Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding Jenna Wolfe, Certified Lactation Counselor (CBI) and Certified Purejoy Parent Coach

This week I'm answering a coaching call question from an extended breastfeeding mom:
"My toddler often doesn't accept dad at night when she wakes up crying. I am and have always been the preferred parent.  I have just found out about a work trip I need to take which will have me away from my 2-year-old overnight for the first time.  Typically, I feed her to sleep and to resettle throughout the night.  If I am out of the house for bedtime, she does goes to sleep for other people, but it often takes a lot longer than if I am doing bedtime. 
Wondering if you had any tips that might help them both prepare for my work trip over the next few weeks and allow dad to be involved in general?"

While there are a lot of things can be done to indirectly support a family in this situation, in this podcast episode, I break down a simple 3 part strategy to support a non-breastfeeding parent & a breastfed toddler for their first night(s) alone together. 

Whether you decide to night wean ahead of time or not (and I do explore this a little more in the episode), bolstering and leveraging your child's connection with the person who will be caring for them is key to a relaxing time apart. 


Find more opportunities for playful interactions between dad & kiddo (without pulling back from your own playful interactions with your child.)  Utilizing "bridging" tools to help your child feel connected with you even when you are apart and help that separation feel less scary and intense. Expand the non-breastfeeding caregiver's capacity to hold space for the feelings that may come up. Resources Mentioned:
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/







Want to learn more from me? Watch my free, instant access workshop:  Designing Your Pathway to Toddler Breastfeeding Mastery
Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guideLove this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. 3

**SUBMIT YOUR Q FOR ME TO ANSWER IN FUTURE EPISODES**

In this week's episode of Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding, I'm answering a question I received from a student in Own Your Breastfeeding Story. 
"How can I encourage my 2 year old to settle down when he is on the bed with us? 
We cosleep and most of the time especially in the morning when he wakes up, after he nurses from me, he immediately goes to wake up our 4 month old, or will start making big movements that will wake her up. 
We try to explain to him that when the newborn is sleeping (or anyone) we whisper and we try not to disturb them.
Is this an unrealistic expectation of a toddler?  What else can we do? "
This kind of situation comes up in lots of different contexts - and for tandem breastfeeding moms, it can feel particularly loaded. 
Breastfeeding is your number one tool, but maybe your toddler isn't interested, or maybe YOU aren't interested.  Are you destined to have a horrible day that begins with a stressful morning?
In the episode I share a few different things to consider, and give some practical support: 
1 - Check in with YOUR expectations first.  
2 - Set your little one up for success by talking about this issue outside of the moment. 
3 - Support them to have something else to do.  
4 - Playfully engage with them to put them into a receptive state and avoid having to tell them what to do/not to do altogether.  



Want to learn more from me? Watch my free, instant access workshop:  Designing Your Pathway to Toddler Breastfeeding Mastery
Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guideLove this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. 3

**AUDIO FIXED**
Breastfeeding a toddler and a newborn... at the same time -> most people in the Western world think this is crazy. 

And yet, I breastfed 2 kids (of different ages) for 3.5 years, and I hear from listeners all the time who are either doing it or considering it. 

But, just like most things "extended breastfeeding" there aren't many places to find support when you start out on your tandem nursing journey. 

In this final part of the Tandem Feeding series I give you all the things I wish I would have known as a first time tandem feeding mom, 

I cover: 
The most commonly asked tandemfeeding questionsPreparing to tandem feedNavigating the early days of tandem nursing (including positions & sleep) Common challengesSome benefits of tandem nursing. Resources & Links from the episode:
Sleep:
Tiffany's Safe Bedsharing GuideUniversity of Notre Dame Mother Baby Sleep Labratory FAQLa Leche League International Safe 7 Sleeping
Baby Wearing:
Tula Toddler Carriers (not an affiliate - just an example of something available)Ring Sling with a newborn videoBreastfeeding in a ringslingWoven wrap tandem carry  with a woven wrapBack carry newborn (ONLY ATTEMPT IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCED)
Studies referenced in the episode:
Sinkiewicz-Darol E, Bernatowicz-Łojko U, Łubiech K, Adamczyk I, Twarużek M, Baranowska B, Skowron K, Spatz DL. Tandem Breastfeeding: A Descriptive Analysis of the Nutritional Value of Milk When Feeding a Younger and Older Child. Nutrients. 2021 Jan 19;13(1):277. doi: 10.3390/nu13010277. PMID: 33478010; PMCID: PMC7835967.
Yate ZM. A Qualitative Study on Negative Emotions Triggered by Breastfeeding; Describing the Phenomenon of Breastfeeding/Nursing Aversion and Agitation in Breastfeeding Mothers. Iran J Nurs Midwifery Res. 2017 Nov-Dec;22(6):449-454. doi: 10.4103/ijnmr.IJNMR_235_16. PMID: 29184583; PMCID: PMC5684792.
Supportive resources for navigating judgment while tandem feeding:
Podcast episode on Navigating JudgmentAdventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flowers, PhDKellyMom.com Tandem feedingWant to learn more from me? Watch my free, instant access workshop:  Designing Your Pathway to Toddler Breastfeeding Mastery
Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guideLove this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. 3

Finding out you are pregnant is a complex at the best of times.  


