The Union Podcast The Union

Healthy and thriving marriages filled with love are cultivated over longer periods. Just like with grapes grown to make wine, it can take years of purposeful attention to the proverbial soil quality of this covenantal relationship. Sometimes there can be little rocks under the surface that end up choking the life and love out of marriages.  Little things left unchecked can become big problems.

So, how do we identify these rocks and get them out of the soil of our marriages so that the fruit of this relationship can be intoxicatingly healthy?

This is exactly what we are going to discuss in today's episode with Neil & Sharol Josephson from FamilyLife.

Before stepping into the call to work with FamilyLife, Neil worked as a Bible school president and Sharol as a TV broadcaster. Together they also worked as marriage pastors at a large church in Southern California. In addition, they have served as the directors of FamilyLife Canada and have recently stepped into a role as the directors of FamilyLife International. Neil and Sharol have been married for over 40 years and have a great depth of understanding and wisdom in what it takes to have a thriving marriage. This was a great conversation and we know it will impact your life.

We often talk about how God is the "Author and Finisher of our faith" and how He "orders our steps". However, when it comes to the reality of singleness, we have a hard time believing that it could be under His authorship. This is compounded by the overemphasis that can be placed on marriage within the church at times, which leaves us wondering, "Do I write my story, or is God writing my story?" In this conversation, we will be discussing these very issues with our guest, Meisha Watson.

Meisha has worked in the Canadian entertainment industry for over 12 years. She has hosted on YTV's The Zone and the ZoneWeekend, presented at the Canadian Screen Awards, and interviewed top chefs from across Canada. Meisha is the executive producer of the hilarious, musically led, biblical teaching variety show for kids called 'HEY MEISHA!', which airs on Saturday mornings on YES TV and streams on YouTube, Yippee TV, and the Castle TV App. In addition, Meisha also produces and hosts the podcast "My Single Story", where she gets real about the dynamics of being a single Christian. Meisha's guests join her to discuss not only the good, the bad, and the cringeworthy, but also to make space for community as we are equipped, heard, and cherished by God. You can find "My Single Story" podcast on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Check the show notes to stay up to speed and follow along with Meisha.

In This Episode we cover:
-How to breakthrough in trusting God in your singleness
-Recommendations for people in the “dating world”
-How to stay hopeful
-How to hold to convictions
-How to involve your community
-Navigating the challenges of the online dating world
And more…

Have you ever wondered how we ended up in a world where masculinity gets a bad rap? You might have seen headlines like "Why Can't We Hate Men?" or come across hashtags like #KillAllMen. It's a trend that's hard to ignore, with articles titled "I Hate Men," "No Good Men," and "Are Men Necessary?" You might have also heard claims that evangelical Christian men are prime examples of toxic behaviour. However, the research tells a different story. Studies show that men who are committed to their families and attend church regularly are often the most loving husbands and dedicated fathers out there. And get this—they also have the lowest rates of divorce and domestic violence in the country.

In her book, The Toxic War On Masculinity, Pearcey takes us on a journey through history to uncover how the idea of masculinity became tangled up with negativity. But it's not all doom and gloom. She's also armed with solutions for how we can turn things around. These sociological insights challenge the stereotypes we often hear about men and show us that embracing traditional Christian values can help bridge the gap between the sexes. So, next time you come across a #KillAllMen tweet or a book bashing masculinity, remember that there's more to the story—and that there are steps we can take to create a flourishing world for everyone.

Nancy Pearcey's latest book is The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes. Her earlier books include Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions about Life and Sexuality, The Soul of Science, Saving Leonardo, Finding Truth, and two ECPA Gold Medallion Award Winners: How Now Shall We Live (coauthored with Harold Fickett and Chuck Colson) and Total Truth. Her books have been translated into 19 languages. She is a professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. As a former agnostic, Pearcey has spoken at universities such as Princeton, Stanford, USC, and Dartmouth. She has been quoted in The New Yorker and Newsweek highlighted as one of the five top women apologists by Christianity Today, and hailed in The Economist as "America's pre-eminent evangelical Protestant female intellectual."

