Another Way Selina Barker

Ooh you are in for a treat this week, because we are diving deep into exploring another way of living with none other than the legendary - one of the leading guides of our time.
If you don’t know Donna, then you just wait - she is the wisest of souls. Fearne Cotton agrees with me and calls her ‘the wisest woman I know’ and Emma Watson says ‘she has helped shape the woman I have become’.
Donna is a therapist, coach and Elder in training who has been working with individuals, couples and groups for over 30 years. She was co-founder of the Bridge Retreat - the power of which is captured beautifully in the documentary Love(d) and author of the book The Bridge as well as Wise Words for Women.
In this episode we dive deep down, right from the start, into a big juicy conversation about life - exploring what Donna means when she talks about the patriarchal trance and how to wake up from it. She explains what Phase 1, 2 and 3 of life are and why so many of us remain stuck in Phase 1 of life. And we explore what it means to become an Elder and how finding your own Elders can be the key to helping you transition into Phase 2 of life where true joy, peace and love are found.
Told you we go deep!
And if you want more of Donna (which I guarantee you will after this episode), these are the three main links for you to get started with:
Website: Deepening Into LifeInstagram: @donnalancsDonna’s newsletter on Substack - sign up here for free
Now sit back and enjoy this episode!
x Selina
🎙Show notes
Here are links and reminders of people, podcasts and courses mentioned in the episode:
Elders that Donna recommends: Anne Lamott, Maya Angelou, Desmond Tutu, Caroline Myss, Eckhart TolleFalling Upwards by Father Richard Rohr is all about the Phase 1 and Phase 2 of life
🎧 Previous podcast episodes with Donna and me:
The day I married myself - listen hereWhy we all need to learn how to grieve - listen here
🌳 The Embers idea Donna mentioned has become a reality - now called Elder Wood - you can find out about it in this instagram post here




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If you or anyone you know is struggling in their relationship then this podcast episode is for you.
In fact, even if you’re not struggling in a relationship right now, but you want to enjoy a long-lasting nourishing relationship, full of love and intimacy, then this episode is also for you.
Because this week we dive deep into the topic of relationships with my special guest, the amazing Relationship Coach, Matthew Pruen.
I first came across Matthew’s work three years ago when I attended a Hoffman Relationship Workshop, run by him and his wife Emma. That weekend workshop was absolutely life changing for me and ever since then, any time a friend or client has been struggling in their relationship, I’ve sent them to Matthew and they’ve all had equally life changing experiences with him.
There is noone I know who shows us another way of approaching love and relationships quite like Matthew and so I was over the moon when he said yes to coming on the podcast.
We explore why so many people seem to be struggling when it comes to relationships, how the Romantic Mythology that dominates our modern-day take on love is setting us up for disappointment in our relationships, why we can get stuck in power struggles for years and what it really takes to create a long-lasting relationship full of trust, love and intimacy.
This episode is so rich with wisdom, powerful insights and practical advice from Matthew. I came away from it having had yet more ‘aha’ moments about relationships and where I was getting sucked back into that Romantic Mythology. I can’t wait to hear what you get from it.
And if you want to find out more about working with Matthew or Emma visit:
matthewpruen.comemmapruen.comretreat.fr


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit livingacreatedlife.substack.com

