Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast Idiots On Parade

This week, Stu McCallister joins the idiots.



00:00 Introductions

00:50 Hunter Biden

07:19 Transgender Issues

18:35 The Dumbest People on the Planet 

25:52 Elon Musk

31:20 Feeding the Troll



—Our favorite former addict who slept with his dead brother’s widow—Hunter Biden—was found guilty of lying on a form.



Of all the things he’s done, this is what the Republicans got him for. 



(Which, given it was a gun charge, is ironic.)



For funnies, we discuss his infamous laptop photos. If you haven’t seen them, you should remedy that.



Side note: nathan tells a quick story about a friend of his who actually didn’t lie on his medical intake form one day.



Where did he tell the truth? Tune in and find out.



—The American College of Pediatricians is a neat title, but in fact is basically a group of religious zealots who hate women, and gay people.



That didn’t stop Fox News from writing a fairly balanced article on the stance the ACP took on trans children.



But, since reasonable discourse is frowned upon, they had to write a click-bait headline in order to spread confirmation bias.



Yay, lazy public who doesn’t read past the headline!



Side note: nathan lectures Jake on the wonders of Top Secret, the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker follow up to Airplane!



—Look no more, nathan has found the dumbest people on the planet. 



We always feel sorry for people who are taken in a scam… Until we read about the scam, and then wonder just how dumb the people were for falling for it.



Well, Kelli and Michael Regan, of North Texas, managed to spend $20,000 in order to not get the dog of their dreams.



How?


By being amazingly dimwitted.



—If Hunter Biden is one of our favorite people, it’s no secret that Elon Musk is the polar opposite of that title.



Instead of running SpaceX and Tesla to new highs, he’s running Twitter into the ground. What does Tesla have to say about that? They want to give him $50 billion in order to save the company.



Up is down, down is up, and nothing makes sense.



—What happens when someone less-than-smart comments on a podcast? They get made fun of on the next episode!



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions

00:27 The Tattooed Murderer

08:41 Trust Jesus Crash

14:30 Trump = Guilty

15:30 Alex Jones

27:16 Fani Willis

34:41 Biden Border Crisis!



—Alleged (or accused) murderer Wade Wilson (you read that right; the dude literally has Deadpool’s name) is awash in face tattoos. His lawyers fought for his right to cover them using makeup while on trial.



Why?
Because little things like swastika’s on a face might lead the jury to, IDK, consider him guilty.



Considering his own dad says he did it, I’d be less worried about tattoo bias than parental testimony.



—Oh, the irony… A recreational vehicle (or, RV for short… also a horrible Robin Williams movie, God rest his soul) covered bumper-to-bumper in pro-Trump banners, crashed while en route to a MAGA rally.



“Big deal,” you say?



Well, the humor is: it also had a big old “Trust Jesus” sticker on it.



Well, dummies, I think Jesus just sent you a message. 



You gonna listen? 



—Donald J. Trump was found guilty of 34 counts of… fraud? Technically, “the falsification of business records.” 



Oof, what a mouthful. 



Anyway, he’s not going to jail.



But, if he DID go to jail, the Secret Service would have to go with him.



Oh, the amusement.



—Ya gotta love it when bad things happen to deserving people. Alex Jones is liquidating his company in order to pay families of the Sandy Hook Massacre. 



Will InfoWars still be a thing when this is all said and done?



Who knows?



Hopefully not, but there are horrible people out there, they’re rich, and they’re evil. They might protect him.



Either way, this is a small nudge in the right direction.



Hopefully he goes away, now.



—Serious question: is there anyone dumber than Fani Willis? The case was a gimme. You have the guilty party, on tape, making the phone call and trying to subvert the election. All you had to do was not sleep with the co-counsel…
And you blew it.



Nicely done, Fani.
Idiot.



(Also included: a really smart viewer comment.)



—Joe Biden signed Executive Orders regarding the border with Mexico. Did Republicans, who have been screaming about the border, celebrate? Of course not. It’s a political football for them. They run around with it, but they don’t want any touchdowns scored.



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, the Idiots are joined by Brandon Wein.



00:00 Introductions

00:27 Jennifer Lopez

02:51 Donald Trump

15:27 American Airlines

26:56 Tesla

32:18 Fontana Police Department

35:45 Texas Power Grid



—Jennifer Lopez had to cancel her tour due to low ticket sales. I mean, to spend time with her family. Right. Like anyone believes that. 



Sorry, Jen, the arenas were empty.



—The former president was found guilty on all 34 counts he’d been charged with. May the world keep turning with no one noticing. Sure, the media calls it a big deal, but who really cares?



—Last week, we discussed the fact that scumbag lawyers for American Airlines were trying to blame a 9-year-old girl for the fact one of their flight attendants put a hidden camera in a public restroom.



