Pheverdreams Kraftsman Pheverdreams

I blame you for what’s happened to my brain.

The countless lies you’ve told me during our previous marriage, words uttered with sincerity and conviction, while you knew their empty truths.

The whiplash of these lies still resonate within me.

They entrap my judgement, skew my reality for every woman that came after you.

I try to break free, look at what’s in front of me and give the situation the benefit of the doubt.

Yet the remembered pain, scabs from a broken heart, and a sense of self-preservation reaches its hand from the grave to pull me down.

There I am lost, in darkness.

Pulled down and buried alive, I get to relive the moments when I knew something wasn’t right.

You denied my feelings, reassured me I misunderstood and misinterpreted what was going on.

While you masterfully gaslighted me, my brain was pickled with the brine of untruths.

I hate how the putrid corps of your lies still pulls me down today.

Today my brain failed me.

My heart retracted, blood thinned, and my mouth spoke words of fear rather than confidence.

I was the man I don’t want to be for my wife.

I pray that I can quickly discover the grave I’ve been pulled into and dig myself out before suffocating.