Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

Beth Hillman | Parent Coach for Parents of Struggling Teens
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Your guide to parenting a struggling teen or young-adult, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment. Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm, panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you and your family stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and set healthy boundaries with your teen instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen. Your guides to Parenting Post-wilderness are Beth Hillman, a life coach for parents of struggling teens and mom to a post-wilderness teen, and part-time co-host Seth Gottlieb, a wilderness therapy guide turned teen and young-adult recovery coach. Their unique combination of experience and training yields candid conversations chock full of practical, actionable tips and tools to smooth the challenges both parents and teens experience surrounding treatment.  Every week, you can expect conversations around: Parenting a struggling teen or young-adult;Setting healthy boundaries with your teen;Treatment options for your struggling teen or young adult;Bringing your kid home from treatment;Parenting skills to support your struggling child;Teen substance abuse, drug addiction, gaming addiction, suicidal ideation, or other teen mental health concerns;How to end power struggles and instead foster healthy communication with your teen or young-adult;And much more.Listen in to discover how parents like you have learned to influence equanimity in the home and rebuild connections with the teens they love. Connect with Beth on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or find more information about working with Beth at www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

  1. 4 dgn geleden

    196. Understanding ADHD and Emotional Dysregulation in Teens & Young Adults With Debbie Murad

    Simple tasks that seem easy to you become overwhelming battles for your teen or young adult with ADHD. One small request turns into a massive blow-up. And when we don’t understand the ADHD brain, it can feel like they’re being disrespectful, lazy or even manipulative.  In today’s episode, I’m joined by therapist and ADHD expert Debbie Murad to unpack what’s really happening underneath ADHD and emotional dysregulation in teens and young adults. Debbie explains why so many ADHD behaviors are misunderstood as intentional defiance when they’re actually rooted in brain development, executive functioning challenges, dopamine regulation, and overwhelm. We also talk about the emotional toll ADHD takes on teens themselves. Because behind the missed assignments, emotional explosions, forgotten responsibilities, and impulsive behaviors, many teens are silently carrying shame, self-loathing, anxiety, and the exhausting feeling that they can never quite keep up with everyone else. This conversation is especially important for parents who feel burned out, triggered, confused, or stuck in constant conflict with their teen. Because understanding what’s happening neurologically can completely change the way you respond, and ultimately strengthen the relationship with your child. In this episode on ADHD and emotional dysregulation in teens, we discuss: Why ADHD behaviors are often mistaken for disrespect or defianceWhat emotional dysregulation actually looks like in teens or young adults with ADHDThe difference between supporting your child and over-accommodating themWhy teens with ADHD can become overwhelmed by seemingly “simple” tasksHow ADHD impacts self-esteem, shame, and relationshipsWhy parents often take ADHD behaviors personallyThe connection between ADHD, impulsivity, dopamine, and addiction riskHow hyperfocus can become both a strength and a challengeThe link between ADHD, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and burnoutHow parents can become better advocates for their neurodivergent childWhy mindfulness and emotional regulation work for parents matters tooThe importance of helping teens build executive functioning skills instead of doing everything for themHow understanding your child’s brain can transform your relationship with them More about Debbie Murad Debbie Murad brings over 30 years of expertise as a Clinical Social Worker, having worked with a wide spectrum of clients, including adolescents struggling with executive functioning, mental health and addiction issues. As the founder and CEO of Beach Cities Gateway, a transitional program for emerging adults, Debbie specializes in guiding young people through the challenges of mental health, addiction, and executive functioning. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    43 min.