Having concerns about safety for you and your growing baby, finding your life impacted in ways you never would have expected, and feeling emotions you didn't know were possible (thank you hormones!) are all normal things in pregnancy - but there is an added layer of concern and change when you conceive while you are currently breastfeeding. 

It's (unfortunately) common to immediately get advice from friends, family, and even doctors that you must wean for your well-being and the health of your fetus.  It's understood that breastfeeding during pregnancy has far more risks and benefits and continuing on is just foolish... or is it? 

In this week's podcast episode I bring together some of the lastest research & science around breastfeeding during pregnancy, as well as my own personal experience as a tandem feeding mom, and my professional experience as a toddler breastfeeding coach to give you the best information on: 
The safety of breastfeeding during pregnancyYour milk supply while pregnanPain & aversion during pregnancy while breastfeeding Weaning & making changes with your toddlerHit follow/subscribe to get notified when the 3rd and final part of this series drops!

Much of the research I share in this podcast episode is from the 2nd edition of Dr. Hilary Flower's book: "Adventures in Tandem Nursing"

Click to listen to the referenced episode on Milk Supply while breastfeeding a toddler.

Stalimerou V, Dagla M, Vivilaki V, Orovou E, Antoniou E, Iliadou M. Breastfeeding During Pregnancy: A Systematic Review of the Literature. Maedica (Bucur). 2023 Sep;18(3):463-469. doi: 10.26574/maedica.2023.18.3.463. PMID: 38023747; PMCID: PMC10674114.

Madarshahian F, Hassanabadi M. A comparative study of breastfeeding during pregnancy: impact on maternal and newborn outcomes. J Nurs Res. 2012 Mar;20(1):74-80. doi: 10.1097/JNR.0b013e31824777c1. PMID: 22333968.




Want to learn more from me? Watch my free, instant access workshop:  Designing Your Pathway to Toddler Breastfeeding Mastery
Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guideLove this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. 3

Trying to understand your fertility while you are breastfeeding your toddler is an uphill battle. 

Sure - Google abounds with tips & information about conception and contraception, but less so about conception and contraception while you are breastfeeding... and finding support for making sense of those things while you are breastfeeding a TODDLER?!  ...virtually impossible. 

But, have no fear - your toddler breastfeeding guru is here! [insert Wonder Woman gif] 

In this half hour episode I have packed in: 
Considerations for timing your next pregnancy (or not!) and how there might be factors you are unaware of that could be increasing your stress, and impacting your day-to-day breastfeeding with your toddler. Tips for supporting your sex-life while breastfeeding A simplified breakdown of the menstrual cycle, the hormones involved, AND how they are impacted by breastfeeding. What is normal (and what is not) for your period when breastfeedingWhat contraceptive methods are compatible with breastfeeding (and WHY)Support to talk about fertility drugs with your doctor (before you decide to wean)How to be empowered to understand YOUR body better...and last but not least, how to support your body to move back into fertility while you are breastfeeding. 

Make sure to hit "follow" or "subscribe" so you don't miss next week's episode all about breastfeeding through pregnancy. 

Resources mentioned in the podcast: 
https://www.infantrisk.com/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/

Resources I used in preparation for this episode: 

"The Second Baby Book"  by Sarah Ockwell Smith

"Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler

Heinig MJ, Nommsen-Rivers LA, Peerson JM, Dewey KG. Factors related to duration of postpartum amenorrhoea among USA women with prolonged lactation. J Biosoc Sci. 1994 Oct;26(4):517-27. doi: 10.1017/s0021932000021647. PMID: 7983102.

Wilcox AJ, Weinberg CR, Baird DD. Timing of sexual intercourse in relation to ovulation. Effects on the probability of conception, survival of the pregnancy, and sex of the baby. N Engl J Med. 1995 Dec 7;333(23):1517-21. doi: 10.1056/NEJM199512073332301. PMID: 7477165.



Want to learn more from me? Watch my free, instant access workshop:  Designing Your Pathway to Toddler Breastfeeding Mastery
Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guideLove this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. 3

Have you ever felt the pressure of setting specific breastfeeding goals? I know I have!  In the beginning, I felt like I had to have these concrete goals because, let's face it, everyone asks! But guess what? Once you are actually "in it" - things shift and change day-to-day and all of that concrete thinking feels a whole lot more abstract. 
In this episode, I share my journey from setting specific goals to embracing a more values-based approach... and the shift I am seeing in those I support.
Join me as I share my insights on the modern dilemma of breastfeeding goals and what it all might mean for you and your toddler.


Want to learn more from me? Watch my free, instant access workshop:  Designing Your Pathway to Toddler Breastfeeding Mastery
Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guideLove this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. 3