The Otis Advisory Pat Fant aka Uncle Otis

Maybe it's time to bring back Pom Poms on gym socks. Those little fuzzy balls on the back of a girl’s socks told you she was fun, and probably drove a Charger. What else do you need to know? So where are the pom poms now? Well they’re hard to find. Gone the way of the buffalo. That’s just not right! With over 100 different genders now to pick from in the New America, Pom Poms on socks can be be for everybody – guys too. That's double the market! Even the Army will buy them to show how waked up they are. So two wrongs do make a right! Who’s sorry now? Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

When Hunter was little his mama used to take him to the store for the Husky-size jeans, since everything young Hunter could get his hands on went in his mouth. “You’re overwhelming your outfit again – we’ll have to go up another size,” said mama. Little Hunter was in Husky Jeans all the way through high school until one day he discovered the weight loss benefits of speed. That's when he traded in those Huskey jeans for a new bag man uniform and started to market he papa to the highest bidder. “This is so easy,” thought Hunter, “and mama doesn’t have to know!” Then, one day Hunter lost his laptop, and everything changed. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

No more Boy Scouts for you. The campfire and whittling business is over. Time now to climb into a nice chiffon outfit and drive your edible electric car to the mall for some more Botox. But Boy Scouts was fun while it lasted. Passing around that can of shoestring potatoes with Worchester sauce was how boys learned to wipe their hands on their pants. What are we supposed to do now? With over a hundred different genders to pick from, what’s the point anymore! It's another way to get boneless and skinless even faster in the New America. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

You’re a lot easier to control when you’re numb and dumb. So enjoy some more morphine drip before sending 'Lil Whiskers out in the back yard to pick off another tank-full of watts from that electricity tree. Yes, now you're powered by rainbows! It's like when you're dead, you don't know you're dead. Same thing happens when you're stupid. So bring your arrest warrant to early voting and the little man will fill all that in for you. Wait, is that the desert cart? More Universal Foolishness from the Discount Think Tank. Hear podcast ~ Wash hands.

The roving bands of marauding youth now rioting outside the window have a long list of DEMANDS for you - a shopping list of what they need delivered up to Angry Village. Remember, these are special children who don’t eat olive loaf or burnt weenie sandwich. Hell no! You need to think vegeterrible and gluten free, you pig. So get a move on, rioting is hard work. Why do you think Mexico now has a “Remain in America” program – probably until they can stand to look at us again. The denutification of America – Extreme Makeover Edition. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Who would have thought that winding up in a pot of boiling water somewhere in New Guinea would turn into a campaign line eighty years later? VOTE FOR JOE - CANNIBALS ATE HIS UNCLE! It’s damn creative, I’ll give ‘em that. Just falls right off the bone. You’ve even got a little primitive culture going on there to help satisfy the lunatic fringe at Columbia. It’s a race to the bottom by the candlelight of burning tires. Mono-Clonal just means 1 clown! And this one’s about to roll back in and then hand the keys to Gang Green. That’s when this cannibal thing really grows teeth. Otis Explains. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands