Agnes & Leona agnesandleona

Annnnnnnnnd, we're back. Yeah yeah, we know. It's been a while. All we can say is: 2020
 
But trust us, we're back with the same Statler & Waldorf vibes we always had, and the burning question: What in the ACTUAL fuck is "Farmcore". Apparently the hills are alive with terrible clothing, and we need to talk about it. Leona seems to think that the runway lands in the closet, whereas Agnes disagrees. 
Also, there may or may not have been an incident where one of us shaved off half an eyebrow. It's ok. It's all in the name of "Fashion".
 
Oh, how we've missed you. Especially our forever faithful listeners in Germany. Sending virtual hugs from our grandmacore hearts. 
 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/vincent/39-reasons-youre-grandmacore
 
#farmcore #cottagecore #grandmacore #fashion #nordstrom #homedepot #comedy #statlerandwaldorf #agnesandleona #eyebrowmalfunction #hugeingermany 

When you think of etiquette, you may think that Emily Post wrote the book. You're not wrong, but did you know that there's a WAY more hilariously offensive tome on the topic? Welcome to the Ethel Cotton Course on Conversation... and trust us, it's quite the conversation piece itself.
But even MORE exciting than this mid-century lesson in how to be deranged is the fact that we're joined by "the third one". The one who has lived so many of these adventures with us. The one who hates pants the most. We've escaped north, gathered our little coven together, and podcast to you from that undisclosed location where there are three pantless women cooking and brewing trouble. Meet Florence... Flo for short. The three of us dive into the world of Ethel, learn how to describe a cock in great detail, and Agnes gets real fired up about taupe... the color of giving up. 
 
Also, we have a new name for you - our listeners. Henceforth, we shall refer to you as our "hearers". See, maybe Ethel wasn't all bad. 
 
We're sorry if you're listening to this in a taupe room. Just close your eyes... it'll be ok. 
https://www.architecturelab.net/what-is-taupe-color/
 
We're wondering if Martha Stewart knows about Ethel... in the mean time, you read up on what Emily's rules were:
https://www.marthastewart.com/1512296/you-can-thank-emily-post-for-these-rules-of-etiquette
 

If a serial killer has the best of intentions, is he really so bad? Dexter was likable enough... eh? Ok, settle down- no one is murdering people here. But plants... that's another story. This week we delve into the heart and mind of Agnes as she grapples with her crimes against plants. Leona has been trying to rehab her for years, but with mediocre results at best. It all boils down to one thing: obstinance. Or maybe it's "determined optimism!" either way, she's shouldn't be left alone with plants. But she means well... she really does. But then again, so did Dexter...
 
In case you have no idea who Dexter is: https://dexter.fandom.com/wiki/Dexter_(show)
It's not just Agnes. HGTV is obsessed too: https://www.hgtv.com/outdoors/flowers-and-plants/herbs/benefits-of-lavender
How to cope with Agnes and her stubbornness: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/12-ways-deal-with-stubborn-people-and-convince-them-listen.html
 
 
#podcast #agnesandleona #bestfriends #plantkiller #plantmurder #obstinant #stubborn #lavendergrowing #gardentips #makeyourgardengrow #deadtings #comedy #satire #andwereback #dexter #HGTV #growgood #lavenderfarm #onlythestrongsurvive #desertliving #planthospice

We're so excited to have our very first SPECIAL GUEST! Meet Sloan... aka "Ebony Hannah" if we're using our porn names. He's pretty amazing, as are his stories of hiking after WAY too much cheese. And there also may have been a minor incident with cat-fishing some hippies up in red rock country. We're not entirely sure, but seems like something we would do. So kick back, have some nachos and listen as Leona, aka "Barnacle Bushnell", and Agnes aka "Tootsie Breakneck" laugh through another episode. 
 
Need your own nacho recipe? Yep. 
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a51518/nachos-supreme-recipe/
 
#specialguest #gueststar #podcast #newepisode #comedy #nachos #lactoseintolerant #hiking #sedona #redrocks #getoutside #terribleidea #jalapenomargarita #lookaway #homesignage #zitpopping #funny #threescompany #pornnames 

Did you know that people can have more than one child?? Revolutionary concept! THANK GOD there are people brave enough to podcast about it. We are not those people. Also, GTFO with your nonsense. And while we're ranting, all you "masterminds" can suck it too. For the record, spouting off an opinion on a experience that is broadly shared and easily obtained doesn't make you an EXPERT. It makes you an asshole. You know how we know...? Because we podcast too... but we promise we're not experts. Except when it comes to clearing out your colon with spicy food. (Weren't expect such a hard left turn, were ya?)
 
We are not doctors and this is not medical advice:
https://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/food-poisoning/what-is-e-coli#1
 
#podcast #parenting #mastermind #gtfo #stfu #experts #cleanse #indianfood #motherhood #hypocrites #bestfriends #comedy #settledown #lifestyleblogger #getarealjob #theunfollowing #agnesandleona #statlerandwaldorf

Would you pee on your best friend? You're damn right you would! Intentionally, because she swam through a school of jellyfish... get the mind out of the gutter, you freak. This week we're back, and we're all over the damn place. Don't mind us while we rant a moment about people refusing to wear masks (Darwin Awards to follow), but really dive in (pun totally intended) when it comes to needing a vacation. An adrenaline filled, salt water drenched, oh my god is this how we die, vacation. Join us for a trip back to one of our favorite vacations... ah, the Philippines. Best of luck bitches. #BOLB
 
If you're a Freinds-o-phile, you know where we're coming from with the pee... 
https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/jellyfish-pee/
 
IF you go to the Philippines, make your peace with God, like Lieutenant Dan: 
https://youtu.be/HqAbjHKO5jM?t=19
 
#forestgump #lieutenantdan #barracuda #storm #snorkle #findingnemo #vacation #traveltips #adventurefriends #islandlife #survivor #podcast #comedy #bestfriends #coven #bestofluckbitches #puthemaskon #friends #seaurchin #charliesangles #sexinthecity #delusional #instantkarma #jellyfish #ivebeenstung #michaelphelps #walkonwater #podcast