Gajok • 가‪족‬ Jieun and Greg

We recorded our sixth song of the year! And we freaking recorded so early! Today is 16 days before the end of the month! This was the best recording session that we've had so far. I love recording on a Friday. I love recording during the second week of the month. I'm really proud of us for successfully doing this recording, despite the week being difficult for us. And I'm proud of us for recording six songs this year — arguably the most difficult year of my life.

Sidenote: Greg is in this episode eating the weirdest freaking dinner.

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I'm a part of this really cool project, created by St. Clair Detrick-Jules, where immigrants from all over the world share an object that they came to the U.S. with when they immigrated. For my object, I chose my mom's wedding rings. In Korea, at least in my parents' generation and before that, it was customary to give your wife two wedding rings that she would wear together on the same finger. I did some research that I will share on tomorrow's episode! But these rings are precious to me because they became my wedding rings. And 아빠's wedding ring became Greg's. 아빠's cancer, Greg's and my wedding, the pandemic, these rings, and a jewelry store 아저씨 in 한아름, all come together to make a very unique and memorable story about these rings.

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My hands and feet are swelling. My fingers look like Vienna sausages. My rings don't fit anymore, so I've had to reconfigure how I wear my rings. I've pulled out an old ring and started wearing it because it's big enough to fit, when usually it's too big to wear on most of my fingers. The ring is one of my mom's two wedding bands — in Korea, you stack two wedding bands as your wedding ring set.

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This is my first Father's Day without 아빠. Greg and I have made a tentative plan for Father's Day, both honoring him and my dad.

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It took a long time for me to feel comfortable to tell people I was pregnant. It was hard to navigate grieving a death, while creating a life. I had so many complex emotions come up during this grief-pregnancy journey. Also, I remembered the power of slowing down this weekend. When I slow down and look around, I notice everything that's always been there. I see things with new eyes — with clarity. On Saturday, I was amazed by the wind, the trees, the leaves, the sky, and the clouds. I was amazed by the interconnectedness of the world, and how we can't exist without each other.

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I announced my pregnancy via newsletter and Instagram today, and I felt incredibly loved and hugged by all the texts, emails, comments, and messages of kindness and congratulations. Greg and I also had a 삼겹살 party with our friend Aiyana and talked about our families, immigration, and trauma. Today was a really good day. Life is tragic, and it's beautiful, all at once.

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