking about the weather, news, gossip, etc. I thought this description fits rather well to get a great group of guys together to talk about Grandpa stuff. In this episode, we have the following guests, who comprise our august body: Frank Pomata, who joins us from Long Island. James Lott Jr. represents Los Angeles (and Brooklyn). Neil Taft is from Leland, North Carolina, and Winn Egan joins us from Salt Lake City.

Each of these men joins us with various levels of experience and expertise in being a grandfather and promoting the importance of grandfathers in the lives of our grandchildren and communities. This exercise is an enjoyable way to share insights, question our roles, and, most importantly, be able to suggest to each other how we can all be more loving and supportive of the grandchildren in our lives.

During our discussion, we discuss the following subjects:

"What do grandchildren want and need?" - Winn Egan   "What have you learned from your grandchildren?" - Frank Pomata   "Creating a lasting, meaningful connection" - Neil Taft   "Watching your kids...parent! How do you handle their style vs your style?" - James Lott Jr
You will enjoy the fun we have and our almost instant connection as we focus on how grandfathers can support our grandchildren, our adult children, and their spouses. I have included links below for the episodes each man has participated in as one-on-one guests and how you can connect with James, Frank, Neil, and Winn.

Please share this conversation with friends and family who will enjoy hearing about these subjects and these gentlemen's wisdom.

Links
Here is the link to the episode that I recorded with Winn: https://cool-grandpa.us/2022/07/ep-89-being-an-example/

A great way to connect with Winn is by reading his fantastic blog, "Grandparenting on Purpose," which you can find at this link: https://www.grandparentingonpurpose.com/blog.

If you would like to order his book, you can do so by clicking this link: https://www.amazon.com/Grandparenting-Purpose-Activities-Traditions-Grandchildren/dp/1949165256?ccs_id=622be96c-7e23-4cf2-891b-c3c9326180b8

Here is the link for the latest episode that I had with Frank Pomata: https://cool-grandpa.us/2023/05/ep-130-permission-to-be-creative/

Frank would also like to connect with you on LinkedIn, and you can find his profile here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frankpomata/

Click on this link to listen to my latest podcast with James Lott, Jr.: https://cool-grandpa.us/2022/09/ep-96-being-a-role-model/.

James "Popa Jamie" Lott, Jr. can be found at JLJ Media: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJbunerNsVDOMLCrInkAzow.

You can subscribe to the "Really! I'm A Grandparent" podcast on YouTube and other podcast service providers: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=really!+i%27m+a+grandparent.

James Lott Jr's other website is https://alottofhelp.wordpress.com/

You can read Neil's blog at: https://www.caringgrandparents.com/

If you would like to order Neil's book, "Good To Great Grandparenting," you can do so by clicking HERE

I invite you to join me at Grandparents Week by clicking this link: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/a/2147832178/ikxv5HFd.

If you would like to watch this conversation on YouTube, you can click on this link: https://youtu.be/dAxdwOb16E8.

Larry Tribble, PhD, joins us this week to discuss how busy professionals can be productive in managing their professional and personal lives. Larry and I start our discussion by defining what a typical knowledge worker experiences concerning minimum direction and oversight by the management team we report to. We compare the state of management and the working environment today to that of forty to fifty years ago. As part of that comparison, we discuss how pride in creating space for leisure activities signals your success in your professional life. Now, it seems the opposite is true. We see people bragging about how busy and indispensable they are, leaving little time for self-development, personal fulfillment, and even family and grandchildren.

As our conversation progresses, Larry talks about how humans enjoy being busy or occupied. He also talks about how we sometimes confuse activity for productivity. We agree that being busy tends to be an activity that does not move a task or goal forward or at least not noticeably further. Productivity, on the other hand, is focused action that purposely moves to close out a task or accomplish a goal. Larry discusses the roadblocks to focused work as we continue our conversation about being busy versus productive. We further discuss his Attention Compass program, which successfully helps professionals learn or relearn to focus on what is essential for themselves and their teams.

Larry lists the following as roadblocks or waste to doing busy right:

Interruptions - This is pretty self-explanatory. These are all the items that take us out of our flow or mindset for the task that we are working on.   Multi-tasking - There is no such thing. There is mult-focus, which takes an already limited resource and diminishes it by creating other tasks or goals with the result of work that is often sub-par to what we could have accomplished by defending our time and mindset.   Distraction - This waste of effort often allows thoughts or external stimuli to pop up, keeping us from getting into a work groove and putting our best efforts and abilities into the task at hand.
We next pivot to a discussion about Larry's father, his impact on Larry growing up, and how his father and mother embraced becoming grandparents to two adopted children. Larry does a great job in telling us how his father and mother took the new family members to heart and, in typical grandparent fashion, might have gone a bit overboard that first Christmas. Larry and I also discuss fathers' roles as coaches and mentors in their adult children's lives.

You will enjoy this conversation with Larry, and I encourage you to share it with friends and family. You can also connect with Larry through the links and email addresses below.

Links
Use this link to sign up for Grandparents Week. This is a great free resource for grandparents: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/a/2147832178/ikxv5HFd.

Here is Larry's email address should you want to send him a question or even provide him with feedback about what you found valuable in our conversation: larry@dobusyright.com

Click on this link to visit Larry's website, Do Busy Right: https://dobusyright.com/

If you would like to connect with Larry through LinkedIn, you can use this link to view his profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larrytribble/

Dr. Gene Beresin, MD, MA, from The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, joins us to discuss the increase in loneliness among today's teenagers. We start by discussing the Surgeon General's report on loneliness, the causes and effects of loneliness in teenagers, and the role of social media and over-scheduling in contributing to loneliness.

