Compassionate Accountability Podcast Nate Regier

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes John Parr, his friend, colleague, thought partner, and sounding board for nearly 20 years. John served in the Royal Navy as an Electronic Engineer, has managed a Substance Abuse Recovery Center, has been a therapist, a corporate consultant, an executive coach, and a professional trainer. He's recognized for his work in communication skills and emotional assertiveness. He's an author of books on these topics and created the Emotional Assertiveness Model, a practical framework to express emotions and build relationships authentically.
What's In This Episode:
How John’s childhood and experience in the Navy formed his philosophy. What is emotional assertiveness and why is it important? What’s the difference between EQ and EI? What gets in the way of emotional assertiveness? Overview of John’s book, Fore-play, Fair-play & Foul-play. What does emotional assertiveness look like in action? Overview of John’s books, trainings, and certification offerings. Key Takeaways:
[3:01] John briefly overviews some of the foundational influences that have shaped his view of life.
[4:35] John talks about his experience managing a Substance Abuse Treatment Center.
[5:18] How did John become interested in the power of effective communication and interpersonal skills?
[7:18] What is emotional assertiveness, and why is it so important?
[9:51] How are emotional assertiveness and intelligence related?
[11:23] What gets in the way of human beings being emotionally assertive?
[14:50] John explains the meaning of fore-play, fair-play, and foul-play.
[19:10] John discusses the core of his book  Fore-play, Fair-play, and Foul-play.
[22:25] Happiness is a core homeostatic emotion, and then there are three other emotions: sad, angry, and afraid. 
[24:03] John provides an example of emotional assertiveness in action.
[29:26] Dr. Nate and John discuss the importance of engaging in conflict to produce results.
[30:41] John confesses he has never had negative client feedback.
[34:45] What is next for John?
Mentioned in this episode:
The Compassion Mindset
Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results, Nate Regier
Visit Next-Element
 
Fore-play, Fair-play, and Foul-play: Emotional Assertiveness, the Happiness Equation John Parr
What’s Love Got to Do with It?: Harnessing the Power of Love in Your Relationships,  John Parr
Visit www.teamemotion.com
 
Tweetables:
“Being assertive is the bedrock of having healthy relationships.” #oncompassion
 
“Assertiveness is a skill that could be learned and taught.” #oncompassion
 
“We are often taught to be manipulative, not assertive.” #oncompassion
 

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes Amy Luckey to today’s conversation. Amy is an Executive Coach who specializes in working with neurodivergent leaders (diagnosed or not), helping them overcome challenges and reach their goals. 
Dr. Nate and Amy discuss today the role of compassion in coaching leaders and provide actionable tips for implementing compassion in the workplace. They also dive deep into the importance of allowing suffering while being with and seeing others.
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Key Takeaways:
[3:03] Why is it relevant to implement compassion in the workplace?
[5:11] Is it important to have a common definition of compassion?  Yes, but Amy proposes a much more experiential approach. 
[9:45] Experiencing compassion must come together with talking and reflecting on it.
[11:49] What are some of the components of compassion?  
[17:36] Compassion: Struggle with or being with someone in their suffering?
[21:48] Dr. Nate discusses developing emotional fluency and self-awareness based on Brene Brown’s research.
[24:27] Amy talks about the notion of being seeing.
[28:41] How can we bring more compassion into Corporate America?
[30:06] Amy shares some tools she uses when working with clients.
[35:01] Dr. Nate and Amy explore the significance of pausing.
 
Mentioned in this episode:
The Compassion Mindset
Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results, Nate Regier
Visit Next-Element
 
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, Brene Brown
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts, Brene Brown
 
Tweetables:
“Allowing the suffering is a main component of compassion.” #oncompassion
 
“The human soul does not need to be advised; it needs to be witnessed.” #oncompassion
 
“You can show compassion without conflict.” #oncompassion

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes Jesh De Rox, a cultural Anthropologist, speaker, and entrepreneur whose work explores the link between emotional intelligence, creative genius, human connection, and joy.
Jesh is the co-founder and CEO of Superfeel. This revolutionary social wellness platform uses deep insights from neuroscience and anthropology to help people authentically express themselves, meaningfully connect, and grow.
 
