What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

During the pandemic, most moms hit a breaking point. All of the increased labor of childcare, at-home teaching, and caregiving seemed to land mostly, or only, on their plates. It was a clarifying moment for many of us that things simply could not continue as they were going—and that perhaps they had been going that way for a long time.
Jessica Calarco is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Wisconsin and the author of the new book HOLDING IT TOGETHER: How Women Became America's Safety Net. In this interview, discusses the forces that place the burden of childcare and domestic labor on women.
Jessica, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

how societal expectations around motherhood have always pointed toward a lack of choices

how "mom guilt" is weaponized to ensure women keep doing more than their share

what Jessica calls "DIY society," and why it's a myth


Here's where you can find Jessica:

https://www.jessicacalarco.com

@JessicaCalarco on X

Buy HOLDING IT TOGETHER: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593538128



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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom guilt
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We've both traveled with our extended families over and over again, and have loved the memories we've made together. But different bedtimes, sightseeing styles, and mealtime expectations can lead to unexpected conflict.
Laura in our Facebook group wrote in to say:
"Might be a fun episode before summer: large family vacation traditions. I'm wondering if there are favorite games/foods/tips/funny stories on going away with lots of members of your non-immediate family."
As usual, our listeners responded with great tips for maintaining both organization and sanity when vacationing with extended family, and in this episode we discuss them all, including:

Which conversations to have ahead of time—and which conversations never to have at all

Systems for family vacations that don't fall on one person (or one gender) to execute

Limiting your non-negotiables as a nuclear family ahead of time


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, vacations, family vacations, vacations with kids
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This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.
In this episode we discuss all the reasons we’ve felt like failures as mothers, why we’re never as hard on others as we are on ourselves, and what we have done to mitigate these feelings of failure in our own lives.  
“I feel like I’m failing at parenting fairly often,” our listener Becky wrote when she suggested this topic. If it makes you feel any better, Becky, you’ve got plenty of company. These self-inflicted guilt trips are nearly universal among mothers.
But why? Is it the 24/7 nature of the job? Is it the admittedly high stakes that come from nurturing small humans towards successful adulthoods? Is it our parenting culture, which tells us no matter how much we do, how hard we try, there’s another mother doing it just a little bit better?
We think it’s all of the above. We also think talking to other mothers is the best solution. Thanks for being part of our mothering community.
Here’s links to research and other writing on this topic discussed in this episode:
Regan Long for Motherly: To the Mom Who Feels Like She's Failing: You're Not. Promise.
Heather Marcoux for Motherly: 66% of working parents feel like they're failing—but the system is actually failing them
Doug Parker for Babble: I Feel Like I'm Failing This Parenting Thing Every Damn Day
Denise Rowden for Empowering Parents: “I Feel Like a Failure as a Parent.” How to Turn That Hopeless Feeling Around

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom guilt
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What do women's diaries tell us that's not in the history books? What has changed about women's experiences in the last 400 years, and what remains frustratingly familiar? Historian Sarah Gristwood, author of SECRET VOICES: A YEAR OF WOMEN'S DIARIES, explains the common threads she found among the stories women felt they could tell only to themselves.
Sarah and Amy discuss:

The most common emotion expressed in all the diaries contained in this book

The meaning of a diary as a secret-keeper, as a historical record, and sometimes both

Whether our social media posts and Substacks today can serve the same purpose—and where they fall short


Here's where you can find Sarah:

http://sarahgristwood.com/

Buy SECRET VOICES: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781849948159



We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
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mom friends, diary, journal, history, herstory, feminism, women's voices
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When we have a kid who just doesn't seem to fit in—or who is a loner, if a fairly content one—it can be hard for parents. But putting our own anxiety about it aside, and getting clear on the lagging skills and social cues that may not quite be in place, is the best way to help kids get on a better path. This episode is full of specific and useful advice!
Amy and Margaret discuss:

all the reasons kids can have trouble making (and keeping) friends

five "unwritten social rules" that some kids take longer to comprehend

how figuring out the specific issues at play can lead to the most useful solutions


Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Jamie Howard, et. al for Child Mind Institute: Kids Who Need a Little Help to Make Friends


The Sue Larkey podcast: Promoting Social Understanding – Social Scripts


Gwen Dewar for Parenting Science: How to help kids make friends: 12 evidence-based tips


Christine Comizio for U.S. News Health: Understanding Kids' Friendship Struggles: Common Causes and Solutions


Lexi Walters Wright for Understood.org: 5 “unwritten” social rules that some kids miss


Andrew M.I. Lee for Understood.org: Why some kids have trouble making friends


ADHD Dude: "How to Help Your ADHD Child Keep Friends"



We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, friendships, making friends
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This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.
Fess up: everyone's got a Bad Mom Moment. Or twelve.
We tend to hold these things really close, our shame rooted in deep certainty that no other mother has ever temporarily forgotten their baby in the toy aisle at Target.
Guess what? You're not alone. Here are some of our listeners' Bad Mom Moments– and more than a few of our own.
Our guest this week is Arianna Bradford, the brains behind The NYAM (Not Your Average Mom) Project, a website dedicated to helping parents -- moms especially -- celebrate the person they are outside of their role as a parent. Her book, SHAME ON YOU: BIG TRUTHS FROM A BAD MOM, is a hilarious collection of parenting essays that focus as much on a mother's mental health as they do on kids, and how very, very strange they are.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,
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