Living With Your Child's Addiction Heather Ross

In this podcast episode, guest Mike Brown, president and founder of the Never Use Alone Hotline (NUA), shares his journey from substance use to becoming a recovery advocate. Mike started NUA in response to his experience with the treatment industry, focusing on harm reduction and overdose prevention. NUA operates as a peer-led nonprofit, offering support to individuals using substances alone through human connection and non-judgmental assistance. NUA operates nationwide and has partnered with emergency services to ensure timely assistance if needed.



Mike addresses common barriers to calling the hotline, such as
lack of trust, and emphasizes the importance of trusted sources sharing information about NUA. He also discusses misconceptions about harm reduction and enabling, highlighting the service's focus on providing connection, support, and hope to callers.



Throughout the discussion, Mike emphasizes the critical role of
human connection and compassion in supporting individuals struggling with substance use, challenging traditional approaches to addiction treatment, and advocating for harm reduction practices.



In this episode you will learn:


The importance of human connection and non-judgmental
support in harm reduction and overdose prevention.
Details about the services provided by NUA and how callers
are assisted during substance use.
Misconceptions about harm reduction and enabling, are clarified through Mike's perspective.
Success stories from NUA, showcasing the impact of the
hotline in saving lives.

Contact Never Use Alone

https://neverusealone.com/

Call Never Use Alone 877-696-1996 your Overdose Prevention Lifeline.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM -  Peace of Mind Group for moms
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below
https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the group Heather is hosting.
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/invitation-to-change-group/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/




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Licensed Clinical Social Worker Lara Okoloko and Heather discuss the delicate balance of influence and autonomy in parent-child relationships, particularly in the context of addiction. Lara empathizes with parents caught in the bind of being blamed for the negative aspects of enabling without receiving any credit for the positive influence they may have.
She shares personal insights, reflecting on the power dynamics and responsibilities that come with being a helper, the importance of respect and autonomy in relationships, and the need for a balanced approach to supporting loved ones with substance use disorder.
Her passion for reducing stigma and respecting self-determination in supporting individuals with substance use disorders is evident.
With Lara's expertise and relatable experiences, this episode offers valuable insights and a fresh perspective on navigating the complexities of parent-child relationships and supporting loved ones through their recovery journey.
In this episode, you will be able to:

Uncover the impact of mixed messages when supporting a
loved one with substance use disorder, and how to navigate them effectively.
Embrace humility and respect in relationships to
strengthen your role in your loved one's recovery journey.
Explore the influence and autonomy in parent-child
relationships, and how to strike a healthy balance.
Discover the profound impact of helpers' words and
actions on the recovery journey of their loved ones.


Contact Lara: https://www.caresnw.com/


Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM -  Peace of Mind Group for moms
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below
https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the group Heather is hosting.
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/invitation-to-change-group/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/





The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:02 - Introduction to Laura Okoloko

00:01:26 - Mixed Messages for Parents

00:02:52 - Lack of Positive Influence Recognition

00:05:43 - Influence vs. Control

00:16:36 - Balancing Autonomy and Support

00:18:57 - The Importance of Humility in Coaching

00:22:04 - Finding the Balance of Influence

00:23:36 - Using Influence Deliberately

00:26:33 - Understanding Power Dynamics

00:29:51 - Defining Success in Relationships

00:36:39 - The Power of Words in Helping Relationships

00:38:53 - Power Dynamics in Relationships

00:40:12 - Normalizing Control in Uncontrollable Situations

00:41:45 - Redesigning Support for Substance Use Disorders

00:43:16 - Closing Thoughts and Reflections


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Your Questions Answered. A few months back, Heather reached out to her Facebook group to inquire about their burning questions on eating disorders. Why? Because navigating a child's struggle with both substance use and an eating disorder can feel like playing an endless game of whack-a-mole. Just as you address one issue, another one seems to surface. Eating disorders are often as misunderstood as substance use, which is why Heather has been on the lookout for the perfect expert to address your concerns.

