How to Handle Criticism The Christian Working Woman

I remember as I was putting the finishing touches on one of my Bible studies, I asked several people to critique it for me. I had enough sense to know that I needed other eyes looking at it, seeing what I couldn't see, if I really wanted that Bible study to be as good as it could be. But frankly, I didn't want to hear the criticisms I had solicited. And I had to fight with everything in me to keep from being defensive as suggestions were made to improve the study.



Now, if I feel that way about solicited criticisms, you can imagine how I react to unsolicited criticisms. It is a very hard thing for me to handle—I have to be honest with you. Reviews of my books frighten me; I have to make myself read them. I fear they will be negative, and that would be painful. I can relate with Job who said in Job 6:24-25: Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong. How painful are honest words. It seems Job had the same type of reaction to criticism that I do.



Well, it's a weakness, and it's one I must overcome. Because I need good honest criticism, I need input from others so I can improve, so I can avoid making the same mistakes all the time, so I can see myself and how others perceive me more accurately. I NEED IT, but I don't want it.



How would you rate yourself when it comes to handling criticism? Would your score, like mine, be on the low side? Well, how can we improve? We don't have to be this way forever. Jesus has victory for us in every area, and that includes handling criticism. So, let's talk about it.



Handling criticism well is a sign of maturity, both spiritual and emotional maturity. I'm discovering that as I am more and more confident of who I am in Christ and how much he loves me, the better I am at accepting criticism. As I grow spiritually with God, I also grow emotionally. Have you ever thought about that? The two go hand-in-hand.



Spiritual growth—knowing who God is and how we relate to him and how he relates to us—brings emotional growth. So, I notice that as I spend time getting to know God, immersing myself in God's Word, and filling my mind with his thoughts, my emotional weaknesses begin to improve. So, as in every other area of our lives, the starting point for learning to handle criticism well is to get to know God better, spending time in his Word, communicating with him regularly and growing continually in our understanding of God and our faith.



And then, if we're going to learn to handle criticism correctly, we've got to have the right attitude toward it. If we look at it as something negative, then obviously we'll handle it poorly. It reminds me of my first job in sales with IBM. We weren't allowed to have problems; we were instead faced with many opportunities! A positive outlook on any situation can make a huge difference in how we react.



If you can learn to think of criticism as a helpful tool in your life which can accelerate your own growth and learning curve, then that takes a lot of the pain out of criticism and gives you a good starting place for handling it correctly. So, the next time a criticism comes your way, send up a quick silent prayer and ask the Lord to help you see this as an instrument of good in your life. That way you can turn the pain into gain. Yes, the criticism was painful, but now you can make a painful experience a stair-step towards improvement, so you don't suffer for nothing! That makes sense, doesn't it?



What else can you do to teach yourself to handle criticism better? Well, you surely need to pray that God will give you a teachable heart and make you able to accept criticism appropriately. That's always a necessity for us as Christians when we recognize an area in our life that needs strengthening. We read in 1 Corinthians 11:31 that "if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment.