SOM Talks State of Mind Sport

The SOM Talks Podcast is BACK! This series focusses on the lives of our Rugby League referees. In episode two, our host George Riley speaks to Tara Jones who recently made history as the first woman to referee a senior domestic professional Rugby League fixture in the Northern Hemisphere.

Leading Super League referee Liam Moore has opened up on the mental strength required to perform at the elite level, disclosing his own toughest moments and the methods he and the RFL match officials use to deal with abuse.

 

In the first episode of an exclusive new podcast series from the mental fitness charity State of Mind Sport, the World Club Challenge referee discusses the reality of life in the spotlight for one of sport’s most maligned professions, and reveals how the team of match officials support each other on and off the pitch.

 

Moore tells host George Riley how finding refereeing gave him a purpose, and explains how he is able to thrive in a profession that comes with incessant abuse both in person and online. 

 

“You have got to be pretty mentally strong to shut noise out,” says Moore.

 

“It is very rare that people are going to actually congratulate referees, praise referees. I don’t go looking for that.  I just try to keep away from the noise. The people who review the games in the match officials department – it is their opinion that really matters. You just have to park the noise and that comes with experience and being round the block a bit – understanding how to switch off and go again.

 

“Being a referee, one thing you are guaranteed to face is adversity. There is a lot of adversity along the way, a lot of disappointments, a lot of errors you will make, difficult conversations and difficult moments. If you can prepare yourself in such a way that you are stable with your home life, you have your people around you that give you unconditional support. 

 

“There are nine of us now within the full-time group and all of us will go through difficult moments, sometimes through no fault of ours, we will be headline news or people will be talking about us. Sharing those experiences and - with some of the younger guys  - passing that experience on and being a listening ear. 'I have been through this, I’m possibly going to go through it again, this is how I dealt with it, if you need to talk to somebody talk to me'. You have got to have people around you that you can trust, that is really important for referees because we are on the frontline of it."

 

In a frank and wide-ranging interview in the first episode of the new SOM Talks series, Moore also reveals the role that refereeing has played in managing his own physical health and urges anyone hurling abuse at officials to stop and think about what they are doing. 

 

“I think most fair-minded people see being a referee as a difficult job. I would just ask that people  - if they ever confront themselves with criticism of referees - just try to put yourself in the shoes of the referee, whether that is in the middle of a difficult decision where you have 26 people in fighting, put yourself in that moment and ask yourself if you could do that job. And if the answer is no then maybe give the referee a little bit more breathing room and a bit more understanding. 

 

“When I started refereeing I was at school and carrying a lot of weight,” Moore reveals.

 

“I was 15 stone when I first started refereeing when I was just ready to leave school. I lost a lot of weight refereeing in a couple of years, over two stone. I knew that the weight I was at I was never going to get any higher than community level. I knew I needed to get fitter to develop as an official, that was one of the motivations to get fit and lose weight.

 

“A couple of years later fitness was one of my biggest strengths, so I turned a weakness into a real positive. Unless you are fit enough to keep up with players at a certain level you have a glass ceiling, Fitness isn’t everything but it is key to progressing as an official."

 

SOM Talks: Referees is the brand new series from the award-winning mental health and fitness charity State of Mind Sport.

Hosted by George Riley, each episode explores themes in line with the unique challenges

Rugby superstar Sam Tomkins has revealed how he’s dealt with a career of online abuse and detailed the plans he has put in place for his retirement from professional sport.

The England international, who won three Grand Finals and two Challenge Cup trophies with Wigan, opens up to host George Riley in the official SOM Talks podcast from leading mental fitness charity State of Mind Sport.

Tomkins, 32, reveals he will end his playing days in France, where he is currently starring for Super League leaders Catalans Dragons, and admits he has learned lessons from players who have failed to plan for their futures, including Great Britain ace Leon Pryce.

“I would like to retire here in France,” he says.

“We are really settled. My two boys are in school, my daughter starts next year and I have another baby boy due this week. My kids are fully engrossed in French life and don’t remember England."

“I know my seasons are limited and I am ready for it whenever it may come. I have seen a lot of people retire and not be ready for it financially, and I listened to your podcast with Leon who didn’t really have his back-up plans."

“I’ve had to have a real think about what I want to do. I’m lucky financially that I have invested in properties which has put me in a decent position.“

In an honest and wide-ranging discussion, Tomkins also reveals how he has dealt with a career of online abuse, but admits seeing his family hurt by it has been upsetting.

“I just think that if someone I don’t know can make a judgement on me as a person from watching me for an hour and a half playing a game. That’s a really strange way of judging someone’s character as a person."

