1 hr 21 min
Tana Kiefer - Breaking the Cycle of Abuse Distasteful Conversations
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- True Crime
Tana Kiefer lives life deliberately, thoughtfully, and with purpose. She is determined to raise five children who are resilient and kind, and for whom the cycle of abuse has ended. Tana endured 15 years of domestic violence in the form of psychological torment, gaslighting, and coercive control. She became an expert in keeping the peace, doing whatever was necessary to protect her children and herself from a volatile, abusive person.
Tana shares with us a simple truth: So much abuse is not physical. California is one state to recognize the damage of coercive control, and is in process of passing legislation to make it a criminal offense (SB 1141). We still have a long way to go before that abuse is criminalized as it should be. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence estimates 95% of abusers use tactics of psychological abuse on their victims.
One of the most important lessons from Tana is about planning your escape from your abuser. For a year, she ferried clothes, documents, photos to a safe place in anticipation of the day when she would get away. Leaving wasn't easy - it never is - but Tana had prepared herself logistically for the fight to freedom.
Our conversation concludes with Tana sharing a beautiful poem written daughter, an example of the hope that comes from a generation raised with the language and the knowledge to seek healthy relationships.
Tana has read extensively in her recovery from abuse, and recommends these resources:
- Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahidi Arabi (2017)
- Unfu*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop (2016)
- Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie (2015)
Tana Kiefer lives life deliberately, thoughtfully, and with purpose. She is determined to raise five children who are resilient and kind, and for whom the cycle of abuse has ended. Tana endured 15 years of domestic violence in the form of psychological torment, gaslighting, and coercive control. She became an expert in keeping the peace, doing whatever was necessary to protect her children and herself from a volatile, abusive person.
Tana shares with us a simple truth: So much abuse is not physical. California is one state to recognize the damage of coercive control, and is in process of passing legislation to make it a criminal offense (SB 1141). We still have a long way to go before that abuse is criminalized as it should be. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence estimates 95% of abusers use tactics of psychological abuse on their victims.
One of the most important lessons from Tana is about planning your escape from your abuser. For a year, she ferried clothes, documents, photos to a safe place in anticipation of the day when she would get away. Leaving wasn't easy - it never is - but Tana had prepared herself logistically for the fight to freedom.
Our conversation concludes with Tana sharing a beautiful poem written daughter, an example of the hope that comes from a generation raised with the language and the knowledge to seek healthy relationships.
Tana has read extensively in her recovery from abuse, and recommends these resources:
- Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahidi Arabi (2017)
- Unfu*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop (2016)
- Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie (2015)
1 hr 21 min