Dare To Share Your Untold Story Salima Jadavji

Phoenix grew up in East Germany, still communist in 1972 with an enabling father, growing up being parented with a narcissistic mother she explains. Phoenix shares that she grew up in darkness, and her mother was lost within herself, not knowing her own identity, Phoenix slowly started to get to know herself, and as she did this, she felt she was shedding light on herself. Phoenix expressed that she really struggled to sort out who she was and what she wanted to be and felt that she was not lovable. Her childhood experiences led her to feel unworthy, insignificant, and small. She explained how she was unable to foster healthy relationships or understand how to manage conflict, or cope with difficult people and situations. Phoenix indicates that any relationship she entered, fell apart due to her insecurities and unfinished business with her prior life growing up. Phoenix shared a narrative that was running on repeat for herself was she was not enough, love could only be conditional, and this led her to learning art and precision in walking on eggshells. She later moved to West Germany, and later at the age of 21, she moved to New York to be a dancer, and found a way to express herself through dance. Along her journey, Phoenix believed that to be loved, she needed to be what the other wanted her to be. Her auto response became tuning in with every moment and plan her expressions based on what she thought they wanted her to say and how she was expected to behave. Phoenix admits that this was a mask, and this was not her authentic self, this way of expressing herself that she learned was not conscious, but felt the need to wear a mask, deeply entrenched in mass insecurities and filled with self-doubt. Her key message to the listeners is that: healing can happen, believe it; darkness may show up, but it’s not as scary as you think; look at yourself with more courage and fall in love with who you are; you are not alone, whatever you are suffering, you can hide it successfully, but it’s too isolating; isolation creates more shame; ask for help and break the pattern.
Visit Dare to Heal to find out more.
Guest Shoutouts:
Free Radical Self-Love Practice
Facebook Group for Women
Guest Links:
Instagram: Instagram
Facebook: Phoenix Facebook Page
Website: Free Coffee Chat with Phoenix
LinkedIn: LinkedIn
YouTube: Youtube

In his early 20’s, Sergio was living his best life, while performing well in secure employment that was inclusive of salary, pension, benefits, vacation time and all the bells and whistles. Sergio was excelling in his career, landing achievements and promotions, and studying part time. His life took a sharp turn after he sustained severe injuries following a car accident as a passenger coming home from his birthday celebration. Given the driver went into shock, Sergio was the one to make the 911 call to get help, realizing that he was unable to move his body. Sergio shares details of the time it took to get back moving with ease and what it took to get his mobility to increase while his pain level decreased, he found a way to shed fear, anger, and resentment. There were many themes and obstacles that Sergio faced during his rehabilitation journey and transitioning back into his work life, describing a time where he felt like a “disabled guy”. After undergoing his second surgery to remove the hardware put in, he came to heads with seeing limitations in being able to live life the way he did pre-accident. Filled with sadness and despair, Sergio felt behind, self-defeated in areas of his career and healing relationships. Through the thick of it, Sergio described his mental health at the time was impacted by intense anxiety and minor depression, experiencing sadness as he was not able to do the things he enjoyed, performing differently in the workplace, facing irrational fears, and difficulty being a passenger in a vehicle with any driver. His key message to the listeners is that: it is important to slow down because if you are on the go on a regular basis, it can get you into some trouble; even when you want to be in a hurry, you need to slow down, there’s benefit to slowing down, take time to think things through; there is no need to get somewhere so quickly, it can actually slow you down in ways you can’t expect or desire.
 

Sarah delves into a moment when she was 10 years old experiencing her very first panic attack, not knowing what it was at the time. Growing up in a Christian faith, Sarah believed that she would get the support she needed given her belief that God helps to overcome the sensations of panic – the promise of faith. She later experienced depression in her first year of university when she experienced 3 losses in her life from suicide, heart disease and cancer. The latter was her maternal grandmother whom she saw go through it and then was unable to attend the funeral after she lost her grandmother. At school Sarah suffered a sports injury, which led to losing her hockey scholarship, which prompted her transfer to another University in Ontario. Sarah had a moment of deep understanding after the passing of her grandmother that she needed help to work on her mental wellbeing outside of her many supports at the time. After she completed her undergraduate studies, she reconnected with a friend learning that she was a victim of human trafficking, and after learning this, Sarah panicked that she would lose another person from her life. Sarah wanted to help, at the same time, she didn’t feel credible to help with the issue. After having conversations with others, and Sarah started to catch audiences, it inspired her to compete for the Miss Canada pageantry, while she had to work through imposter syndrome to take the initiative forward, she believed she could through pageantry, and focusing on the cause that she is raising awareness for – anti human trafficking. Her key message to the listeners is that: find out where your identity is; ask yourself what defines you; where are you placing your time, energy and resources and can you potentially reallocate these; remember that you are so loved, even when you don’t feel it.
 