“I’ve had the worst possible things said to me online but I know they’d never say that in the street."

“People wish really bad injuries on me and my mum has struggled with that badly. And that’s bothered me.“

“The only thing that has bothered me is when things have been said around my parents. But I say to my mum it’s not real life. You don’t watch Coronation Street and start kicking off with the actors when you see them in the road!”

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SOM Talks is the official podcast from award-winning mental health and fitness charity State of Mind Sport.

Hosted by George Riley, each episode explores themes in line with the unprecedented and unique challenges that we are individually and collectively facing right now.

The inaugural series explores Transitions – the mental health challenges associated with major life and career changes.

SOM Talks is available on all major podcast platforms.

Rugby great Leon Pryce has revealed he suffered a loss of identity when his career ended and won’t allow his son to make the same “stupid mistakes” as he embarks on his own professional career.

Pryce, a former Great Britain international, won every domestic club honour in a glittering career with Bradford, St Helens, Hull FC and Catalan Dragons, but struggled to find his next path after retirement.

Opening up to host George Riley on the official SOM Talks podcast from leading mental fitness charity State of Mind Sport, Pryce reveals how hard he has had to work to get his life back on track.

“You assume that because you have got a profile in the game, you’re always going to be able to pick up work around the game. That’s my own fault, I have nobody else to blame.

“You think you’re this superstar, people want to ring you up and be your friend and you kind of assume and think it can’t be that hard surely. It was such a wrong attitude to have and I will never make that mistake again, I will never allow William to make that mistake. It’s something I’m already working on with him now, so that he won’t be in the same position that I put myself in.”

18-year-old Will Pryce is just beginning his journey, and scored a try on his full Super League debut for Huddersfield against Wigan.

Leon says Will has a wise head on his shoulders and has learned lessons from seeing firsthand his dad’s struggles.

“I went from training in and around 30 lads every day for 20 years, to being sat on my own in the house watching Jeremy Kyle. That sent me into a dark hole.

“I was drinking too much. Where I’d go and play rugby I’d instead pick up a bottle of wine and go home and feel sorry for myself.

“Playing rugby gave me an escape and massive coping mechanisms, and when you cut that out I didn’t really know where to turn.”

Pryce accepted help from Sporting Chance and set about getting his life back on track.

“It’s been a long journey to get to where I am at the moment. It’s an inside job and I’ve had to really work at it.

“Even though I’m in a really good place now and enjoy my job, I still have a massive void that probably won’t ever be filled, through not being involved in rugby. It is a game where people can drop out very easily. There isn’t much work about. It’s not like football where there’s a million jobs.”

SOM Talks is the official podcast from award-winning mental health and fitness charity State of Mind Sport.

Hosted by George Riley, each episode explores themes in line with the unprecedented and unique challenges that we are individually and collectively facing right now.

The inaugural series explores Transitions  - the mental health challenges associated with major life and career changes.

SOM Talks is available on all major podcast platforms

Former Leeds captain Stevie Ward has revealed the emotional moment he told close friend Rob Burrow that he was having to retire from professional sport. Ward walked away from rugby league earlier this year aged just 27 as he struggled with neurological issues connected to concussion. Six months after announcing his retirement, the two-time Grand Final winner continues to suffer with migraines, nausea and dizziness related to concussions he suffered in his final year as a player. Rob Burrow was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease in 2019 and Ward says his inspirational friend’s journey has had a major impact on his own life. 

Speaking to host George Riley on the official SOM Talks podcast from award-winning mental fitness charity State of Mind Sport, Ward opened up about his own very difficult period of transition, which began when he told Burrow last October of his intention to retire. “That was a time I was just starting to say it out loud,” he admits. “It didn’t feel real. I was saying it out loud but it wasn’t registering that I was saying it. ‘Rob was saying it’s the right decision and it’s not worth it, and for a long time I was saying it but not believing it. I had to start saying it and coming to terms with it then. Especially saying it to Rob, someone you’ve shared those experiences with, and who knows the length of my career, and what I’ve been through and what I’ve done and not done. Saying to him I’m having to stop, as he had to, it was like saying goodbye to something that I wasn’t sure I was ready to say goodbye to.” 

