Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers The Members-Only Podcast

Kristina Kuzmic, author of I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, shares personal insights on handling teen depression, substance use, and the importance of connection over control in parent-child relationships.

If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
Full Show Notes
Parenting a struggling teen comes with challenges that can often feel insurmountable. Whether you're facing issues like lying, substance use, tantrums, or even violence and aggression, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and at a loss for solutions. Understanding how to foster an environment where your child feels seen and supported—despite the chaos—can make a significant difference in both your lives.
When Kristin Kuzmic's son began showing signs of severe depression and substance use during his teen years, she embarked on a journey to understand, support, and ultimately help him heal. Her story, detailed in her latest book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, offers a wealth of knowledge for parents in similar situations.
Joining us on the show today, Kristina explains how her initial reluctance about sharing her journey turned into a powerful testimony of the strength and resilience required to parent a struggling child. With her son’s blessing and contribution, the book became a crucial resource for parents dealing with similar issues.
Identifying Signs of Struggle
Kristina noticed her son's change in behavior around age 12—what began as typical teenage mood swings escalated into serious signs of depression. From isolating behaviors to violent outbursts, Kristina's home became a battleground. Persistent therapy sessions seemed futile until the deeper issues at play were properly identified as clinical depression. Recognizing that these behaviors are symptoms of deeper issues, not simple teenage rebellion, was a vital step in addressing his struggles.
Connection Over Control
A theme that permeates Kristina’s approach is the necessity of connection over control. She emphasizes that the first instinct of many parents—controlling behavior—is often counterproductive. Instead, she advocates for a connection-driven approach, focusing on truly understanding your child’s individual struggles and needs. Practical steps like using grounding techniques and calming your own responses to their actions can open up channels for genuine communication and support.
The Power of Showing Up
Throughout Luca’s most troubling times, Kristina maintained a constant presence in his life, even when he tried pushing her away. This persistent showing up helped build a foundation of trust that eventually allowed her son to turn to her in his moments of deepest need. This approach is a testament to the importance of being physically and emotionally present, even when it feels like you're not making a difference.
Navigating the Maze of Mental Health Support
From psychiatric care to residential treatment centers, Kristina and her family navigated the complex mental health system. She shares valuable advice on making these decisions and finding the right support systems while emphasizing the importance of consent and involvement from the struggling teen.
The Overlooked "Good" Child
While dealing with a struggling child, it’s easy to overlook siblings who appear to be coping well. Kristina warns parents against this oversight, sharing how her daughter suffered silently while maintaining a facade of stability. Ensuring that all children in a family receive the attention and support they need, regardless of apparent signs of distress, is crucial.
Self-Care is Not Selfish
Kristina discusses the often neglected topic of parental self-care. Facing the immense emotional toll of supporting a struggling teen, parents might feel guilty for any self-indulgence or personal time. However, Kristina argues that taking care

Kristina Kuzmic, author of I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, shares personal insights on handling teen depression, substance use, and the importance of connection over control in parent-child relationships.

Parenting a struggling teen comes with challenges that can often feel insurmountable. Whether you're facing issues like lying, substance use, tantrums, or even violence and aggression, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and at a loss for solutions. Understanding how to foster an environment where your child feels seen and supported—despite the chaos—can make a significant difference in both your lives.

When Kristin Kuzmic's son began showing signs of severe depression and substance use during his teen years, she embarked on a journey to understand, support, and ultimately help him heal. Her story, detailed in her latest book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, offers a wealth of knowledge for parents in similar situations.

Joining us on the show today, Kristina explains how her initial reluctance about sharing her journey turned into a powerful testimony of the strength and resilience required to parent a struggling child. With her son’s blessing and contribution, the book became a crucial resource for parents dealing with similar issues.

Identifying Signs of Struggle

Kristina noticed her son's change in behavior around age 12—what began as typical teenage mood swings escalated into serious signs of depression. From isolating behaviors to violent outbursts, Kristina's home became a battleground. Persistent therapy sessions seemed futile until the deeper issues at play were properly identified as clinical depression. Recognizing that these behaviors are symptoms of deeper issues, not simple teenage rebellion, was a vital step in addressing his struggles.

Connection Over Control

A theme that permeates Kristina’s approach is the necessity of connection over control. She emphasizes that the first instinct of many parents—controlling behavior—is often counterproductive. Instead, she advocates for a connection-driven approach, focusing on truly understanding your child’s individual struggles and needs. Practical steps like using grounding techniques and calming your own responses to their actions can open up channels for genuine communication and support.