Sonia’s untold story revolves around her breast cancer diagnosis starting in 2017. She experienced physical and emotional trauma combined with heightened feelings. She had to work hard to overcome overwhelming thoughts and emotional pain when dealing with relationships during her cancer journey. This experience has been eye-opening, particularly in learning who she can rely on as her backbone and who she felt she still needed to support while under-going her own duress. Outwardly, Sonia was perceived to be a strong individual even during her time of challenge, she repeatedly heard the comment, “you got this”, from those around her. She echoed the sentiment herself and kept busy with projects, with the aim to distract her mind. However, internally, her reality was starkly different. Sonia harboured intense fear and anxiety, and kept these and other tough emotions to herself, she didn’t want to bother anyone with her internal experience. The internal struggle took a toll on Sonia. The constant stress she suffered with on the inside, manifested physically on the outside as brain fog, physical exhaustion and felt she needed to keep it together as much as possible. Sonia shared that only few people really showed up for her to support her the way she needed to be, sharing that she felt ignored by many and felt like she didn’t matter. There were some instances she described, where people couldn’t hear her talk about her cancer experience, and these same individuals were not there for her during her time of difficulty. This further affected Sonia as she chose to isolate more to protect herself emotionally, and truly felt that she and her journey of what she underwent medically was not a big deal, resulting in minimizing her true experience. Her key message to the listeners is that: it’s okay not to feel okay, learn this; stop pretending and stop spending time in this energy zapping space; go through your feels; be kind to yourself; do the best you can and remind yourself of this regularly; have gratitude for yourself; process the pain and don’t store it in different places in your body; slow down and process what you are experiencing.
 

Her untold story reveals the levels of toxicity and bullying Stephanie experienced as she entered
the workforce in a professional capacity, the way in which she tolerated workplace harassment,
and how she eventually learned to handle the distress she endured. Stephanie shared that while
her work role was at an established organization and she was not doing any physical labour, she
found that the emotional and mental toll she experienced because of the workplace toxicity and
negative environment was a great deal of physical impact. She describes feeling extreme fatigue
and burnout, headaches, stomach discomfort, high and low emotions, crying spells, all while not
knowing how she was being treated at work was harassment and toxic and also not being able to
recognize that what she was experiencing was a cause for concern. She assumed this is what
work life was supposed to be like. With all the suffering that Stephanie underwent, she ended up
requiring a medical leave, later being let go from her position. During the peak of her distress,
she was affected by imposter syndrome, and it chipped away at her confidence and her inner
resiliency. She noticed that her personal interactions were impacted, she was not able to stay
present for conversations and events, Stephanie described feeling so low that it was difficult for
her to feel joy. Overall, she explained that she felt completely isolated, alone, didn’t think that
anyone else would understand, even her close friends, and she ended up staying in a negative
feedback loop for some time. Her key message to the listeners is that: pay attention to your gut
and the signals your body gives you; put healthy boundaries in place for yourself and speak up
when you experience that something is not okay; if you are experiencing burnout, this is a red
flag – so it needs to be addressed at its earliest; don’t ignore your internal experiences, because if
you do, it will be detrimental to your health or life circumstances, instead – take action.

Anthony dives right in to share how what he experienced from childhood to adulthood greatly
influenced his present-day life. It began at the tender young age of six and carried forward
until adulthood with multiple and continuous experiences of how he was impacted and
influenced in his achievements and failures. When he arrived in Canada, he provided details
of how he felt he had to start from the ground up again. After he retired, he developed an
illness that kept him wheelchair bound, he later endured a wheelchair accident, where he was
struck by a motorist while Anthony was taking his dog for a walk, which has limited his
accessibility. Given that he was born at a time and place where poverty was rampant, social
stratification and feeling at the bottom, themes that consistently showed up for him were
about continuously having to restart, not fitting in, and keeping himself small. He took time to
describe how he felt like a burden at times and full of inadequacy, and even though he
believes he has healed a great deal of the trauma, Anthony constantly feels that he relives the
trauma from his past. He explained his desperate attempts to prove himself and contend with
the feelings of unworthiness and the on-going struggles, so he really felt the need to work
extra hard to be accepted. This led him to have on-going battles with self-doubt, having bouts
of depression, intense worrying and rivaling with imposter syndrome. His key message to the
listeners is that: we are all broken in some way, whether you are missing something, shifting
from something, or feeling incomplete in some way and yet each person is resilient and can
overcome struggles; it takes time and effort; you have the right to be happy, it’s in your reach;
it’s your right to seek happiness and accept nothing less; it’s not over until it’s over.