  2. 19 mei

    195. Summer Scaffolding: Supporting Your Teen’s Transition Home From Treatment During Summer Break With Hilary Moses

    Summer can feel terrifying when you’re parenting a struggling teen or young adult. The routines disappear. Structure falls away. And suddenly you’re left wondering how to support your child without slipping into control, conflict, or constant anxiety. And if your teen is coming home from treatment? The pressure can feel even heavier. Today, I sit down with Hilary Moses to talk about what parents often misunderstand about summer break, especially when supporting a struggling teen during summer break after treatment. Because summer isn’t just “time off.” For many families, it’s a major transition period filled with fear, guilt, uncertainty, and a loss of structure. We talk about the difference between healthy structure and control, why parents often panic when they see old behaviors resurface, and how to create support systems that actually help your teen build resilience instead of dependence. Hilary also shares practical ways parents can approach screens, friends, boredom, jobs, driving, boundaries, and expectations during the summer months without falling into exhausting power struggles. Most importantly, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to create a perfect summer. You're not trying to raise a perfectly compliant child. You are helping a young person slowly learn how to navigate real life with support, structure, and connection. In this episode on supporting your teen’s transition home from treatment during summer break, we discuss: Why summer break can feel so destabilizing for struggling teens and familiesThe hidden challenges of bringing a teen home from treatment during summerHow to create healthy summer structure without micromanaging your teen or young adult childSupporting your child with jobs, responsibilities, and independenceWhat parents often misunderstand about motivation and accountabilityHow to approach “red flag” friendships with more nuanceWhy isolation and loneliness are major risks during summer breakHow fear pushes parents back into controlling patternsWhat healthy boundaries and expectations actually look like at homeWhy parents need resilience just as much as their kids do More about Hilary Moses Hilary Moses, MSW, LCSW, is a widely-esteemed therapist and parent coach who, throughout her career as a wilderness clinician and program clinical director was among the most highly regarded in the field. Hilary is a national public speaker and presenter, has written and developed parenting and transition curricula, facilitated hundreds of workshops and family seminars, and was an adjunct professor for the Masters in Social Work program at Arizona State University’s Watts College of Public Service and Community Solutions.  Hilary co-authored, “H.O.M.E: Strategies for Making home a SUCCESS during and after Treatment”. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    47 min.

  3. 12 mei

    194. What It Feels Like to Come Home From Treatment (And Why Your Teen Is Struggling) With Casie Fariello

    You bring your child home from treatment and expect things to get better. But instead, everything feels off. They’re overwhelmed. Irritated. Withdrawn. Maybe even struggling more than you expected. You don’t understand. Why is this so hard? Did we do something wrong? This special episode will help you understand something most parents never fully see… until now. Because what your teen experiences coming home from treatment isn’t just a transition. It can feel disorienting, overstimulating, and deeply unsettling in ways that are hard to explain, especially if you’ve never lived it yourself. Today, I’m joined by Casie Fariello, who shares a deeply personal and unexpected experience that gave her a rare, firsthand understanding of what it actually feels like to lose autonomy, feel stripped of identity, and then try to re-enter everyday life after treatment. And what she realized changed everything about how she relates to her son. In this episode on what it feels like to come home from treatment, we discuss: Casie’s story that gave her a firsthand understanding of what it feels like to transition home from treatment;Why reintegration after treatment can feel overwhelming, even when your teen “seems fine”;The loss of autonomy, identity, and safety your child may experience in treatment and how that impacts their behavior at home;Why your teen may withdraw, resist connection, or seem ungrateful after coming home;How overstimulation (phones, noise, people) can make early reentry incredibly difficult;The hidden grief both you and your teen may be carrying after time apart;Why kids may “check the boxes” in treatment and what that means when they return home;How your own fear, guilt, and judgment can show up during this phase (and what to do with it);Simple, powerful ways to support your teen: space, autonomy, and patience;What it really means to “relearn” how to be a family again after treatment;And much more. More about Casie Fariello Casie is the co-founder of the online parent support group Other Parents Like Me (OPLM.com). She also has a son who went to treatment, including wilderness. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    38 min.