The Power of Showing Up

Throughout Luca’s most troubling times, Kristina maintained a constant presence in his life, even when he tried pushing her away. This persistent showing up helped build a foundation of trust that eventually allowed her son to turn to her in his moments of deepest need. This approach is a testament to the importance of being physically and emotionally present, even when it feels like you're not making a difference.

Navigating the Maze of Mental Health Support

From psychiatric care to residential treatment centers, Kristina and her family navigated the complex mental health system. She shares valuable advice on making these decisions and finding the right support systems while emphasizing the importance of consent and involvement from the struggling teen.

The Overlooked "Good" Child

While dealing with a struggling child, it’s easy to overlook siblings who appear to be coping well. Kristina warns parents against this oversight, sharing how her daughter suffered silently while maintaining a facade of stability. Ensuring that all children in a family receive the attention and support they need, regardless of apparent signs of distress, is crucial.

Self-Care is Not Selfish

Kristina discusses the often neglected topic of parental self-care. Facing the immense emotional toll of supporting a struggling teen, parents might feel guilty for any self-indulgence or personal time. However, Kristina argues that taking care of oneself is also an essential part of being an effective, compassionate parent. Both her anecdotal experiences and the tr

Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride, joins us to discuss the essential do's and don'ts for parents when their teenager comes out as LGBTQ, offering practical advice on supportive communication, unlearning biases, and addressing mental health and substance use concerns.

If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
Full Show Notes
Every parent wishes to be a source of unwavering support and love for their children. However, when a teenager comes out as LGBTQ, many parents find themselves unprepared and anxious about how to respond appropriately. Initial reactions can be critical, as negative responses may have lasting repercussions on the teen's mental health and self-esteem.
Introducing Heather Hester
Our guest today is Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and the host of the podcast Just Breathe. Heather is also the author of the newly released book, Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen.
With years of experience providing guidance and education to parents and allies of LGBTQ young adults, Heather is here to help us understand how to navigate this sensitive yet profoundly important process of supporting our LGBTQ teens.
Why Initial Reactions Matter
Coming out is usually the culmination of a long and often painful period of internal conflict for teens. Heather explains that parents must recognize this journey and approach their teen's coming out with an emphatic and supportive response. Contrary to instinctive reactions like "Are you sure?", which can undermine a teen's confidence, parents should focus on affirmations such as "I love you," "Thank you for telling me," and "I've got you."
Heather shares that parents often inadvertently project their own fears and biases into the conversation, which can be damaging. Instead, she advises parents to work through their own uncertainties separately and to avoid placing these burdens on their child.
Understanding the Process and Stages of Coming Out
It's a common misconception that coming out is a single event. Heather clarifies that it’s a process composed of several stages, ranging from internal acknowledgment to public declaration and ongoing self-acceptance. By the time teens come out to their parents, they have typically already gone through significant internal struggles and are well past the initial phases of questioning and doubt.
Recognizing this can help parents offer more meaningful support and understand the continued journey that lies ahead for their teen. This perspective also highlights the importance of ongoing support, as coming out is a recurring event each time a teen enters a new environment, such as changing schools or starting a new job.
Different Identities and Orientations
Heather also emphasizes the importance of understanding the diverse range of identities within the LGBTQ spectrum. These include not just lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations, but also gender identities like transgender and non-binary, as well as terms like intersex and asexual. She encourages parents to ask open-ended questions like, "What does that mean to you?" to foster a supportive and educational conversation.
Addressing Mental Health and Substance Use
Statistics show that LGBTQ teens are at a higher risk for mental health issues and substance use due to societal pressures, bullying, and a lack of affirmation. Heather explains the importance of proactive dialogue about these issues and remaining vigilant for changes in behavior. It's essential for parents to provide a safe and accepting home environment while also being prepared to seek professional help if needed.
Emphasizing Present Acceptance
One of the most impactful ways parents can support their LGBTQ teen is by expressing unconditional love and acceptance for who they are right now. Often, in an attempt to be encouraging, parents may focus on their child's future potential, inadvertentl

Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride, joins us to discuss the essential do's and don'ts for parents when their teenager comes out as LGBTQ, offering practical advice on supportive communication, unlearning biases, and addressing mental health and substance use concerns.

