Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will Sarah Elkins

327 The Company We Keep
 
It’s a fact of life that we will make poor decisions, sometimes in the form of negative influences like people, often times repeatedly when we’re young. It’s normal and completely natural to make mistakes, as human beings we are allowed and expected to grow and change, rarely we are ever the same moment to moment, which is why it is vital to choose actively everyday to do your best and put your best foot forward despite all previous hardships. 
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Ricky Birkenstock discuss the importance of self awareness, growth, and taking responsibility for yourself when things are bleakest.  
 
Highlights
The past does not define you. You can use the negative experiences of your past as fuel to change your life for the better.
No matter how dark things seem you can always find or make a better place to be.
Taking responsibility for your own actions, thoughts, and wellbeing. 
Ditch the “Shoulds”
Surround yourself with people who will help you grow.
 
Quotes
“I often like to say that life gives us lots of signs when we’re going down a wrong path. And I’m not kidding, I probably had fifteen to twenty signs before this incident so this was like the climax, the universe said; “Hey man, you’ve made your bed. It’s time to go.”.”
“The first thing that happened, I was kind of grasping in the cell as I just laid there thinking about how I had created this and how I could create something better. So I was already emotionally processing these things, the big piece was actually taking responsibility for my situation. Instead of blaming anything because that’s easy to do I just finally said, “Alright man, this is me. This is my behavioral track record has lead to a conclusion so let’s find some new behaviors to create new realities.”.”
“I think it’s a whole bunch of bullshit when people say awareness is everything. we have to define it and awareness is so important because it then gives us the ability to choose. Because before you’re aware you’re just going on the unconscious programming, you’re just going through the motions, you’ve got the software system in your head that says, “Hey I do this thing.”. But now you’re aware of it and you can catch yourself.”
 
Mentioned in this episode

Podcastify.me
 
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
Who do you have in your circle, you’ve been asked this many times on this podcast, I want to know who your going to shed out of your circle, who are the people that are holding you back, and that doesn’t necessarily mean cutting them completely out of your life but it does mean making sure they aren’t influencing you in a negative way. Who will you shed from your circle, so you have room for the right people? 
And, as always, thank you for listening. 
 
About Ricky
Hey there! My name is Ricky Birkenstock! I've lived several lives in my short time on this Earth. In general, I've gone from the depths of personal pain to helping my clients explore their highest potential and achieve the level of life quality they desire. I've dubbed myself "The Life Quality Engineer."
Be sure to check out his LinkedIn and website at Ricky Birkenstock!
 
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and l

326 Giving What You Get
 
Skills and talents -our “magic”- manifest differently in everyone, but what matters is how we use these abilities to achieve our dreams and to lift up others around us. In helping others we will often find ourselves more fulfilled and happy in our daily lives.
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Alicia Branham discuss the importance of loving what you do and giving yourself the same grace you give others while also continuing to strive for the future you want.
 
Highlights
See every facet of an individual, do not pigeonhole them.
Take a chance on others and let others take a chance on you.
Give back to your team.
It’s normal to doubt yourself, imposter syndrome is very real.
 
Quotes
“That is one thing that I do with the people that I serve is that I try to be that sounding board, and that support system that you typically wouldn’t find in a marketing firm. Because I really, really care about people and I care about people’s happiness, and if I know you’re frustrated or stressed out about something and there’s something I can shed light on for you to help you see things more clearly, then I’m going to do it. Because that’s what I’m compelled to do, that’s how I serve. I want everyone to be happy and be at their best, so it’s important to me that I actually give back in that way to the people that I work with.”
“I can’t be the only woman on the planet who doesn’t see our worth.”



Mentioned in this Podcast
SCORE
 
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What is your magic? Maybe it’s time to ask somebody who knows you, that you trust, that really sees the best in you. Ask them what you bring to the table that’s different from other people, find a way to use that every single day. Because the more you work on that the more that gift, biologically, environmentally, psychologically, that was given to you becomes an actual talent. That’s where you find the most meaning and purpose in your days is by using them. 
And, as always, thank you for listening. 
 
About Alicia
 
Meet Alicia Branham, the marketing powerhouse with a story beyond business savvy.
Her journey reflects adaptability and determination, traits cultivated during her formative
years when her parents uprooted her to Uruguay.
Navigating the challenges of a new language and culture, Alicia not only embraced the
unfamiliar but thrived in it. This early experience laid the foundation for her ability to
connect with diverse audiences and approach marketing from a truly global perspective.
Alicia's journey from navigating the streets of Uruguay to conquering the digital
landscapes of marketing is a saga of resilience and cultural fluency.
It's this unique blend of personal growth and professional triumph that sets her apart in
the marketing world. As a speaker and influencer, Alicia not only shares groundbreaking
marketing strategies but also imparts the invaluable lessons learned from her multicultural
upbringing. Prepare to be captivated not just by her marketing prowess, but by the
remarkable journey that shaped Alicia Branham into the visionary marketer she is today.
Be sure to check out her LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram! As well as her website Alicia Branham!



