Breaking Bread Podcast ACCFS Staff

Exploration is a prerequisite to having a settled identity. For parents with kids unsettled and exploring, this can be a frightening time. What role do we play in the exploration process? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter will help us sort it out. 

Show notes: 

Identity: 

Is the sense of self – Who I am and who I am not.  

Identity Formation: 

Starts with exploration and ends with commitment. 

Exploration is trying, investigating, experiencing, researching. 
Commitment is being settled, resolved and grounded. 

Identity Culture in “the west”: 

It is constructed individually. This means that the community has a limited influence on placing an identity on an individual. Rather, the individual has the ownness of discovering and embracing their identity.  

Challenge: 

Our young people are saddled with the task of sorting out their identity for themselves. 

Angst: 

Watching young people explore their identity. 

Opportunity: 


Support and guide exploration in community.  

As possible, try not to rigidly force closure on those in the exploration phase. Rather, have dialogue that prompts healthy exploration. Thoughtful open-ended questions, and critical thinking prompts are necessary to guide wise investigation.  
Have patience in the process with a goal to maintain relationship. 

Fear: 

Suppose an unwise identity is chosen? 

Remember: Where there is life, there is experience. Where there is experience, there is exploration. Where there is exploration, there is hope yet for a good commitment. 

We all know that the body is made up of different members. Members one of another. The hand needs the foot. The eye needs the ear. But even more profound than these examples is the uncommon humility that my non-dominate left hand has with my dominate right. Similar in frame and made to do everything the right hand can… it performs well, but not as well. Yet it serves my body selflessly and without dissention. In this podcast we will listen and learn from our non-dominate hands a lesson on cooperation and being a member one of another. 
 
An Imagined Interview with my Left Hand: 

Me: When did you learn that I was going to be what they call “right-handed?”
Left-hand: I learned this early. I noticed you were using the right hand to lead and do the more sensitive tasks. 

Me: Do you compare yourself with the right?
Left-hand: I don’t. My right hand does his job so well, and I’m glad. I do my job well.  

Me: What do you understand your job to be?
Left-hand: My job is to be a good left-hand complement to the right-hand.  

Me: How do you understand your relationship to be with the right-hand?
Left-hand: I don’t see myself separate from my right-hand. We are of the same body. Everything we do separately or together comes from you and is for you. You get the credit for anything we do, and you should. 

Me: Do you get jealous of the right hand?
Left-hand: No, not at all. I know you are pleased with me and that’s all that matters.  

The Christian life has music interwoven into its fabric. We use it to worship God. We are instructed to sing. It should not be surprising then to learn that music has the potential to benefit the mind and emotion. In this episode, music therapist Nick Lanz gives us tips on how to use music therapeutically. 

Show notes: 

Music Therapy: The clinical & evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program.  

What do music therapists do?​ 

Assess emotional well-being, physical health, social functioning, communication abilities, and cognitive skills through musical responses. 
Design music sessions for individuals and groups based on client needs using various musical interventions. 
Participate in interdisciplinary treatment planning, ongoing evaluation, and follow up.​ 

 

Music therapy interventions for mental health can address a variety of healthcare & educational goals: 

Develop healthy coping skills 
Identify/express/explore emotions 
Process trauma 
Improve depressive symptoms 
Decrease anxiety/agitation 
Promote relaxation 


Promote positive thinking/self-esteem 
Develop sense of belonging/community 
Promote positive social interaction/group cohesion 
Address loneliness, grief, loss and stigma that persist despite treatment 
Develop independence/decision-making skills 
Manage stress 
Promote wellness 

“Music therapists use music to accomplish non-musical goals.” 

There are four main approaches: 

Receptive 

Music listening 
Song discussion/lyric analysis 
Music-assisted relaxation/progressive muscle relaxation 

Can also include music for sleep 

Movement & music 
Bonny Method of Guided Imagery & Music (requires post-graduate training) 

Re-creative 

Instrument instruction 
Instrument playing 
Sing-along 


Recording sessions 

Compositional 

Therapeutic songwriting (multiple methods) 

Improvisational  

Instrumental/vocal improvisation 
Drum circle/instrumental circle (groups) 

The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it.  

Show notes: 

What does making peace with pain mean?  

Answer: Making peace with pain happens when we change our relationship with pain. Instead of orbiting the pain, we are freed from the unhealthy attachment we have with it. While pain may remain, we are able to live with it as a part of our story but it does not govern our identity. Pain has its proper effect on our lives - not too much, yet not ignored. 

Why is making peace with pain important? 

Answer: Pain unattended has a tendency to generate unhealthy attachments in our lives. We orbit closely to the pain. Some will try to soothe the pain by unhealthy means. Others will over identify with the pain. Still others will expend tremendous energies to change circumstances to make the pain go away. As a result, we become less responsive to our present lives because pain management requires so much attention. We don’t live well now. 

How do we know if there is pain in our lives for which peace needs to be made? 

Answer: If we have a past relationship with our pain and not a present relationship we may need to make peace with pain. This can be seen in our response to present circumstances. For example, if we react to present circumstances inappropriately, our past pain may be speaking.  

How do we make peace with pain? 

Answer: We make peace with pain by first understanding that God is present with us in our pain. We are not alone. Alowing yourself to sit with God in your pain is a healthy exercise. Next, acceptance will need to be practiced. Acceptance is letting go of circumstances that are not and will not be. It includes a trust that God loves you, is good and sees a wider expanse. For some pain, forgiveness will need to be extended to the offending parties.  

The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it.

One of the pains of parenting is watching your children make poor choices. What should we do when there is not much we can do? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Craig Stickling speak to the do’s and don’ts of parenting through these challenges. 

Show Notes: 

 So your child made the wrong decision. Remember this Mom and Dad:  

Hang in there with them. 
Protect your relationship with them. 
Have a posture of grace with them. 
Be learners together. 
Allow natural consequences to teach. 
Help them learn from their decisions. 
Speak truth in love. 
Don’t over personalize their decision. 
Lean on the larger community to speak truth into their life. 
Give it time. 


Trust in prayer.