9 episodes

The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Heartless Knaves Martin Vaux

    • Fiction

The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked

    Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked

    The first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, a young grave-robber, does the midnight bidding of Father Nikodemus, a hoary old priest with a penchant for alchemy, trickery, and long-planned insurrection.
    Expect lashing rain, thunder, lightning, a flooded plague pit full of corpses, and the inner thoughts of a grumpy horse.
    The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
    Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
    Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
    If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
    If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
    If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
    For we are The Heartless Knaves.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 25 min
    Chapter 2: A Woman's Work

    Chapter 2: A Woman's Work

    The second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we meet Sally, who, dressed as a washerwoman, sneaks into a very important castle to get up to some well-planned mischief.
    Cue a little bit of magic, some tip-top larceny, several guards having the wool pulled over their eyes, and a touch of light-to-moderate murder...
    The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
    Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
    Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
    If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
    If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
    If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
    For we are The Heartless Knaves.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 30 min
    Chapter 3: Cheat The Worms

    Chapter 3: Cheat The Worms

    The third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, Sally and Father Nikodemus join Nanny, a Grand Mother Superior, to do a spot of make do and mend.
    Expect a few toots, a little self-flagellation, top-drawer needlework, lots of bewitched leeches, and the resurrection of a pair of our key players...
    The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
    Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
    Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
    If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
    If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
    If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
    For we are The Heartless Knaves.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 41 min
    Chapter 4: A Thousand Words

    Chapter 4: A Thousand Words

    The fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which a painting from a foreign court makes its way to the Grey Keep, enabling Diesirae, the Pale Princess herself, to finally lay eyes on her betrothed.
    Expect a seedy painter, a silly king, a whole host of new maybe goodies, maybe baddies, and the introduction of the novel's title character...
    The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
    Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
    Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
    If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
    If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
    If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
    For we are The Heartless Knaves.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 20 min
    Chapter 5: The Hand That's Dealt

    Chapter 5: The Hand That's Dealt

    The fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny provides lunch, Nikodemus lays down some groundrules, and Silkin and Rooks get a little bit of clarity.
    Expect Christopher being afraid, Sally taking things in her stride (and doing a bit more stabbing), religious people being shifty, and irreligious people being shiftier still.
    And, of course, some mutilation...
    The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
    Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
    Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
    If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
    If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
    If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
    For we are The Heartless Knaves.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 35 min
    Chapter 6: Paint The Town

    Chapter 6: Paint The Town

    The sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we reconnect with Marco, guard at the Grey Keep, who's been given the night off...
    Expect some detective work, several sex workers, pie, gravy, and a little bit of smut.
    Plus, a rather gribbly monster...
    The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
    Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
    Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
    If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
    If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
    If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
    For we are The Heartless Knaves.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    • 42 min

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