Healer Weeler Bakcho ki vines

It's okay

A Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is akin to an unproductive pattern, the kind that involves the same disagreements again and again with no satisfactory resolution. The issues eventually start to feel unresolvable and frustrating.

Maybe it's not arguing, maybe its making assumptions, or refusing to recognize when someone else might be right, or you might be right.
How the Pattern Started

It can be useful to look at your own behavior in your relationships. Look at the role you usually play across all types of relationships.

Look at the early relationships you saw in your family, how you communicated your needs, and how your needs were met. It can reveal how you might relate to others now.

If someone in your early life was manipulative and you learned to doubt them, you may doubt other people, too.
Own Your Role

Once you've identified the pattern, be accountable for your part. It is more than just apologizing. Own your role and then change your behavior. How could you do it differently?

The more responsibility you take for your part in your relationships, the more likely you are to recognize and make necessary changes.
Slow Down the Conversation

Focus on clearly conveying your whole emotional message and try to hear the whole of the other person's without thinking it is an attack.

Saying "I feel like you..." instead of "You never/You always..." can lead to a more productive discussion.
Talk with Purpose

Important conversations are best when they're intentional and contained. Try to separate the discussion from the arguments or actions that led to it.

It's helpful to say that you have something on your mind and would like to have a kind and respectful conversation about it. Ask when it would be a good time for the other person. Then talk about it intentionally and without distractions.
A Chance for Change

The best thing about knowing you have a problem is the opportunity to fix it.

Using our struggles within our relationships can help us discover parts of ourselves that need healing and growth. It can lead us to become better friends, partners, and people.
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Abdominal Breathing Technique

How it’s done: With one hand on the chest and the other on the belly, take a deep breath in through the nose, ensuring the diaphragm inflates with enough air to create a stretch in the lungs. The goal: 6to 10 deep, slow breaths per minute for 10 minutes each day to experience immediate reductions to heart rate and blood pressure.When it works best: Before an exam, or any stressful event.
Progressive Relaxation

How it’s done: To nix tension from head to toe, close the eyes and focus on tensing and relaxing each muscle group for 2 to 3 seconds each.Start with the feet and toes, then move up to the knees, thighs, rear, chest, arms, hands, neck, jaw and eyes — all while maintaining deep, slow breaths.
Dizziness is never the goal. If holding the breath ever feels uncomfortable, tone it down to just a few seconds at most.
Sama Vritti or “Equal Breathing”

How it’s done:Inhale for a count of 4, then exhale for a count of 4, all through the nose, which adds a natural resistance to the breath. Once you manage it, you can go up to a count of 6.
It calm the nervous system, increase focus and reduce stress.
When it works best: Anytime, anyplace — but this is one technique that’s especially effective before bed.
Kapalabhati or “Skull Shining Breath”

How it’s done: This one begins with a long, slow inhale, followed by a quick, powerful exhale generated from the lower belly. Once comfortable with the contraction, up the pace to one inhale-exhale (all through the nose) every 1 to 2 seconds, for a total of 10 breaths.
When it works best: When it’s time to wake up, warm up or start looking on the brighter side of things
Guided Visualization

How it’s done: Head straight for that “happy place,” no questions asked. With a coach, therapist or helpful recording as your guide, breathe deeply while focusing on pleasant, positive images to replace any negative thoughts.
When it works best: Pretty much anyplace you can safely close your eyes and let go (e.g. not at the wheel of a car).
Nadi Shodhana or “Alternate Nostril Breathing”

How it’s done: Starting in a comfortable meditative pose, hold the right thumb over the right nostril and inhale deeply through the left nostril. At the peak of inhalation, close off the left nostril with the ring finger, then exhale through the right nostril. Continue the pattern, inhaling through the right nostril, closing it off with the right thumb and exhaling through the left nostril.
When it works best: Crunch time, or whenever it’s time to focus or energize.
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Boredom is unused potential

Boredom is a disconnection to everything we can offer the world and vice versa.It's not influenced by external simulation, it's actually an indicator of how you engage with the world.
.. Boredom is a social disease

Ages ago, when people were busy trying to survive, boredom wasn’t a choice. They spent all their time securing food or shelter.
We are now overstimulated — easy access to infinite entertainment options is feeding boredom rather than discouraging it.
Embracing busyness to escape boredom

People embrace busyness  because they are having a hard time being alone and enjoying it.
Being busy is a tricky form of entertainment however — we don’t feel the boredom, but it isn’t fun either.
Boredom and addictions

Boredom is responsible for increased risk of overeating, gambling, alcohol, drug abuse.
Individuals with high boredom-proneness are more likely to suffer from anxiety, OCD depression.
3 kinds of boredom

• A form of anxiety. We search for external antidote to boredom: Netflix, a device, company to rescue us.
• Rooted in fear. We are afraid of being alone with ourselves and paying attention to who we are.
• The realization that what really makes us feel bored is our thoughts, not reality itself - the world is predictable, our thoughts about it are repetitive.

Embracing boredom as a positive force

• Meditate: Once you stop resisting boredom, it’s no longer threatening;
• Boredom feeds creativity: Mind wandering invites creativity.
• Avoid technology: Entertainment snacks will make you crave for more.
• Recover the joy in performing mundane tasks: Recovering the pleasure of performing small duties builds a sense of pride and achievement.

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