Key Takeaways:
[2:49] Jesh shares Dr. Nate's presentation's impact on him.
[6:06] How did Jesh become interested in photography?
[10:04] Jesh explains what he defines as a “Personal Wall.”
[12:09] Jesh figured out how to lower these “Personal Walls”.
[13:53] What are some of the strategies that Jesh developed to help lower these personal walls?
[18:25] Jesh explains how connection can be created only by reintroducing creative interaction.
[20:57] Jesh and Dr. Nate play the color game.
[24:39] Jesh prefers Interpersonal Intelligence rather than Artificial Intelligence.
[27:14] We are constantly obsessed with survival, which can be an obstacle to accessing higher places in our consciousness and connecting authentically with people.
[28:17] What does Superfeel offer to its users?
[29:04] Jesh talks about one of the problems in the algorithm design.
[32:44] What can the public expect from Superfeel? How does it work?
[34:32] Jesh built a technology that is capable of caring.
[35:38] Superfeel will be launching in the following month.
[36:32] In Superfeel, everything is rated as inspiring, helpful, or funny.
[38:34] Superfeel gives people the tools they need to have friendships and mentorship with anybody.
 
Mentioned in this episode:
The Compassion Mindset
Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results, Nate Regier
Visit Next-Element
Visit Superfeel.com and sign in for the waiting list.
 
Tweetables:
“People don’t feel their lives very often.” #oncompassion
 
“The only way of inviting someone to lower their wall is first to lower yours.” #oncompassion
 
“When personal walls are down, you not only get a beautiful picture, but you get joy, connection, and creative expression.” #oncompassion
 
“Connection is as simple as reintroducing creative interaction.” #oncompassion
 

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes Cy Wakeman to this special 50th episode of The Compassionate Accountability Podcast. Cy is a drama researcher, international leadership speaker, and consultant. In 2001, she founded Reality-Based Leadership. Cy works with organizations globally to ditch the drama, hardwire accountability into their teams, and turn excuses into results.
 
Key Takeaways:
[2:18] What did motivate Cy to research drama?
[6:24] CY defines drama and how that relates to leadership training.
[7:28] Cy advises to consider drama as waste (and organizations know what to do with waste in their processes)
[8:22] What are the key sources of trauma? Ego and lack of accountability are the first two drama triggers.
[11:03] Conflict is just energy! Either we waste it or take advantage of it.
[13:05] Love up (compassion) and Call up (accountability).
[19:30] Cy explains the notion of Reality-based Leadership, considering that multiple things are true simultaneously and expanding on the future of leadership.
[22:21] We all want success and happiness.
[27:15] Reality-based thinking: Given this reality, what are some ways we can be great?
[30:56] You have drama in your organization because you hired it, you enabled it, or you are it.
[34:39] Cy talks about how she helps organizations.
[35:50] Cy shares what is on the horizon for her now: Transitioning her organization to her team.
 
Mentioned in this episode:
The Compassion Mindset
Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results, Nate Regier
Visit Next-Element
 
Right Kind of Wrong: The Art of Failing Well, Amy Edmondson
 
Tweetables:
“Drama is energy that goes away from results and well being” #oncompassion
 
“Drama is an emotional waste.”  #oncompassion
 
“Ego is the number one key source of trauma.” #oncompassion
 
“Modern leadership is managing the energy of people.” #oncompassion
 
“Rules without relationship equals rebellion.” #oncompassion
 
“A bad day for the ego is a great day for the leader.”  #oncompassion
 
“You have drama in your organization because you hired it, you enabled it, or you are it.” #oncompassion
 