Every parent wishes to be a source of unwavering support and love for their children. However, when a teenager comes out as LGBTQ, many parents find themselves unprepared and anxious about how to respond appropriately. Initial reactions can be critical, as negative responses may have lasting repercussions on the teen's mental health and self-esteem.

Introducing Heather Hester

Our guest today is Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and the host of the podcast Just Breathe. Heather is also the author of the newly released book, Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen.

With years of experience providing guidance and education to parents and allies of LGBTQ young adults, Heather is here to help us understand how to navigate this sensitive yet profoundly important process of supporting our LGBTQ teens.

Why Initial Reactions Matter

Coming out is usually the culmination of a long and often painful period of internal conflict for teens. Heather explains that parents must recognize this journey and approach their teen's coming out with an emphatic and supportive response. Contrary to instinctive reactions like "Are you sure?", which can undermine a teen's confidence, parents should focus on affirmations such as "I love you," "Thank you for telling me," and "I've got you."

Heather shares that parents often inadvertently project their own fears and biases into the conversation, which can be damaging. Instead, she advises parents to work through their own uncertainties separately and to avoid placing these burdens on their child.

Understanding the Process and Stages of Coming Out

It's a common misconception that coming out is a single event. Heather clarifies that it’s a process composed of several stages, ranging from internal acknowledgment to public declaration and ongoing self-acceptance. By the time teens come out to their parents, they have typically already gone through significant internal struggles and are well past the initial phases of questioning and doubt.

Recognizing this can help parents offer more meaningful support and understand the continued journey that lies ahead for their teen. This perspective also highlights the importance of ongoing support, as coming out is a recurring event each time a teen enters a new environment, such as changing schools or starting a new job.

Different Identities and Orientations

Heather also emphasizes the importance of understanding the diverse range of identities within the LGBTQ spectrum. These include not just lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations, but also gender identities like transgender and non-binary, as well as terms like intersex and asexual. She encourages parents to ask open-ended questions like, "What does that mean to you?" to foster a supportive and educational conversation.

Addressing Mental Health and Substance Use

Statistics show that LGBTQ teens are at a higher risk for mental health issues and substance use due to societal pressures, bullying, and a lack of affirmation. Heather explains the importance of proactive dialogue about these issues and remaining vigilant for changes in behavior. It's essential for parents to provide a safe and accepting home environment while also being prepared to seek professional help if needed.

Emphasizing Present Acceptance

One of the most impactful ways parents can support their LGBTQ teen is by expressing unconditional love and acceptance for who they are right now. Often, in an attempt to be encouraging, parents may focus on their child's future potential, inadvertently sending the message that who they are currently is not enough. Heather advises celebrating the teen's current strengths a

John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit, explains how parents can identify when their teens are bullshitting and how to raise teens who critically evaluate the information they encounter.

If you've enjoyed Talking to Teens, we'd love if you could leave us a five-star rating, and if you have time, a review! 
Full Show Notes
As teenagers grow and seek more independence, they can sometimes wield sophisticated tactics to avoid responsibility or twist the truth to their advantage. This behavior, often dubbed “bullshitting,” can make the challenging task of parenting even more complex. But how can parents distinguish between harmless exaggerations, outright lies, and simple bullshit?
In today’s fast-paced and information-saturated world, parents must not only navigate their teen's emerging independence but also teach them to identify and resist bullshit from other sources. Teens today are bombarded with information from social media, peers, and other influences, making it crucial for them to develop robust critical thinking skills. But how can we ensure that they are equipped to navigate this complex landscape effectively?
Enter John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit. John is not just a researcher but an expert who has delved deeply into the concept of bullshit, differentiating it from lying and studying its impacts on individuals and society. With over a decade of empirical research under his belt, John’s work provides invaluable insights into how parents can better detect bullshit and teach their teens to be critical thinkers.
Understanding Bullshit
John introduces us to the nuances that differentiate bullshitting from lying. While both bullshitting and lying involve deception, the bullshitter often doesn't care about the truth—they aim to sound knowledgeable or impressive irrespective of the facts. This indifference towards the truth can have severe implications, influencing our beliefs, memories, and critical decisions.
John shares fascinating findings from his research, including how people are more prone to bullshit when they believe their audience lacks expertise or won’t scrutinize their claims. This is where parents can start: by fostering an environment where claims are questioned and critical thinking is actively encouraged.
Why Bullshit Matters
Many parents might underestimate the significance of their teen’s bullshit, thinking it’s benign or non-malicious. However, John highlights how unchecked bullshit can cloud judgment, lead to poor decision-making, and have lasting negative impacts. It’s essential for parents to stay vigilant and model skepticism, not to erode trust, but to nurture an atmosphere where truth and logical evaluation are paramount.
Teaching Critical Thinking
In the episode, John shares actionable tips for parents to encourage their teens to become critical thinkers: 
Ask Questions: Encourage teens to think through claims by asking them, “Is that true?” or “Why might that be incorrect?” Model Skepticism: Show by example how to question information and sources without being cynical. Create a Safe Space: Allow your teen to discuss their ideas and beliefs openly, ensuring they understand it’s okay to be wrong as long as they’re committed to finding the truth. John also emphasizes the importance of teaching teens to recognize their own susceptibilities to bullshit, which can come from a desire to fit in, sound knowledgeable, or alleviate awkwardness. By making critical thinking a fun and engaging activity, parents can help teens sharpen their bullshit detection skills without feeling attacked or dismissed.
Tackling External Bullshit 
Teens today are also vulnerable to external bullshit from influencers, social media, and even certain educational resources. John encourages parents to: 
Discuss Case Studies: Go through dubious claims seen on social media together and break down why they might be misl

