Kagro in the Morning David Waldman

It is Tuesday! Three in a row for convict Donald Trump, one of many for the inculpable David Waldman and Joan McCarter.
Donald Trump isn't messing around. If you aren’t with him, you're against him. Even if you are with him, if you weren’t with him, you’re against him. Because, Donald’s a lunatic megalomaniac, and those are just the rules. Republicans are just toys for Trump’s amusement, therefore Gops will eat their own if it keeps them safe from Trump another day... although there are a couple left who hope that God might still be more powerful. They’ll learn.
Mike Johnson has learned, and has placed Trump stooges Scott Perry and Ronny Jackson as moles onto the key Intelligence Committee. Florida Gop Anna Paulina Luna must have skimmed some old Daily Kos issues and discovered “inherent contempt”, which Democrats were afraid to try because it might work, and Republicans want to try because it probably won’t. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Warren leads the Democratic charge against the Republican extension of Trump tax cuts.
There’s brawling in the Supreme Court too. Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Amy Coney Barrett are getting sick of Clarence Thomas’ originalist textualist malarky… And, can you believe it? The gun lobby and manipulated data seem to figure into many 2nd Amendment decisions!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to make your Monday… less so.
20 days in and convicted felon Donald Trump is still on the run, from authorities, morality, reality, sanity… Other than for maybe the law, Donald has an insurmountable head start, aided by an equally addled and prevaricating lineup of hypocrites, traitors, and idiots. For example, “Blacks for Trump” —  8,000 jerks somehow packed into 300 morons. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor tells us that if people are indeed interested in six decades of advocacy and action committed to the Black community, they should look up Joe Biden.
MAGA isn’t interested in that, of course, and you can’t tell them anything. However, Joe’s going to try, with a $50 million blitz, advertising that Trump is “A convicted criminal who’s only out for himself”. Sure, you know that, but you keep saying that once everyone else knows that, Biden is certain to win, so that’s what he is trying.
Donald’s always been a mendacious asshole, as biopic "The Apprentice" aptly and artfully reveals, but good luck seeing it with the leftist, woke media stranglehold in the US.
Meanwhile, Infowars is hard to kill.  Infowars gone might be nicer than money for Alex Jones’ victims.
One way or the other, the Anti-Abortion Movement is late in its term.
The titanium on Boeing and Airbus jets is beginning to rust, and people are beginning to suspect that it just might not be titanium.
Fake electors will get to actually nominate Donald Trump in Horrible Milwaukee. At least the Wisconsin Supreme Court suspended Jim Troupis.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman celebrates making it to the weekend on his last fraying vocal cord, while I celebrate publishing over 2,000 entries obviously not written by AI since 2015.
It’s unanimous. The Supreme Court ruled on FDA v. Alliance For Hippocratic Medicine. 9-0 because it lacked standing, 3-6 that the lawsuit was absurd, dangerous, and should not have made it to SCOTUS level, and 6-3 looking forward to passing it next year.
Oops! Clarence Thomas forgot to mention a few more private jet trips his old billionaire buddy Harlan Crow gave him. Don’t worry, Clarence will never reinburse, recuse, or regret anything.
The House Gop had its “Take Your Poopy Bawling Baby To Work Day” yesterday, which many in the media call the most pleasant day in DC since early 2021. Some people just hold their petulant ugly brats to a different standard, I guess. And yet, maybe not every Republican is proud of their little felon.
Felon Donald Trump shouldn't be allowed to hold a liquor license, but Donald explains that he only owns the various LLCs who own the company who owns the license… Donald Trump has now illegally owned a firearm for about a week longer than Hunter Biden did.
Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that eight congressional candidates were attempting to get on the Michigan primary ballot using fake signatures.
KITM Senior Sports Correspondent Darwin Darko reports that male sports analysts somehow know less about women’s sports than they know about men’s. Meanwhile, the MLB, sponsored by online sports betting at stadiums and all media, will suspend players for a 20 buck bet, but finds the need to supply bodyguards to protect players from irate gamblers.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin hauled in another Raft o’ Stories™ for us, but the big news surfaced while we were on the air. FDA v. Hippocratic Alliance was decided by SCOTUS to lack standing. It was mostly wingnut target practice, so expect more potshots later.
Southern Baptists voted to oppose in vitro fertilization, but rejected a tighter ban on women pastors. They better pick up the pace on their traditional fertilizing, if they don’t want to go out like the Shakers. For now, they butter the Gop’s bread, so Republicans will say or do anything to oppose Democratic IVF protections.
In their spare time, while not smoking vapes and Dems on the baseball field, Republicans got their lulz in by holding Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt. Dave Joyce was the only Gop not laughing.
God is on Israel’s side, and also on the Gazans’, which is the reason that their war shall go on for all eternity. The only path to peace is to give God a little time off the field.
In France, President Emmanuel Macron wants to give citizens one more chance to fix things.
Rugged individualist Clarence Thomas’ “son” grew up to be as ruggedly individualistic as the old man, it’s just that he didn’t choose billionaires for his circle of friends.
Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor returns with the news that Michigan state House Speaker Lee Chatfield and his wife finally ran out of expense accounts and charity funds to drain, and are soon to have their room and board supplied to them by the state.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin haul in the humongous hump day Raft O’ Stories™.
Today is the second Wednesday that Donald Trump has been a convicted felon. It’s the first Wednesday for Hunter Biden, which is all exactly how Hunter and Joe rigged it, probably in league somehow with Steven KG Bannon.
Another Wednesday means more primary news! Thirstiest member of Congress, Nancy Mace lives to be thirsty again. Sherrod Brown holds the blue in reddening Ohio, where Democrats still lose, but they lose well. Ohio, not taking any chances, purged 150 thousand voters.
Overall, President Joe Biden leads in the fundamentals, which is almost as good as leading in the polls. Most Americans won’t vote for anyone who supports banning abortion, IVF, or contraception, unless they are lied to, or lie to themselves prior to voting. Let’s hope that double haters don’t hate both sides equally. If only Joe can communicate the reality of the economy to people not that into reality.
Perhaps a draft will snap those voters out of their slumber.
Has Sam Alito told you today that you can kiss his ass? Or does Martha-Ann need to embroider that on a flag for you?

Some unexpected international headline news today: Dr. Saulos Chilima, the Vice President of Malawi died in a plane crash.
Closer to home, Congress was returning for another routine work week… if you can call the WIPPES Act mere routine! But I’ll tell you what is becoming routine. And that’s Nancy Mace becoming an unmanageable boor.
Donald Trump, of course, is already an unmanageable boor, and a bore. So he decided to liven things up with a truly moronic diatribe about… electric boats, maybe? And sharks. And how you would definitely die in an electric boat, because science tells you that boats will sink if you put heavy things on them, like batteries.
Speaking of Trump, Merrick Garland has had enough of the nonsense about the Department of Justice, and so he has written down that it should stop. Thank you.
As we all know, conservatives have been going hog wild with their judge shopping. Of course, that option is (sort of) available to more liberal legal activists, too. That is, unless conservatives don’t want it to be.
Lordy, there are Alito tapes. Both Alitos.
These f-in’ guys! Joan McCarter remains on point: someone oughta do something about this!
And they might, if they weren’t so busy with the WIPPES Act. But that something would probably be the fruitless pursuit of… the guy who just wrote that Republicans should cut ths $#*t.