Are you a woman who works too much? Are you fed up with feeling over-stretched, exhausted and trapped on a treadmill of never-ending to-do lists?
Then this episode of Another Way is dedicated to you and all the women out there who find themselves working too much.
I’m joined by transformational coach, speaker and author, Tamu Thomas, , who is on a mission to show women that there IS another way with her brand new book ‘Women Who Work Too Much’. 
Join us as we unpack why so many women are working too, what’s really keep us stuck in a cycle of 
toxic productivity and what we can do to finally set ourselves free and start designing our lives so that we thrive.
I cannot recommend Tamu’s book more - ‘Women Who Work Too Much’ is out now.
And hit up these links to follow Tamu and find out how you can work with her. 
BUY Women Who Work Too MuchVISIT LiveThreeSixty to find out how you can work with TamuFOLLOW Tamu here on instagramSUBSCRIBE to her newsletter on Substack
As with every episode, I give you a coaching exercise to try at the end. 
Here is the one from today’s episode, inspired by the conversation with Tamu and designed to help you identify what changes you can make in your life right now, that will free you up and have you working less and enjoying life more. 
Step 1: Write down the work activities that make up your day. Start with the work you have to do each day or each week at home. And then write down the activities you have to do each day or each week at work.
Step 2: Read back through the list you’ve just written, marking the activities that you enjoy doing with a heart and the activities that you either don't enjoy doing, or you find you're doing too much with a cross. 
Step 3: Go one by one through the activities that you marked with a cross and for each one, ask yourself how you could take this activity off your plate so you no longer have to do it at all, how you could get help with it if you can't take it off your plate completely, or how you can make it easier or more enjoyable for yourself (I give examples in the episode).
Step 4: Write down a list of activities that fill up your cup, that recharge your batteries and bring you joy. The simple stuff that you can do day to day, everything from having a hot bath to going for a bike ride, to meeting up with friends, to having an early night with a great book.
Step 5: Open up your calendar and book in three of those things over the next seven days, setting a reminder alarm on your phone if you need it.
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please follow and leave a review! 
And if you’re ready to learn how to work less and enjoy your life more, come and check out my Coaching Programmes and how they can help you bring about change in your life and career.
x Selina


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit livingacreatedlife.substack.com

Welcome to…Another Way!
My brand new podcast where I explore and unpack the collective narratives and limiting beliefs that seem to be keeping so many of us trapped on a treadmill of daily grind and exhaustion and stopping us from living the lives we really want to be living. 
Over the next six episodes I’ll be joined by an amazing line-up of guests who are each dedicated to shining a light on the collective narratives that are keeping us stuck, showing us that there is another way and how we can each break free from the traditional beliefs that are holding us back, so that we can finally start to thrive.
And I cannot wait for you to hear this first episode, where we’ll be diving into the topic of SUCCESS - exploring how our traditional beliefs around success can be the very thing keeping us trapped on that treadmill of daily grind and exhaustion.
To help us explore this juicy topic and how to finally break free from our obsession with achievement, I am joined by the amazing Emma Gannon, Sunday Times bestselling non-fiction author, award-winning novelist & creator of popular newsletter The Hyphen.
Emma’s latest book, The Success Myth, has been taking the world by storm and is now, officially, one of my favourite books of all time (if you haven’t already got a copy, treat yourself to one today!)
It is such a powerful book and one that I honestly believe everyone needs to read, because whether you realise it or not we are all deeply entrenched in beliefs around success that are keeping us trapped and holding us back from living the lives we really want to be living. 
And in today’s episode you’ll start to unpack your own beliefs around success, to see which ones might have been holding you back and how to choose new measures of success that will actually help you to thrive.
So, hit play and let’s dive in!
Questions to explore:
When you were growing up how did you view success? What were you raised to believe success looked like? What did a successful person look like to you?  What did they have? What had they achieved?  Where did these images of success come from?How do you think that impacted on you growing up? 
What did it make you think you should be, that you should have, that you should do in life?  Did it have an impact on the choices you made?  Is it still having an impact on you today? Do you compare yourself to those measures of success? And in particular, have you ever found yourself falling short and feeling bad because you haven't achieved that kind of success?  
If you were given permission to create a whole new set of rules for what success looks like in our society, what would those measures of success be?  
This year, for me, success looks like………………………… (fill in the blank)
 Have a go and let me know how you get on!
And then I’ll see you back here next week for the next episode in the series with Tamu Thomas, author of Women Who Work Too Much.
See you then!
X Selina
P.S. If you enjoy this episode then please would you leave me a review on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Reviews make such a big difference and it would absolutely make my day 🤩
P.P.S If you are interested in how my Career Coaching programmes can help you, you can come and check them out over here


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit livingacreatedlife.substack.com