Our guest, Alice Baker, is a seasoned professional in the field of eating disorders and is a registered dietitian, licensed therapist, and certified eating disorder specialist with more than 27 years of experience. Alice's personal journey of recovery has fueled her unwavering commitment to supporting individuals on their path to healing. She embraces a weight-inclusive approach and trauma-informed practice, advocating for a peaceful relationship with food and body. Additionally, Alice has adapted the Invitation to Change approach to provide education and support to the families she works with.

From this episode you will:


Understand different approaches to eating disorder treatment and find what works best for
your loved one.
Discover the impact of parental influence on eating disorders and how to support
positive change.
Learn how to model healthy behaviors for children to promote a positive relationship
with food and body image.
Prioritize self-care as a parent to better support your child's healing process.

 

Alice Baker contact information:

Provides therapy for residents of
Arizona and Florida.

As a dietician, she can work with
anybody in Arizona, Florida, Colorado, Virginia, and Michigan.

AliceLBaker@gmail.com

Website: https://alicelbaker.com/

Instagram: @alicebakerrd

 

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

BOUNDARIES THAT CREATE CONNECTION MASTERCLASS

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-masterclass/



GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/



Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the group Heather is hosting.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The ITC Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Alice Baker's background
00:02:59 - Adapting "Invitation to Change" for eating disorders
00:04:12 - Personal experience with daughter's eating disorder and substance
use
00:09:48 - Importance of supporting those with co-occurring eating and
substance use disorders
00:18:11 - Eating disorders in boys and men
00:19:17 - Underlying Causes of Eating Disorders
00:21:35 - Effective Treatment Approaches
00:22:43 - Empowering Parents
00:29:48 - Overcoming Malnourished Brain
00:35:31 - Supporting Families
00:37:41 - Changing Relationship with Food
00:38:29 - Setting Boundaries
00:39:42 - Tailoring Approach for Older Children

 

 




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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heather-ross9/message

Do you want regret free interactions and a stronger connection with your child? The art of authentic communication takes you from resentment to connection. You can find out how to achieve this result while taking care of yourself.

This podcast episode takes an emotional turn, as the host shares her journey of self-awareness and vulnerability. The episode doesn't just offer valuable advice for parents; it's a deeply personal exploration of the nuance of connection.


In this episode, you will:


Learn how nurturing personal needs cultivates
self-awareness and helps us deal with discomfort without reacting negatively.
Uncover the key to building meaningful connections with
your child.
Understand your child's unique definition of connection
and how it can strengthen your bond.
Learn how to communicate your feelings respectfully and
responsibly.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching



GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/



Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the group Heather is hosting.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The ITC Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/



Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - The Power of Connection
Heather discusses the importance of connection in relationships, especially when dealing with a loved one struggling with addiction. She emphasizes the art of connection and its influence.

00:02:25 - Updates to the Peace of Mind Program
Heather shares updates to her group coaching program, making it more accessible and accommodating for members in different time zones. She also highlights the added benefits for members, including recorded calls and a free boundary master
class.

00:06:14 - Redefining Connection
Heather explores a mother's guilt about not connecting with her son and shares
her own experience with her daughter, Helena. She emphasizes the importance of
taking time for oneself and sharing feelings from a clean space to foster a
healthy connection.

00:08:24 - The Power of Vulnerability
Heather shares a personal story about expressing her disappointment and worry
to Helanna in a calm and loving manner, which led to a deeper connection and
open communication. She contrasts this with unhealthy ways of expressing
emotions, highlighting the power of vulnerability in building connections.

00:19:24 - The Impact of Words on Connection
Heather reflects on how her past words and actions affected her daughter, Helanna, and acknowledges her responsibility in managing her emotions for a deeper connection.

00:22:07 - Definition of Connection
Heather shares her definition of connection, emphasizing trust, respect, and self-awareness in maintaining a meaningful bond with a child struggling with substance use.

00:23:32 - Importance of Self-Care in Connection
Heather highlights the importance of self-care and authentic communication in maintaining a strong connection with a child, even in challenging circumstances, and understanding their perspective on connection.

