I'd Rather Talk Mark Edward

In 21st Century America, finding a Leader who lives to Serve seems near impossible. Humility? Leading with Hope instead of Fear? Good Luck. Yet today, I am stoked that I am Co-hosting with such a leader, one of my Mentors for the past 20 years, Dr. Warren Leslie Heckman. Dr. Warren has modeled authentic Leadership for 65 years. At 86, he remains energetic, fun, humorous, and chill! In this episode, he vulnerably shares how he - as the patriarch of his growing family - continues to lead them through the tragic loss of one his daughters. He reveals - with humility - insightful nuggets about navigating the twists and turns of his life as a successful and respected leader. A leader I would follow.






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Marine Major Cameron Allen Hubbard, a part of My Circle since 2008, joins me as we talk about keeping your sanity while juggling marriage, parenting, career, and learning to love yourself. Cameron makes it real about:

Dating, getting married, and immediately getting deployed; The most important act he does as a husband;
His best advice for young husbands;
How being a new dad wasn’t really that much fun – “kinda lame;”
Coping when one child was much more difficult than the other; How he helped his wife during severe post-partum blues;
His best advice for young fathers;
Getting through a miscarriage
The challenges of being an introvert while being a Major in the military;
And, how He Overcame The Big Three – Self Loathing, Isolation, and Sexual Shame.

Cameron, who earned his Masters in Applied Communications, candidly addresses how growing up in the purity culture affected his outlook on sexual feelings and masturbation.  We talk about pushing porn back, and using (porn free) masturbation in marriage as a tool to help strengthen the marriage, not hinder it. We even hit on ways to have sexy interactions with your spouse when you are apart, on business trips, or deployed.
Finally, he shares tips for taking care of yourself, and loving yourself:  The Man in the Mirror.  I know you will find what Cameron shares to be relevant, insightful and helpful. This dialogue will resonate with young husbands, fathers, and husbands and fathers to be.

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** Disclaimer ** The Topics of Sexuality and Suicide are Discussed in this Episode ** Twenty One Percent of Gen Z's now identify as part of the LGBTQ community.  Meaning, that if you interact with 5 Gen Z's today, it is possible that one of them is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer.  Even in the 21st century, much debate still exists in the evangelical Christian community about the responses given, and actions extended to an LGBTG person - to the point that denominations split over the debate. Can an LGBTG individual serve in the church?  Are they even welcome in the church?  What does "welcome" really mean?  If so, can they volunteer at the VBS sign up table, but not in the room with kids?  Can they sing in the choir, but not direct the choir?  And of course, are they going to heaven or hell?  The enormous pressure of rejection, whether silent or outright, often felt by a person who identifies as LGBTQ, brings about fear, perceived shame, anxiety, self loathing and self hatred, especially for those like my Co-host, who begged God in their childhood and adolescence, to make them straight.  LGBTQ youth are four times more likely to seriously consider suicide, to make a plan for suicide, and to attempt suicide versus their peers (Johns et al., 2019; Johns et al., 2020). The Trevor Project estimates that at least one LGBTQ youth between the ages of 13–24 attempts suicide every 45 seconds in the U.S.  The point of this Episode is not to debate whether an LGBTQ person is "living in sin" or "going to heaven or hell."  Instead, we explore what daily life is like for a gay young, talented, professional in his 30's, wanting to be a part of the evangelical church in the Bible Belt.  Have you befriended anyone who is LGBTQ?  Do long held myths and fears separate you?  Would you invite a member of the LGBTQ community to sit with you at church?  Invite them for a meal in a restaurant in your community?  Can a gay man walk in peace with God?  Can a gay man worship God? Join my myself and my co-host, real estate professional, Devin Robert Mueller, as he makes it real about his personal journey as a gay man in an evangelical world.

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Was your father physically present but emotionally distant?  If your answer is yes, you are not alone.

Besides sexuality, the 2nd most talked about subject in my Mentoring Circle is the relationship with Dad.  Or lack there of. In 37 years of mentoring, the majority of the young men with whom I have journeyed, have expressed the desire for an improved relationship with dad; about 70%.

We all crave guidance, training, non judgmental acceptance, one on one time, and of course healthy affection from our fathers. If not from him, then from healthy father figures. In EP12 (Part 2 of Father Wounds), my Co-Host and long time friend, Net Gen, song writer, athlete, and native Southern Californian, Isaac Timothy Plentl, shares the frustration, pain and positive insights of having 2 dads – who were physically present – but emotionally distant. Yes. Dads. Not one, but two.  I say long time friend because, while Isaac is 25, I've known him since he was 5, so that is a long time for him!  Isaac gets real on topics like:

· how he craved to discover positive traits in his dads, that he wanted to emulate.

· who helped with the transfer of masculinity with emotionally distant dads.

· how painful the gaps in his life were and how multiple mentors filled the void.

· how he filled the gaps in unhealthy ways.

· how having distant dads impacted his sexuality and learning about sexuality – and - what to do when you find yourself in the hot zone in a sexual moment.

We hit difficult questions such as:

· Did having emotionally distant dads impact his porn challenges?

· Is it possible to save sex for marriage?

· How do you recover and approach life if your dad did not make you a priority?

· Is it still possible to invite an emotionally distant dad into your life or even ask him for help?

· What would you say to your dad if you could talk with him about his distance or absence from you?

Lastly, Isaac offers tips and sound wisdom on how to go forward with an emotionally distant dad.  So good.


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Maybe you’ve struggled with the pain of having an absent dad - either physically absent, or emotionally absent. Resist the urge to isolate because of your dad’s choices. You have not failed. This is not on you. You can find hope. Your man tank can be filled.  You can be fully restored. You can become as strong as a young man whose dad actually was present and healthy. We all crave guidance, training, full acceptance, time, and of course healthy affection from our fathers. If not from him, then from a well balanced father figure. Today my Co-Host, a thirty-something millenial and native New Yorker, opens up about having a physically absent dad who abandoned him and his mother when he was age 9. Chris earned his Master's Degree in Psychology – and he may share some of what he has learned as he counsels children and teens in our local schools, facing similar dad wounds.  But more so, he opens his man soul in a profoundly vulnerable yet witty and in-your-face way, by sharing both the extraordinary loss – and his healthy recovery journey of overcoming after... Growing up Fatherless.


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In our Season Two Opener, this Florida native - my cohost, barber, history lover, men’s style connoisseur, and young father, Christopher Kyle Stewart, shares valuable insights and advice about ways to up your grooming routine.

Professional, yet practical, Kyle has both passion and knowledge in the areas of grooming and style for men. Many young men struggle with self-care and personal grooming.
Often, Dads of young men did not offer or imitate healthy grooming tips – they are not always passed on to the next generation. Grooming behaviors “stick” better when they are shared from dad, a mentor, or another healthy positive male role model.
The importance of self care, hair care, skin care, smelling good, looking great – and taking down time  - is paramount to a healthy self-image, emotional health, mental health, and even physical health.
I admire Kyle’s incredible knowledge during this episode.  As a history lover, he is pretty matter of fact, but we even got him to crack a smile and laugh – look for that in the bloopers real at the end.
I learn something from Kyle every time we hang – his expertise shines in Episode 10!

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