Do The Work Do The Work

Sabrina sits down with Matthias Barker for a second time to dive into the detrimental effects of people-pleasing, a common trauma response where individuals regulate others to feel safe themselves. Unlike genuine empathy, people-pleasing stems from fear and often involves manipulation. Barker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and confronting dysfunction rather than avoiding it, as true safety doesn't come from constant monitoring out of fear. He advises distinguishing between needs and anxiety, advocating for acceptance and mutual attunement in relationships. Personal experiences shared by both Sabrina and Barker highlight the necessity of building a solid relationship foundation, addressing big emotions, and helping partners express their needs authentically without resorting to people-pleasing behaviors.

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Sabrina is back for a solo episode this week, exploring the pitfalls of chasing the wrong things in relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and breaking negative patterns. She shares her journey from anxious attachment, seeking validation from unsuitable partners, to finding balance and self-acceptance. Sabrina recounts personal experiences of idolizing shallow relationships and ignoring red flags, which led to emotional pain and wasted time. She advises listeners to recognize when interest is unreciprocated, set boundaries, and trust their gut feelings. By focusing on self-love and understanding one's true needs, Sabrina highlights that healthy, secure relationships become more attainable. Ultimately, she encourages introspection and embracing discomfort as essential steps toward meaningful growth and fulfilling partnerships.

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This week, Sabrina sits down with Jason Goldberg, a speaker, coach, and author, who emphasizes reframing negative thoughts and consistent action to challenge a fixed mindset, particularly in dating. He shares his experiences with anxiety and depression, advocating for grounding oneself in physical sensations before cognitive reframing. Jason and Sabrina share about loving oneself independently of others' validation, recognizing personal insecurities, and understanding that not being liked often reflects others' issues, not one's inadequacies. Jason highlights the importance of intentional communication and managing anxiety in relationships, sharing his own experience maintaining long-distance connections and handling uncomfortable conversations. Ultimately, he and Sabrina promote self-love and resilience as foundations for healthy relationships.

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Sabrina is joined today by Dr. Ramani, a clinical psychologist, who describes narcissism as a maladaptive personality style rooted in low empathy, appearance focus, and a need for admiration, with insecurity and shame at its core. Children of narcissistic parents often experience guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Sabrina speaks to her personal experiences with a narcissistic parent. Dr. Ramani dives into the nuanced topic of knowing when to walk away as an adult child which involves setting boundaries, understanding the individual’s journey, and prioritizing therapy. Co-parenting with a narcissist presents immense challenges, requiring prioritization of children's well-being and seeking professional support. Overall, the impact of narcissistic behavior on familial relationships and psychological well-being necessitates understanding, boundary setting, and therapeutic intervention.

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Sabrina talks with guest Anna Przy about the mental health journey that led to her current ventures. Addressing mental health needs can be a complex process, and the journey is not always straightforward, which can make it unappealing to some. In their conversation, Sabrina and Anna discuss the transition from treating mental wellness as a taboo subject to being open to receiving help and sharing the wisdom behind accepting help. Both emphasize how shame around seeking help causes breakdown before realizing "I'm not okay." Anna shares how finding love and marriage not long after pursuing her mental health journey changed her perception of living life for herself, but also loving living her life with her husband. Accepting the possibility of growing apart from people during your mental health journey is crucial. It is a testament to becoming secure after healing. Prioritizing mental health enables setting boundaries to overcome setbacks like imposter syndrome, anxiety, and burnout from the expectation of constant productivity.

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Sabrina gets real about dating fatigue and common misconceptions during and after dating. Does it ever end after you get into a relationship? She breaks down the sources of exhaustion and how to counter it by focusing on what you can control about the dating experience. You can create a life around your dating experience and still feel the highs and lows of dating. It is essential to validate those emotions before re-evaluating the exhaustion. Your expectations of the dating experience need to change and include being practical about the pace of getting to know someone. Sabrina lays out what it means to go slow while dating and how it can help you make the most of the dating experience.

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