Ward says he has no regrets about devoting his early life to a sport that has left both physical and mental damage, but admits he is now grieving rugby league. “I’ve been grieving the game. Grieving the mission of what was there before me. "I got plunged into something that just wasn’t what I expected or desired and that’s what sometimes can happen in life. You get presented with something completely out of the blue. Another challenge you didn’t expect. “Grieving that job, that role. James Graham put it pretty well. He said he’s probably not going to miss playing the game but he’s going to miss the man he was playing that game. “   

Speaking on episode 4 of the Transitions series of SOM Talks, Ward says he believes a career curtailed by illness and punctuated by injury has allowed him to build resilience through adversity. “It’s a big thing, self-doubt and self-sabotage. That’s when I woke up. To acknowledge self-doubt and self-sabotage and be aware of the triggers. I understood and saw that my mind could sometimes be my worst advisor and worst enemy. What can I do to make that unnecessary suffering less and less and go away? Accepting how you can feel takes you a long way to peace of mind, accepting situations and thoughts that you have, being aligned with your purpose, knowing your values and acting them out. I’ve been doing that as my mental health training regime.”   

Ward now runs his own men’s mental fitness brand Mantality with the aim of bringing men together in boosting their wellbeing. “I meditate every day, practice gratitude every day, and created Mantality to have a group of men on that same wavelength. “My ‘why’ has shifted a lot in my life and that has had to do a lot with the injuries and turmoil I’ve gone through. I was on a bit of a cycle. I couldn’t real​ly change that cycle. So I had to change myself.” 

SOM Talks is the official podcast from award-winning mental health and fitness charity State of Mind Sport. Hosted by George Riley, each episode explores themes in line with the unprecedented and unique challenges that we are individually and collectively facing right now.   The inaugural series explores Transitions – the mental health challenges associated with major life and career changes. SOM Talks is available on all major podcast platforms.

Former Super League star Matty Blythe says a radical career change has given him a perspective on life that he would otherwise never have achieved.

The ex Bradford Bulls and Warrington favourite gave up his life as a professional sportsman aged just 28, to provide close security for bomb disposal experts in ISIS strongholds in Iraq.

Opening up to host George Riley on the official SOM Talks podcast from award-winning mental fitness charity State of Mind Sport, Blythe revealed his extraordinary career change was the best thing he has ever done for his own mental health.

“I hated playing, I hated rugby league at that time. I was way gone,” he said of the realisation something major in his life had to change. “Everyone goes through that part of their career. The biggest part of my character is smiling, and I was like that but it was completely false. And that was massively mentally draining, so I knew I needed something different in my life.”

Blythe trained in hostile security whilst playing on as a pro with Warrington, despite having already made the decision that his heart and head were no longer in elite sport, with all its sacrifice, physical and mental strain.

He then broke a leg in his final game.

“It was difficult mentally to go through, and I ended up speaking to counsellors through State of Mind and Rugby League Cares to get through that.

“For me my health is the greatest thing. I hated not feeling the way I wanted. It would have been pointless to carry on. I’m glad I have gone through this transitional period as it made me miles stronger.

I’m proud of the person that I was when I was really good at playing rugby. And I’m proud of the person who thought it’s not the be all and end all, and there is life after rugby league.

“Sometimes you just get to a crossroads where your head just goes I’m not enjoying myself, which way do I go? Do I carry on the way I’m going or do I change something along the path. It might be a long journey but it might be worth it when you get to your destination.”

Blythe’s immediate journey out of rugby was one of the more remarkable tales of transition out of professional sport.

His first assignment after completing his hostile environment and close security training was to fly to Baghdad.

“I had 10 hours in Istanbul before Baghdad. I had a couple of pints as I knew that next flight was the one. Everything went through my mind. It was exactly like my first ever game, what if this or that goes wrong? It was draining, but as soon as I got there it was fine.

“My first mission was on my birthday. We went to a factory where Isis had taken a stronghold. We did a massive belt of IED’s (improvised explosive devices) and I was being taught what to look for and what we might find. That day I went back and slept for 16 hours, I was gone, my head was drained.”

Blythe spent two years in Iraq on a job full of adrenalin-filled highs and life-changing lows.

“One of my best mates over there who I was with for 18 months got killed, trying to detonate an IED. I’d never experienced someone that close to me being killed, just like that. I told myself it was part of the job but I just didn’t know how to deal with it. I was angry and upset. I’m never going to see this guy again. That was the worst thing we went through. Iraq were having problem with other countries so things were happening, there was lockdown and indirect fire into camp. One of my drivers got killed who was a local national. But I loved the job and I would go back tomorrow.”

SOM Talks is the official podcast from award-winning mental health and fitness charity State of Mind Sport.

Hosted by George Riley, this inaugural series explores Transitions  - the mental health challenges associated with major life and career changes.