“You are the source of all your problems.” #oncompassion

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes  Caverly Morgan to today’s episode. Caverly is a spiritual teacher, author, speaker, and nonprofit founder. She is the founder and Lead Contemplative of Peace in Schools—a nonprofit that created the nation's first for-credit mindfulness class in public high schools. She is also the founder of Presence Collective, a community of cross-cultural contemplatives committed to personal and collective transformation, creating spaces for wisdom exchange and belonging.
Caverly blends the original spirit of Zen with a modern, nondual approach. Her practice began in 1995 and has included eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She has been teaching contemplative practice since 2001. Caverly is passionate about creating opportunities to experience compassion and connection in the community. 
Caverly shares today how she is manifesting compassion and accountability in the world. 
Key Takeaways:
[2:40] Caverly shares some highlights of her journey that brought her where she is today.
[4:05] Caverly became attracted to the question: Is it possible to move through life either without suffering or less of it?
[4:56] How does Caverly define compassion?
[7:12] Caverly defines compassion as an experience.
[8:52] Caverly talks about the link between her work and compassion as an innate ability.
[10:54] How do we bring compassion into our workspaces?
[11:29]  Are there common barriers that people face to practice compassion?
[13:17] Always striving vs. Contentedness: If we are at peace, do we lose our motivation?
[15:40] Caverly is not a fan of self-improvement and she explains why.
[18:09] Caverly shares some valuable examples of the value of interconnection.
[21:13] Ask yourself: What blocks in our environment prevent us from truly showing the heart of who we are?
[24:32] What if we reinterpret the value of conflict in our relationships? Conflict is efficient in our shared purpose.
[26:58] Caverly describes her work with high school students and educators
[28:35] Caverly shares a particular story.
[30:49] Where does Caverly currently find joy and fulfillment?
 
Mentioned in this episode:
The Compassion Mindset
Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results, Nate Regier
Visit Next-Element
 
Learn more about Caverly Morgan
Check out Caverly’s books: A Kid’s Book About Mindfulness and The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together.
 
Tweetables:
“Transformation happens in the interaction.” #oncompassion
 
“Compassion is a byproduct of knowing that we are connected.” #oncompassion
 
“We often get confused about who we are since our identities can wrap around what we do or whether or not we are successful.” #oncompassion
 
“Freedom is contagious.” #oncompassion

Dr. Nathan Regier, your host, welcomes Jeff Jacobs to today’s episode. Jeff has a 30-plus year career in Human Resources spanning numerous Global Leadership roles. He is currently the Senior Director of Organizational Effectiveness at Adobe. In that capacity, he serves as an executive coach and internal consultant to senior leadership teams across the company.
Dr. Nate and Jeff discuss the particularities of his position at Adobe; they explore the features of a healthy team and the challenges a team must confront to achieve its best performance. Jeff shares his vast knowledge of psychological safety, vulnerability, diversity, and inclusiveness based on his extensive experience in leading high-performing teams.
 
Key Takeaways:
[3:40] Jeff talks about a conference both he and Dr. Nate recently participated in.
[5:15] Jeff shares some of his background and journey that led him to his current position at Adobe.
[6:57] What about Jeff’s Senior Director of Organizational Effectiveness position at Adobe is unique?
[9:26] What makes a team healthy?
[11:00] Jeff addresses compassion and inclusivity as crucial features of a healthy team.
[12:40] Where does conflict come in for high-performing teams?
[15:13] What is psychological safety? How does it contribute to high-performing teams?
[18:50] What does “radical candor” really mean?
[21:15] Jeff expands on the key to effective feedback.
[22:20] How does vulnerability contribute to high-performing teams?
[24:57] Why do so many leaders perceive vulnerability as a weakness?
[27:27] What are some of the systems and processes that can support high-performing cultures?
[31:32] How does Jeff measure the impact of what he does?
[33:13] What is the difference between people liking you, and benefiting an organization?
[35:44] Jeff talks about the book he is about to release.
[39:13] Jeff shares how he keeps himself vulnerable and open.
[42:35] Dr. Nate shares his top takeaways from a fantastic conversation with Jeff Jacobs.
 
Mentioned in this episode:
The Compassion Mindset
Compassionate Accountability: How Leaders Build Connection and Get Results, Nate Regier
Visit Next-Element
 
The Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well, Amy Edmondson
 
Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, Tim Scott
Learn more about Jeff Jacobs’ book Still Coming of Age.
 
Tweetables:
“A healthy team starts with trust and psychological safety.” #oncompassion
 
“Leveraging diversity is not just about accepting and valuing differences; there is an inherent conflict in diversity and also an inherent opportunity.” #oncompassion
 
“Psychological safety is the foundation that enables someone to lean into the discomfort.” #oncompassion
 
“Culture is to build one relationship at a time.” #oncompassion

“Vulnerability is one of the most profound leadership strengths that exists.” #oncompassion