00:26:35 - Acceptance and Support
Heather discusses the importance of accepting a child's behavior and providing unwavering support, even during times of substance abuse, to establish a connection based on love and understanding.

00:27:46 - Compassion and Awareness
Heather encourages self-compassion and self-awareness, urging parents to acknowledge their areas of improvement

The pain of feeling disconnected from your child can be overwhelming, but there are powerful ways to shift your approach and create the deep, meaningful connection you desire. Empathy, compassion, and effective communication are at the root of human connection. They’re also a critical component of shaping your experience of your child’s addiction.

When you access painful memories with feelings of guilt, blame, and shame you block connection because that creates cycles of defensive behaviors, avoidance, negative self-perception, and emotional withdrawal. Every time you access a memory you distort it. That means you can increase the negative emotional charge of a memory as you ruminate about it creating a profound
impact on your relationship with your child, your past, present, and your future. In this episode, Heather illustrates how to break free from those negative patterns and shape your experience intentionally to create a connection with yourself and your child.

In this episode, you will learn:  


 How distorting your painful memories perpetuates suffering and what to do instead.   
Why your brain likes to blame.      
How to take control of your own experiences to positively influence your relationship with your child.       
The power of thoughts, beliefs, and memories to transform your parenting approach.

 

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the group Heather is hosting.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The ITC Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠



GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/



Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/



Timestamps:
00:00:00 - The Power of Thoughts and Memories

Heather discusses the power of thoughts, beliefs, and memories, especially in the context of processing trauma, such as the loss of her daughter, Helanna. She emphasizes the impact of memories on our experiences and the potential for distortion.
00:01:00 - Distorted Memories and Trauma
Heather delves into the idea of distorted memories, highlighting how recollections of events can become less precise with each retrieval, potentially leading to the formation of false memories. She also discusses how trauma amplifies this distortion.

00:06:43 - The Impact of Thoughts and Beliefs
Heather explores the connection between thoughts, beliefs, and memories, emphasizing their influence on our recollection of past events. She highlights the potential for changing past perceptions and how it can shape our present and future experiences.
00:17:41 - Transforming Memories with Compassion
Heather encourages intentional thought choices to infuse past experiences with empathy, leading to a more optimistic
present and future.


00:20:31 - Managing Emotional Triggers
Heather discusses the impact of negative memories triggering emotional responses. She contrasts two scenarios, highlighting the importance of curiosity and compassion in managing emotional triggers.


00:21:38 - Reliving the Past
Heather explains how reliving negative memories can perpetuate anger and emotional turmoil.


00:22:58 - Shifting Perspectives
Heather delves into the power of intentional thinking and reflective processing.


00:23:40 - Taking Control
Heather emphasizes the control individuals have over their experiences, despite not being able to control their children's behavior. She highlights the

Does this sound familiar? As a parent of a child struggling with addiction, you may have been told to use tough love and set strict rules to help them recover. However, this approach can often lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, and helplessness as you watch your child continue to struggle or get worse. It's time to discover a more effective and compassionate approach to
supporting your child in their recovery journey.

Join us as we explore Kathleen Cochran's journey of navigating her child's addiction. Find out how her maternal instincts led her to embrace harm reduction principles. Kathleen's story offers a unique perspective that resonates deeply with parents facing similar struggles. Listen in to uncover the powerful impact of Kathleen's journey and discover how her newfound understanding can offer support and empathy to parents navigating similar paths.

In this episode, you will be able to:    


 Discover effective addiction recovery and support strategies for parents. 
Learn how to apply a harm-reduction approach to support your child.    
Explore the benefits of online support for parents in similar situations.
Learn how to guide your child through addiction
with love.

Kathleen's FB Group Moms for All Paths to Recovery https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsforallpaths

Kathleen's blog https://momsforallpaths.substack.com/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting in January! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting or sign up for the waitlist.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The Invitation To Change Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


Follow Heather on Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow Heather on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠





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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heather-ross9/message