Legends In Their Own Minds The 2 Legends

While Dave is rightly concerned about the historical phenomenon of 'political impeachment', Johnny’s underlying issue is pretty much with any kind of math.

Johnny's doctor is concerned about his weight - but it's not what you think.  Will he survive?  Or is he officially doomed?

In Nashville, it turns out the NFL Draft and bachelorette parties are a bad mix. Just ask the bachelorettes who didn't plan ahead.  Don't ask Dave, though.  That'll just get him started again.

Don't like either candidate from the two major parties and feel you have to vote for the lesser of two evils? Well, it seems you're not alone. Now at least one state is trying to find a clever remedy.

Johnny wants to let out a primal scream about all the "feel good" (read politically correct) ordinances his toney suburban city has been enacting lately. But then if he did, they'd probably slap him with a fine.

Some people think Dave is rude... They'd be right. Just asked the lady who unnecessarily held up the airport security line in front of him!