About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivota

325 Writing Our Own Stories
 
Although hard work and dedication can get you quite far in life, it helps immeasurably to have someone at your back who believes in you and inspires you to strive towards your goals and future. Our stories, though valuable, do not define us and should be used as kindling for the fires of ambition. 
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Kïrsten Blake discuss the importance of how our stories shape our paths in life but most importantly how the people involved in our stories inspire and guide us to success.
 
Highlights
Sometimes you need to trust people to know you and perceive you in their own unique way.
The people who help you through your struggles help to define you and inspire you to grow and change, especially when dealing with an othering experience.
We don’t know where we are going until we look backwards. 
We need to experience so many different things
 
Quotes
“I think belonging is such an important aspect of my work, and so it’s not surprising that that story was what came to mind the more I think about it because, I think it informs so much of what I do, who I became, what’s important to me. I think also having a lot of compassion for little people, you know we don’t tend to see them as little humans but they are. They’re experiencing things, they’re going through things, there’s alot going on in their head, and I think as adults it’s really important for us to remember that.”
“It all makes sense when you look backwards, but when you’re in it sometimes it doesn’t.”
“We have to be in it. And I think sometimes we avoid being in it because it can feel hard and not great, and I think we as humans want to feel good and happy and joyful. But a mantra I try to live by. I'm not always great at it, being a recovering perfectionist is “Life is in the messy.” and so we have to let things be messy sometimes in order to get to that point where we are able to look backwards.”



Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What stories can you look back on as early as 6, 7, 8, years old that might inform what you’re doing today? Might help you uncover a pattern, or a reason about how you feel the way you do about something, or the passion you have for something else. I am so curious, please send me a message.
And, as always, thank you for listening. 
 
About Kïrsten
Kïrsten Blake is a certified Narrative Coach, facilitator, speaker, and creator & founder of Chapter BE. She works with individuals, teams, and organizations to develop a deeper sense of self-awareness in service of transformation and connection. The work includes examining internal stories in order to better connect with themselves and others, so they can tap into a more mindful, authentic state of being. Her coaching, workshops and programs have provided leaders and individuals with the opportunity, support, and space to design more connected teams, workplaces, and lives.
Be sure to check out Kïrsten’s LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook! As well as her website Chapter Be and The Being Of A Nation!
 
About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept

324 Facets of Value
 
Valuing every facet of where you work, especially if you work with other people, is vital to the survival and prosperity of any company. From treating your customers with integrity and respect, to rewarding the hard work and dedication of loyal and valuable employees, in order to thrive in the world as a business you must value every facet of that business.
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Blake Hutchison discuss the importance of appreciating the skills and abilities of everyone in a company, while also giving the absolute best to customers and the public.
 
Highlights
How are others receiving your story? Why are you sharing particular stories?
Discovering your identity and learning new experiences through travel.
You learn a lot about individuals through time observing their behaviors and attributes.
You never know how helpful, loyal, and incredibly valuable an individual can be unless you give them a chance.
You never know how many opportunities you can have if you show care for your job and how you present yourself.
The first interaction a customer should have with your company should be with someone who cares.



Quotes
“You change as a person when you go and you travel.”
“You develop an empathy for customers because you are so close to them through the retail and hospitality context.”
“It was a function of, first I’ll think about how much time I’ve put in versus what that customer needs from me right now. And that little bit of extra care and empathy ends up giving you a bit more willingness and want to help a customer too, and that can be missing sometimes but when it’s there it’s really powerful.”
“I think the difference is related to whether you put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, or you only ever walk in your own. Walking in your own creates for a very narrow minded approach to doing work or living a fulfilled life, and walking in other people’s shoes gives you agility and flexibility and understanding and ultimately gives you empathy. And so part of it is do you work for yourself, do you work for the team, do you work for the company, or do you work for the customer?”



Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
What did you take from this conversation? Was it something about wanting to travel, do you have the travel bug again? Was it something about a new business or an idea you have that maybe you need to make that next step because thinking about it isn’t going to start it. And who are you going to surround yourself with, because if you are a thinker and not necessarily a doer, you need some doers in your circle.
And, as always, thank you for listening. 
 
About Blake
BLAKE HUTCHISON - CEO OF FLIPPA
Blake Hutchison is the CEO of Flippa, the world's largest marketplace to buy & sell online businesses. Blake leads the team as they build out a product empowering exit and ownership for business owners and entrepreneurs globally. Prior to running Flippa, Blake held leadership roles across multiple fast-growth tech businesses across E-commerce and SaaS.
Be sure to check out Blake’s LinkedIn as well as Flippa, Flippa’s Referral Program, and Flippa’s Online Business Valuation! 



About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to

323 Authentic Connections
 
Authentic connections can be difficult to find, whether it be from not being taught the skills to form these connections or simply losing touch with former acquaintances, it can be difficult but not impossible and with the proper tools and a heartfelt message, authentic connections can be found anywhere. 
In today’s episode Sarah Elkins and Amy Daughters discuss the importance of authentic connections and how having meaningful conversations with individuals can lead to long term relationships.
 