John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit, explains how parents can identify when their teens are bullshitting and how to raise teens who critically evaluate the information they encounter.

As teenagers grow and seek more independence, they can sometimes wield sophisticated tactics to avoid responsibility or twist the truth to their advantage. This behavior, often dubbed “bullshitting,” can make the challenging task of parenting even more complex. But how can parents distinguish between harmless exaggerations, outright lies, and simple bullshit?

In today’s fast-paced and information-saturated world, parents must not only navigate their teen's emerging independence but also teach them to identify and resist bullshit from other sources. Teens today are bombarded with information from social media, peers, and other influences, making it crucial for them to develop robust critical thinking skills. But how can we ensure that they are equipped to navigate this complex landscape effectively?

Enter John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit. John is not just a researcher but an expert who has delved deeply into the concept of bullshit, differentiating it from lying and studying its impacts on individuals and society. With over a decade of empirical research under his belt, John’s work provides invaluable insights into how parents can better detect bullshit and teach their teens to be critical thinkers.

Understanding Bullshit

John introduces us to the nuances that differentiate bullshitting from lying. While both bullshitting and lying involve deception, the bullshitter often doesn't care about the truth—they aim to sound knowledgeable or impressive irrespective of the facts. This indifference towards the truth can have severe implications, influencing our beliefs, memories, and critical decisions.

John shares fascinating findings from his research, including how people are more prone to bullshit when they believe their audience lacks expertise or won’t scrutinize their claims. This is where parents can start: by fostering an environment where claims are questioned and critical thinking is actively encouraged.

Why Bullshit Matters

Many parents might underestimate the significance of their teen’s bullshit, thinking it’s benign or non-malicious. However, John highlights how unchecked bullshit can cloud judgment, lead to poor decision-making, and have lasting negative impacts. It’s essential for parents to stay vigilant and model skepticism, not to erode trust, but to nurture an atmosphere where truth and logical evaluation are paramount.

Teaching Critical Thinking

In the episode, John shares actionable tips for parents to encourage their teens to become critical thinkers:
* Ask Questions: Encourage teens to think through claims by asking them, “Is that true?” or “Why might that be incorrect?”
* Model Skepticism: Show by example how to question information and sources without being cynical.
* Create a Safe Space: Allow your teen to discuss their ideas and beliefs openly, ensuring they understand it’s okay to be wrong as long as they’re committed to finding the truth.

John also emphasizes the importance of teaching teens to recognize their own susceptibilities to bullshit, which can come from a desire to fit in, sound knowledgeable, or alleviate awkwardness. By making critical thinking a fun and engaging activity, parents can help teens sharpen their bullshit detection skills without feeling attacked or dismissed.

Tackling External Bullshit

Teens today are also vulnerable to external bullshit from influencers, social media, and even certain educational resources. John encourages parents to:
* Discuss Case Studies: Go through dubious claims seen on social media together and break down why they might be misleading or false.
* Encourage Fact-Checking: Teach teens how to verify facts, check sources, and look for credible evidence befo