We also discuss and emphasize the importance of face-to-face interactions, social-emotional learning, and deep relationships in combating loneliness. We talk about the need for grandparents to be a resource for their grandchildren. Gene and I feel that Grandparents play a unique role in their grandchildren's lives, offering wisdom, support, and meaningful conversations about challenges we have faced and overcome.

Grandparents can teach new skills, validate their grandchildren's knowledge of technology, and foster curiosity and connection. However, as we discuss, social media can be beneficial and detrimental. It can foster connections and academic resources but also displace in-person engagement and lead to cyberbullying and misinformation. It's important for grandparents to ask about loneliness, anxiety, and depression and to have conversations about mental health.

Here is a list of the surgeon general's seven recommendations. I also strongly recommend purchasing the e-book Ways to Help Your Lonely Teen, discussed in this episode. The link is https://store.bookbaby.com/book/ways-to-help-your-lonely-teen.

Invest in Your Relationship with Your Child or Loved One   Model Healthy Social Connection   Help Children Develop Relationships with Supportive Adults   Encourage Healthy Social Connection with Peers   Be Attentive to How Young People Spend Time Online   Identify Behaviors that May Increase Risk for Social Disconnection   Talk to Your Children About Social Connection Regularly
Once you have listened to this important conversation, please share it with someone who would benefit from Gene's wisdom and insights in working with children and adolescents.

Links
Click here to visit The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds: https://www.mghclaycenter.org/

You can order your e-book, Your Lonely Teen, by clicking this link: https://www.mghclaycenter.org/spotlight/

Here is a link to the ShrinkingIt Down Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0vzxZCZ8qci88yFa4utxLK.

Here is the link to the first conversation that Gene and I had: https://cool-grandpa.us/2021/10/ep-51-talking-about-mental-health-with-our-grandchildren/

Use this link to sign up for Grandparents Week. This is a great free resource for grandparents: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/a/2147832178/ikxv5HFd.

If you would like to view this interview, click on this link: https://youtu.be/-oZ7HXpiuGI.

This week, we have another chance to have a one-on-one conversation. In this week's episode, I share four tips you can implement immediately to enhance your relationship with your grandchildren.

Our first tip is to help our grandchildren learn to give and receive compliments. Remember that when complimenting our grandchildren and people generally, we want to be timely and specific. Too often, we can fall into the trap of discounting or dismissing compliments for different reasons. A great way to help our grandchildren learn to be both polite and generous with their praise is to model how to give and receive compliments.

Tip two is to write down or document important information about your grandchildren. We all want to keep birthdays and other information about our grandchildren straight, but it can become challenging to keep this in our minds, especially when we end up with multiple grandchildren. Writing down information in a notepad or an electronic document is a great way to help keep track of what is first and foremost in our grandchildren's lives. It is also fun to track how their tastes and preferences change.

Our third tip is to become a fantastic listener. We all desire to be heard and listened to. It is one way that we feel we matter to people close to us. Being an active listener vs. an active fixer might be a tough challenge for cool grandpas. After all, we all desire to jump in and correct what might be an obstacle to our grandchildren's desires. This notion of fixing everything needs to take second place to truly listen to our grandchildren's hopes, dreams, and even their pain.

This episode's fourth and final tip is to express love in and around the grandchildren. Remember that they are always watching how you interact with your spouse, your adult children, and your child's spouse or partner. How you touch, talk, and interact with close family members is how the grandchild will associate love. A great way to express love is to talk about how much you love members of your family AND your love towards your friends and others outside your family. This explicit and implicit conversation will help to demonstrate what you and your family consider love for family and friends.

If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, share, and subscribe to this podcast. If you would like to work with me on increasing your influence and relationship as a grandparent, don't hesitate to contact me. Let's talk about whether my current coaching program might fit you.

Links
To sign up for Grandparents Academy's Grandparents Week, you can use this link: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/a/2147832178/ikxv5HFd.

If you would like to watch this episode, you can check it out on YouTube by clicking this link: https://youtu.be/0HPhJUCG8Mg

This week’s guest is Adrienne Davis. Adrienne is a Health & Wellness Coach, helping adults and children overcome physical and mental health challenges by eating more plants and spending time outdoors. She’s a plant-based wife and momma with 3 sons and a dog. Adrienne loves nature, especially hiking, tent camping, and listening to cicadas. After using nature and nutrition to eliminate her panic attacks and help her husband reverse Type 2 Diabetes, she now helps others take charge of their health so they can live life to the fullest and become all that God has created them to be.
We talk about her memories of her grandparents, and she updates us on what has been going on with her since the last time we spoke. We learn how Adrienne ended up in delivery with her third son right before our previous episode went live. I also ask about her memories of her oldest son’s experience with her grandfather.
Adrienne discusses how she felt called to start helping people with Type 2 Diabetes to minimize complications through a combination of plant-based nutrition and nature therapy, to create a holistic approach to living a healthy lifestyle. You will enjoy learning about how God led Adrienne to return to spending time in nature to reduce stress and promote wellness, and how following that prompting has served her well.
Adrienne provides valuable insight into how grandparents can introduce or use nature to connect with their grandchildren. We agree that many meaningful experiences occur when grandchildren and grandparents work or play outdoors. As Adrienne says, her job is to help grandparents be able to go hiking and actively play with their grandchildren.
Once you have listened to this episode, please remember to like, share, and subscribe to the show. Also, be sure to connect with Adrienne using the link to Raven Creek Wellness below.

LINKS
To sign up for Grandparents Academy's Grandparents Week, you can use this link: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/a/2147832178/ikxv5HFd.

You can click on this link to visit Raven's Creek Wellness: https://ravencreekwellness.net/

Click on this link to hear the first conversation that Adrienne and I had about her grandfather: https://cool-grandpa.us/2020/12/ep-22-learning-about-a-strong-relationship-with-adriennes-grandfather/