In the journey of building meaningful relationships, it's essential to recognize the impact societal influences, like pornography, can have on our expectations. While it's often unspoken, the truth is that pornography can subtly chip away at the trust and sense of security vital for any relationship to thrive. Yet, in acknowledging this reality, we're presented with an opportunity to foster deeper connections.

Let's envision a future where trust and safety are the cornerstones of our relationships, where love flourishes and freedom reigns. It's about creating spaces where authenticity and intimacy can truly blossom. So, how do we keep porn out of our lives and relationships in a way that leads to flourishing and freedom?

This is why Layton and Chelsea Boeve, from the Liberator Podcast, join us here on episode 86. Layton and Chelsea are a married couple from Northern Michigan and are the hosts of the Liberator Podcast. The Liberator Podcast is a discussion of pornography’s hard truths through the lens of stories, science, and Scripture. They bring the perspective of both a man and a woman to remove the barriers of shame and embarrassment that stifle conversations and community around the effects of pornography.
In this episode, we discuss:

- How does porn addiction affect relationships, and how can young adults navigate open conversations with their partners about this issue?

- Breaking the stigma surrounding porn addiction can be tough. How do you think we can work together to break the stigma while still acknowledging the severity of its effects on our lives?

- Societal perceptions influenced by pornographic content can create unrealistic expectations within relationships. What do you think distinguishes positive sexuality from porn's portrayal of sex?

- When trust is compromised due to issues related to porn consumption, what steps can couples take to rebuild trust and strengthen their emotional intimacy?

- Are there any specific trust-building exercises or communication techniques that can aid in the healing process?

You can find the Liberator Podcast on Apple or Spotify Podcasts as well as through their website below.

check out the Liberator podcast

@liberator.podcast

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In the past few months, we had the privilege to speak at various Young Adult ministries and engage in Q&A sessions. Our discussions revolved around sexuality, identity, and relationships. In this particular episode, we will be addressing the top 5 questions about healthy relationships and marriage.

In this episode we cover:

1. How to handle insecurity while being single but desiring a romantic partner.

2. How to navigate conversations about gender identity and previous sexual experiences in a romantic relationship.

3. How to prioritize God and keep Him at the centre of your life.

4. How to move forward and pursue healthy connections without being defined by past experiences.

5. How to ensure that physical intimacy aligns with holy sexuality in marriage, preventing issues like lust and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Join us in this riveting episode as we delve deep into the complexities of unresolved trauma, exploring its impact on friendships and marriages. Our expert guest, Tara Lalonde PhD, a seasoned psychotherapist and marriage counsellor, shares profound insights and practical advice for supporting individuals amid their trauma journeys. Tara recently worked with Focus On The Family Canada in producing a resource centred around helping people find Healing From Un-resolved Trauma. If you find this podcast episode helpful and want to go deeper we would highly recommend signing up for this free resource.

Episode #84 Highlights:
-Demystifying Trauma: In a world increasingly aware of trauma, our guest breaks down the concept for listeners, providing a clear understanding of what is meant when we speak of trauma and its various forms.
-Big T vs. Little T Trauma: Explore the distinctions between Big T and Little T trauma, gaining valuable insights into why these nuances matter in mental and emotional well-being
-Procedural Maps and Life Filters: Unpack the fascinating concept of procedural maps and how they become the lenses through which we navigate life, shaping our perceptions and responses to the world around us.

-Childhood Trauma Unveiled: Understand why experiences from our formative years persist into adulthood, affecting relationships and emotional well-being…and more!

Tara Lalonde, a registered psychotherapist in Ontario, has been counselling adults and couples for over 20 years and is a lead marriage therapist with the Hope Restored marriage intensive counselling program in Ontario, Canada. She also has a private practice focusing on trauma recovery. Tara holds a doctorate in professional counselling from Liberty University and has theological training through her Master’s of Divinity in professional counselling, minoring in pastoral studies, from Tyndale Seminary. Tara has appeared on 100 Huntley Street and 700 Club along with radio programs and podcasts in Canada. She is also the author of An Unexpected Freedom: Discover Peace and Joy in the Reality of Life. She is also publishing a new book she co-authored that will be out in July 2024. Tara and her husband Vince have been married for 19 years.

For more info on the Hope Restored Marriage Intensive, click here