#158 Facing Fears and Finding Joy in Life Through Discomfort Marta on the Move Podcast

Fear– An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. We are not immune to fear. It comes to us like waves and is usually unwelcome. There are global fears such as the war in Ukraine, global warming, food shortages, death. Death of a loved one, or our own amount of time on this spinning globe. I will touch on some of that later, but today I want to tackle some fears that we ourselves can have control over to allow us to stretch outside our comfort zones, try new things, and find peace and joy in our lives.
Fear stems from uncertainty and doubt. How do we face it? We have to sit with discomfort.
“Never be afraid of not knowing, find out”
Discomfort- make (someone) feel uneasy, anxious, or embarrassed
The internet has become something that has made us more afraid than ever and extremely comfortable being more than an arms length away from coming face to face with our discomfort.
Discomfort is why most of us never face our fears or step outside of our comfort zones. Think about it. Who wants to feel uneasy, anxious or embarrassed… nobody. The problem is when we avoid these feelings we create a bubble of safety around us that isolates us and keeps us fixed in our habits, patterns and zone of comfort. Let’s look at an example of this.
You get invited to a party, and at first you have every intention of going. You knew what you were going to wear, what to bring. You looked forward to seeing some friends you haven’t connected with in a while. The day of the party comes and you suddenly think to yourself. “What if I don’t know anyone there? What if nobody talks to me? Staying home and watching The Durrells in Corfu sounds amazing, I don’t have to go. Nobody will miss me.”
Now, I am not saying that a little couch introvert time isn’t needed by all of us, but I am sure there have been situations where you wanted to attend an event, and discomfort or fear of the unknown held you back.
In order to conquer and face our fear we must push past discomfort. It takes a leap of faith to delve into uncertainty… How do we deal with uncertainty?
“The unknown is just something we don’t know yet.”
This statement is 100 percent fact. Uncertainty is just having doubts about the unknown. Not knowing something gives people anxiety, it fuels self doubt, and ultimately makes them feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.
Think about it. If you know a subject very well, you would be happy to speak about it. Someone gives you a topic you know nothing about, and suddenly you are freaking out. All that is, is you learning about the topic!
How incredibly powerful is that fact?! That you have the power to shed your fears by learning what you don’t know. It is simple, yet something we overlook due to massive amount of distraction. Our minds have power over our joy and happiness, it just takes some discomfort getting there.
Here are some personal examples of this…
I decided to push Phil’s and I’s boundaries this year by signing us up for Improv Comedy Classes. Getting Phil to go was not an easy feat. He was ridiculously upset that I signed us up. He didn’t want to be put on display. When I finally convinced him to go, he was miserable, and extremely anxious the entire two hours before we went, acting like a 10 year old that is being dragged to church. Once we arrived, he was fine. I even caught him smiling a couple times. The second class was the same, only this time I caught him laughing.
Third class he was beginning to loosen up on stage, having more fun with it. Now he looks forward to our classes, and goes to shows every weekend! It is a new hobby he never would have discovered if he wasn’t brave enough to try and learn this new skill, make new friends ands with his discomfort.
He now knows the process. He knows people who are going to be there, and he is more confident because he is starting to understand improv and open up communication with others.
I use Phil becau