Milton's Musings Pratt Milton Datta

THE OLD GUMBIE CAT
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
Her coat is of the tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots.
All day she sits upon the stair or on the steps or on the mat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits—and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
        Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
        And when all the family's in bed and asleep,
        She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep.
        She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice—
        Their behaviour's not good and their manners not nice;
        So when she has got them lined up on the matting,
        She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting.

I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
Her equal would be hard to find, she likes the warm and sunny spots.
All day she sits beside the hearth or on the bed or on my hat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits—and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
        Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
        As she finds that the mice will not ever keep quiet,
        She is sure it is due to irregular diet
        And believing that nothing is done without trying,
        She sets right to work with her baking and frying.
        She makes them a mouse-cake of bread and dried peas,
        And a beautiful fry of lean bacon and cheese.

I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits—and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
        Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
        She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
        To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
        So she's formed, from that lot of disorderly louts,
        A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
        With a purpose in life and a good deed to do—
        And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.

So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers—
On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.

THE NAMING OF CATS
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
    It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
    Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
    All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
    Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
    But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
    A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
    Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
    Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum—
    Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
    And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
    But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
    The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
    Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
        His ineffable effable
        Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

Alphabet Poem by Edward Lear

A     tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood.

B     said, "My Boy, O! do not cry' it cannot do you good!"

C     said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."

D     said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."

E     said, "An Egg beat up in milk would quickly make him well."

F     said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."

G     said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."

H     said, "His Hat should be kept on, keep him from the cold."

I     said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."

J     said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon."

K     said, "A Kangaroo is here,—this picture let him see."

L     said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."

M     said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."

N     said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."

O     said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."

P     said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."

Q     said, "A Quince I recommend,—A Quince, or else a Quail."

R     said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."

S     said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"

T     said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half."

U     said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"

V     said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"

W    said, "Some Whiskey-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"

X     said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"

Y     said, "Some Yeast mised up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"

Z     said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in my little master!

       We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down!

       We will, my little master!

       We think we've all heard quite enough of this sad disaster!"

https://poets.org/poem/courtship-yonghy-bonghy-bo 

 I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough Others may stumble, but not you On hiccough, thorough, laugh, and through. And cork and work and card and ward And font and front and word and sword Well done! And now if you wish, perhaps To learn of less familiar traps, Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird. And dead: it’s said like bed, not bead– For goodness sakes don’t call it deed. Watch out for meat and great and threat, They rhyme with suite and straight and debt. A moth is not a moth in mother, Nor both in bother, broth in brother. And here is not a match for there, And dear and fear for bear and pear. And then there’s dose and rose and lose– Just look them up–and goose and choose, And do and go, then thwart and cart. Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start! A dreadful language? Man alive! I’d mastered it when I was five.

A Wise Old Owl" is an English nursery rhyme