Minion Death Cult Alexander Edward

TODAY: Mark Wahlberg and Clint Eastwood decide to form their own NON-WOKE Hollywood… according to viral misinformation campaigns on Facebook. 
A local news channel covers this trend of putting “satirical” red meat in front of right-wing audiences to get clicks, and conservatives attack the news outlet for shaming “free-thinkers.”
PLUS: NFL kicker Harrison Butler gives an Andrew Tate-style commencement speech about how society is making men gay and how most of the graduating women are “probably” fantasizing about being housewives and mothers. (100% fact-checked by Patriots)
FINALLY: Racists freak out about a (historically accurate) black samurai in the new Assassin’s Creed video game. Is this the historical realism we’ve come to expect from a game about teleporting into your ancestor’s brains to get a magical staff from Pythagoras??
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TODAY we’re talking about the killing of Robert Fortson, a Black US Airman, inside his own home while armed with a legal handgun. We watch the right’s unified front against BLM splinter as body cam footage shows Mr. Fortson pointing the gun down when he is shot.
ALSO: Two Biden staffers resign amid his support for Israel’s war on Gaza, and we go to the Washington Post comment section to see what the world’s smuggest liberals have to say about it.
FINALLY: It’s the incredible story of a Zionist college crusader who was forced into the pungent embrace of cheese addiction by campus Palestine groups. Oh, Brie-have! (Austin Powers)
Home Front- Overtime
Tzompantli- Tlayohualli
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TODAY: Alex encounters two separate MDC style coworkers in his UPS facebook groups using dead coworkers to promote their awful, reactionary politics. Let’s see how this one plays out
PLUS: Terrace K Williams has $25k stolen from him (?) but won’t stoop to naming the guy who did it (??). We investigate.
FINALLY: We look at the objects of two bizarre instances of nostalgic fascism: Sixpence None The Richer’s “Kiss Me,” and Alien Ant Farm’s cover of “Smooth Criminal.”
Strong Men (Dawson) create good times (Dawson’s Creek).
Niko B - it's not litter if you bin it
Jack Johnson- Flake
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TODAY: We catch up with Kristi Noem and her curious attempt to dog-kill her way into Trump’s VP slot. 
We look at the bizarre new biography in which she brags about killing a hunting-dog-in-training and falsely claims to have stared down Kim Jung Un. Then we look at the people who still want her as VP.
ALSO: The woke are SILENCING boys by changing the name of Boy Scouts of America to “Scouting America.” PRAGER U NEEDS YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO PROTECT BOYS.
We look at the reaction to the (old) news of co-ed and female scout troops, and learn about gender science from Prager U commentators. We mostly just can’t believe how miserable these people sound.
Eric Indigo- Decorated Vet
Four Tet- Skater
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Today we find out what it’s like to be Tom MacDonald as lesser (zionist) rappers try to come for the crown.
We listen to the new Macklemore track, celebrate how direct and effective it is with its radical messaging but lament the fact that more mainstream artists aren’t doing this.
The backlash to Macklemore’s pro-palestine, anti-zionist, anti-police, and pro-student protestors song “Hind’s Hall” takes us everywhere, from boomer Facebook to liberal Huffington Post, to zionist novelty rappers bringing portable speakers into campus protests to spit rhymes about how their families died in the ovens. Bars!
Big Black - Shotgun
RIP Steve Albini
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Today we’re covering the pro-Palestine campus protests again, asking hard-hitting questions like “How would you feel if the protestors supported bad things instead?”
We’re also shaming the cowardly universities who agreed to negotiate with student protestors, while the most charismatic Israelis available demand the US defund these public schools as a show of solidarity with the ethnostate.
We also report on “a black man who was assaulted because the protestors thought he was jewish.” We watch his fox news appearance, his insanely annoying tik tok of the supposed incident, and determine if his story checks out (lol)
 
Kendrick Lamar- Not Like Us
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