Well, God be praised, something “good” happened: the bad press got American Airlines to fire that legal team. 



Yes, they only did it because of press, but they did it.



Now, may those lawyers rot in hell.



Side note: for reasons unknown, we travel down paths of prison reform, the death penalty, Danny Masterson, and Ashton Kutcher. 



Also, spoiler alert: nathan gives away the entire plot (and twist) of Dead Man Walking, the Sean Penn/Susan Sarandon film.



—A crybaby named Michelle Lewis wrote an exceptionally long article on how difficult it was to trade in her old Tesla for a new one.



Hey, Michelle…



Maybe walk away and buy a different car.



Side note: A Big Mac Meal supposedly costs $18, except nobody can seem to replicate that. Inflation and fast food are discussed.



—Stop me if you’ve heard this one… A man walks into a police station; “Hey, my dad is missing!”



Seventeen hours of non-stop interrogation later, he confesses to murdering his father.



But, wait for it, the dad is alive and well, and at an airport, and going on a trip!



Well, that’s what happened to Thomas Perez Jr., and now he’s going to get almost a million dollars because of it.


Sadly, that million will come from taxpayers, not the Fontana PD retirement fund.



Anyway, what an insane story.



—The Texas power grid continues to suck. When the outside temperature went up, air conditioners went on, so the power company decided to raise prices 1,600%. 


Because, you know, “Private industry rules.”



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com



#news #politics #jenniferlopez #donaldtrump

This week, the Idiots are joined by Gerry Grothues.



00:00 Introductions

00:48 Viewer Comment

05:09 Harrison Butker 2.0

12:49 Lawyers

19:50 Science!

25:00 Britney, Freed

31:16 Israel/Palestine



—We forgot to get to this week, but a viewer wanted to know our thoughts on January 6 when compared to BLM riots and ANTIFA nonsense. He didn’t ask about the idiot students protesting the Israel/Palestine conflict, but we threw it in for fun anyway.


—Harrison Butker is doubling down on the dumb, sexist and homophobic comments he made while giving a commencement speech, and our response is…



“Yeah, what did you think he was going to do?”



There seems to be an idea the internet outrage machine has that if they pout and throw big enough fits, people will have realizations.



Nope!

Butker was raised to be a backwards-thinking religious nutbag. That doesn’t get changed by yelling at him.


The best way to put it is via a meme I saw: “You think CTE is bad? Try having a bible slammed into your head from birth.”



Yup.



—Lawyers are the worst, we can all agree on that. But did anyone think one would stoop so low as to argue, in a court filing, that a nine-year-old girl, who was subject to a disgusting peeping tom pervert of an American Airlines employee/flight-attendant/male-stewardess, was at fault for not realizing there was a hidden camera in the airplane toilet?



I mean, that’s a far throw for even a scumbag lawyer.



But, that’s what’s being argued. 



A nine-year-old girl found a hidden camera in a public restroom, her family is suing (not that they have a right to), and the lawyers are saying, “Well, she should have known there’d be a camera in there, taking pictures of her.”



It’s times like that that make me wish I believed in hell, because those lawyers (and anyone at the airline and insurance company who signed off on it) should absolutely spend eternity there.



—Men have microplastics in their testicles. 



I’ll repeat that.



Men have microplastics (and nanoplastics, apparently) in their testicles.



How do we know this? 



Well, scientists have been cutting open the testes of cadavers and looking.



And they’ve been comparing the plastic in human testes with the plastic in dog testes.



WHO FIRST THOUGHT TO DO THIS?


What scientist was sitting around, and went, “Hey, you know what we should do…”



Well, I suppose it was either that, or becoming a serial killer. So… thanks for choosing science. Weirdo.



—Remember the “Free Britney!” movement? Well, she’s free, and… She is not well. Dancing with knives, divorcing, again, and apparently chasing her ex with an axe.



Should she have remained under a conservatorship? 



Probably.



But, she’s an adult, albeit an incredibly stupid one, and she can act how she wants.



The rest of us can just grab our popcorn and watch.



—What? This conflict is still going on? But stupid university kids with no life experience or historical awareness protested! I thought that was supposed to change everything!



In today’s round of “Oh just fucking nuke one another and be done with it:” Ireland, Norway, and Spain have all agreed to recognized a Palestinian State. 



As stated in the video, this is a complex issue.
The Palestinians were offered statehood in the past, but turned it down. Should we celebrate the idea they’ve been beaten into submission to the point they’re willing to finally accept it? Or, is giving it now, given the actions of October 7, 2023, rewarding shit behavior?



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com



#britneyspears #lawyers #news #currentevents #politics #humor

This week, the Idiots are joined by Wayne Russell, of Open Mic Pain.



00:00 Welcome!