Highlights
You’ll never know how profound a connection can be unless you reach out.
It only takes a thoughtful act to change not just the person receiving, but the person giving.
In the age of social media it’s more important than ever to treat people like individuals with their own stories and burdens they carry.
Act with love in your heart, and encourage others to do the same. 
 
Quotes
“It’s generally accepted that if you write me and tell me that you care about me and value me, that I’m the one that walks away the person most changed. But the reality, and I learned this 580 times, You’re the person who’s the most changed. The person who is releasing that thank you, that congratulations. Because I went from saying “What am I going to even say in these letters?” to once I looked at their profile and once I realized who they were to me, all of a sudden I had so much stuff to say; Thank you, I’m sorry, Congratulations, I support you. And I started to see all these things that were going on in people’s lives that I couldn’t see in the news feed that I had to treat people one person at a time.”
“The handwriting is somebody’s personality but it’s also the physical manifestation of how somebody feels about you and how it made you feel.” 
“I think what we try do is we try to put everyone else in our own little box, you know whatever it is that you feel like you’re inspired to do. I was inspired to do that, but everyone is inspired to do something, they have a moment in their heart where they’re like, “Oh that’s what I want to do.” We got to encourage each other to do that.”
 
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
Remember that title; Your Stories Don’t Define You But How You Tell Them Will. What are the stories that people can tell about you based on what you take from this conversation? Think about the stories people are telling about Dana and Parker, and about Amy, that they’ll never know and yet continue to create this ripple effect of connecting beyond the keyboard. Connecting authentically in a way that makes people feel seen and heard. What will you do? What is your next step? 
And, as always, thank you for listening. 
 
About Amy
Amy Weinland Daughters, Award-Winning Author and Keynote Speaker, believes in a world where what makes us different is the very thing that connects us, instead of separates us. She brings that world to life by helping people reconnect to each other through the power of hand-written letters. She brings her wit, humor, and having written 580 handwritten letters to every single one of her Facebook friends, to show you how you can find deep connections in some of the most unexpected places.
Be sure to check out Amy’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram!



About Sarah
"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."
In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.
My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to

322 Give Yourself Grace
 
To give yourself grace for mistakes you’ve made or for expectations that seem unattainable is something that can be more daunting than many of us want to admit. As difficult as it can be to be gracious with ourselves in order for us to grow and thrive as human beings, it is vital that we do be patient with ourselves and own our mistakes or failed expectations so that we can grow.
In this episode Sarah Elkins and Nikki Campbell discuss the importance of resilience, growth, and grace with ourselves because everything we do starts with us and if we aren’t at our best we cannot give our best. Nikki Campbell brings warmth, understanding, and resilience to the discussion, telling many stories from her own life and how through her own strength and the love of those around her she was able to grow into who she is today.
 
Highlights
We can’t always explain why certain things in our past happen, but what we can do is use these things to give us the strength to follow our dreams.
“You can either let it dissolve you or you can let it evolve you.”
Our experiences are all relative.
Parts of your story may not be so happy, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is how you reframe your thoughts and choose a sustainable way of life that determines the rest of your story.
You’re not living if you don’t have gremlins, or a similarly named thing trying to stop you from achieving your goals.
 
Quotes
“After sustaining any sort of type of trauma, whether it’s; psychological, physical, whatever. There are things that you can have as a secondary characteristic, maybe it’s some anxiety, maybe it’s memories that trigger you, or things of that nature, and you can either let it dissolve you or you can let it evolve you.”
“It’s through her very gentle yet, I’ll say firm, way of speaking my thoughts back to me. It wasn’t until I had a therapist who did that did I realize; wow that’s not true. It’s the thought of like, if someone were to say to you what you say to yourself, what would your reaction be?”
“I’m not going to apologize for how I am or who I am because it got me to where I am today.”
“You need to have grace with yourself and know that you’re not always going to do things right. It took me a long time to do that for myself is to give myself grace. That, “Okay I said that, I did that, I got to give myself a break but I also need to learn how to move forward. Instead of sitting in it.”.”
 
Dear Listeners it is now your turn,
Were you sitting here in the living room with us and drinking some hot tea or coffee? When you think about the things you need to give yourself grace for? What are the gremlins you can shoo from your consciousness? Which are the gremlins that are really stopping you from moving forward? And how can you manage when you do do something wrong, manage that so that it doesn’t occur again. What lessons can you learn from it? And who do you know that you contribute to, to their learning and their growth as a result of claiming your own?
And, as always, thank you for listening. 
 
About Nikki
Nikki Campbell
MS, NASM-CPT, BCS, CNC, ACSM-CIFT
Nikki is a long-standing fitness and wellness professional with 15+ years of industry experience: She is a Certified Personal Trainer, Behavior Change Specialist, and Nutrition Coach through the National Academy of Sports Medicine, and a Certified Inclusive Fitness Trainer through the American College of Sports Medicine. Nikki holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Recreation Therapy and a Master’s Degree in Exercise Science and Health Promotion with an emphasis on Sports Performance and Injury Prevention. She has seven years of experience working as a Wellness Coach at Mayo Clinic, and has held various programmatic positions within the disabled sports industry. Nikki’s passion for assisting in the improvement of one’s physical and mental health has spanned throughout he