00:44 Harrison Butker

08:10 The Dali Crew

16:44 Puff Daddy

22:10 David Copperfield

25:13 Gordon Black

29:31 Steve Bannon



—Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker said dumb things. He’s obviously a dumb person. Why does that outrage people? “Oh no, a sexist and homophobic person spoke his mind!” Isn’t it a good thing to know who the sexist, homophobic neanderthals are? 



Plus, as Jake rightly points out: he was speaking at a religious college. Everything Butker said is probably part of their backwards curriculum. 



—Hey, remember when that cargo ship knocked down a bridge in Baltimore? Nah, me neither.  It was big news for a couple days, though, right? Well, here we are weeks and weeks later… and the crew has been sitting on the ship this entire time, trapped and bored in the Baltimore Harbor! Who knew? Not us, we’ve moved on to the next few sensationalistic stories. 



—Oh boy… Sean Puff Daddy P. Diddy Combs is a piece of garbage. That’s all there is to it. I mean, we always knew he was a talentless hack who could cobble together unlistenable songs by sampling more talented artists, but whoa. He’s also an abusive douche who should be in jail.



(Prosecutors say he won’t be charged, because of the statute of limitations. Yay.)



But, that aside, knowing he’s an abusive jerk who belongs in jail, why does Fox News think we should hear what celebrities think of the newly released Puff Daddy/P. Diddy Sean Combs video?



Jake has ideas…



—nathan is hung up on terminology here… The news wrote the phrase, “Celebrated magician David Copperfield.”



Celebrated?



Really?
Well, Wayne and Jake think so, and they make a fairly compelling case for it: no basic rabbit-out-of-a-hat fella is getting invited to Jeffrey Epstein’s island.



—Staff Sergeant Gordon Black is an interesting fella. Stationed in South Korea, he met a Russian woman, and, being really smart, got into a relationship with her. No thoughts of espionage, no wondering whether or not this was a good idea…
Even better, he apparently stayed with her after a physical altercation where she stabbed him.



Welp, he’s in jail in Russia, now. Who could have seen this coming?



(Everyone. Everyone saw it coming.)



—Trump vs. Biden is the rematch no one wanted. And I get it, nobody really wants to vote for Biden. It’s literally, “But look at the alternative.”
Well, now there’s a real reason to vote Biden: let’s get Steve Bannon put in jail, and left there. 



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Welcome!

00:20 Netflix Censors Reality

04:25 Okinawa Air Force

06:14 Beef, It’s What’s Grown in a Lab

15:40 RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm

20:30 Kristi Noem

25:04 Helping the Homeless

29:16 The Taylor Swift Law



—Kim Kardashian was booed at the Roast of Tom Brady. Was it because she did a horrible job, or simply because she’s a horrible person? Doesn’t matter, because Netflix edited out the negative feedback she received. Why? Jake has thoughts, and they make a lot of sense.



—Interlude: nathan tells a quick story about how he ruined a big surprise Officer’s Wives were excited about. It’s hard to believe The Bachelorette is still a thing, but man… that first season was gangbusters.



—The future is here, ladies and gentlemen: scientists are growing meat in labs… But, NOT IN FLORIDA!



(All caps = serious business.)


That’s right, Ron DeSantis, failed candidate for president and wearer of Ken Doll boots, signed a law that took lab grown meat off the table in America’s dangling wiener. Republicans say they’re the party of “Freedom” and “Individual rights” and “Free Market,” yet more and more often that seems to involve an asterix.



(*Freedom and Individual rights do not apply to things Republicans don’t like, especially women’s healthcare.)



—The world makes sense again… RFK Jr. had a worm eating his brain. No wonder he says so many idiotic things.



—Jake and nathan have a new hero: South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem. What a magnificent politician. Jussie Smollett could’ve used her in his corner. She’s shooting animals, lying about meeting politicians… and all the while, looking like a psychotic member of a Real Housewives show.



—Sanai Graden is a good person, who tried to do a good thing. She tried helping a homeless fella, and raised $400,000 for him. Unfortunately, the dude disappeared, most likely due to issues with mental health and/or addiction.



We tend to glorify the homeless in America; we pretend all they need is a little nudge in the right direction, and they’d be all good. Sadly, that isn’t the case in a majority of instances. 



—Ticketmaster is the worst. Full stop. They allow bots to buy all the best seats (some suspect the own the bots, and by the seats themselves in order to pull a better profit off resale sites), and they add fees up the wazoo to every purchase.



Well, a legislator in Minnesota had enough, and did something about it. In a good first step toward what should be a federal law, the Taylor Swift law is designed to protect consumers. 



Hopefully it works.



(Sidebar: nathan discusses getting reamed by a rental car company in Costa Rica.)



Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.



Tune in and get your giggle on.



Find Jake at @jakevevera



Find nathan at nathantimmel.com



Lab Tech photo by Artem Podrez, via Pexels