  4. 5 mei

    193. Is This ODD or Normal Teen Behavior? With Brittney King

    Is your child pushing back, arguing over everything, ignoring rules, or seeming impossible to parent right now? It’s easy to wonder: Is this normal teen behavior… or something more serious like ODD? When conflict becomes the norm at home, many parents start fearing they’re losing their child. You might even feel like you’re failing as a parent. But not all defiance is ODD. Sometimes, what looks like defiance is actually normal development, emotional dysregulation, stress, or a family dynamic that can be changed. In this conversation, I’m joined by counselor, parenting coach, and school counselor, and mom herself, Brittney King, to unpack the difference between typical teen pushback and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We talk about why many parents misunderstand defiance, how power struggles accidentally fuel the problem, and what helps teens far more than lectures, anger, or making consequences harsher. If you’re parenting a struggling teen or young adult and feeling exhausted by constant conflict, tune in to learn a ton from Brittney. In this episode on ODD in teens, we discuss: The difference between normal teen behavior and true ODDWhy defiance can be a healthy part of adolescent developmentHow ADHD and emotional dysregulation can look like Oppositional Defiant DisorderWhy lectures and punishments often make conflict worseThe two biggest reasons teens stop opening up to parentsWhy connection must come before correctionHow clear boundaries and consistent consequences build trustWhat curiosity can reveal beneath your teen’s behaviorHow to become the safe place your teen turns to when it matters most About our guest Brittney King is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), ADHD-certified provider (ADHD-CCSP), and parenting coach who helps parents of struggling teens feel more confident and connected. As a junior high school counselor, she sees firsthand how ADHD and executive functioning challenges impact teens, and the stress it creates for families. As a mom of 5, including one neurodivergent child (AuDHD), Brittney blends professional expertise with real-life experience. She’s passionate about helping parents raise resilient, emotionally healthy kids and feel supported every step of the way.  Check out her free webinar for parents of neurodivergent kids who are looking for answers on how to help their child at home & at school Download her free worksheet for ways to support healthy mental and emotional development in your teen. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    40 min.

  5. 28 apr

    192. When Your Teen Is Self-Harming: What Parents Need to Know With Courtney Deadman

    When you find out your child is harming themselves, you’re thrown into a world you don’t understand. Fear hits first. Then confusion. Maybe even anger. Is this a cry for help? Is it manipulation? Is my child suicidal? And most of all… what am I supposed to do? If your teen is self-harming, you’re not alone in these questions. And you’re not failing as a parent. In this conversation, I sit down with therapist Courtney Deadman to unpack what teen self-harm actually is, and what it isn’t. Because so much of what parents believe about self-harm keeps them stuck in fear, reactivity, and disconnection… when what their teen or young adult kid needs most is something very different. We talk about why self-harm is often a coping mechanism (not necessarily a suicide attempt), why punishment and consequences can make things worse, and how you can begin to approach your teen in a way that builds trust instead of shutting them down. In this episode on when your teen or young adult kid is self-harming, we discuss: What self-harm actually means (and why it’s more nuanced than you think)The difference between self-harm and suicidal intentWhy some teens use self-harm as a coping mechanismThe biggest mistakes parents make when they discover self-harmWhy consequences and punishment often backfireHow to talk to your teen without judgment or fear taking overWhat “harm reduction” looks like and why it mattersThe role of curiosity, trust, and connection in your response towards your struggling teenHow self-harm shows up differently across gendersWhy supporting yourself as a parent is essential in this process More about Courtney Deadman Driven by a genuine passion for human growth, Court sees therapy as a collaborative, sometimes messy, but ultimately transformative process. Her goal isn’t perfection - it’s helping people reclaim ownership of their lives and move forward on their own terms. They balance compassion with accountability, helping clients make sense of their experiences without minimizing the impact of trauma. Whether working through longstanding wounds or recent upheaval, she focuses on empowering individuals to reconnect with their own resilience, voice, and capacity for change. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    53 min.

  6. 21 apr

    191. ​​The Boy Brain Explained: Why Your Teen Manipulates, Complains, and Plays the Victim

    Your teen’s behavior might feel confusing, frustrating, or even manipulative… but when you understand the boy brain, it starts to make a lot more sense. In this episode, I sit down with Mark Spalding (LCSW) to unpack what’s really going on beneath behaviors like complaining, blaming, or playing the victim, and why so many parents feel emotionally pulled in when it happens. We start with a situation many parents know all too well: your teen calls home (especially from treatment), and everything they share is negative. They sound convincing. Urgent. Sometimes even alarming. And you’re left feeling confused, guilty, and unsure what’s actually true. But let’s also zoom out a bit.  Because these moments aren’t just about what your teen is saying. They’re about how the adolescent brain works. We explain how the boy brain works: from the powerful drive for validation and belonging, to the imbalance between reward and consequence, to the speed at which emotions override logic.  When you understand this, you start to see why your teen might lean into certain behaviors, and why it’s so easy for you, as a parent, to get pulled in. Most importantly, we talk about how to respond in a way that supports your teen without rescuing them and how to step out of patterns that may actually be holding them back. In this episode on the boy brain explained, we discuss: Why teens often focus on the negative (also during calls from treatment)What the “proximity effect” is and how it impacts your teen’s reactionsWhy teens may take on a victim role and why it can feel rewardingThe neuroscience behind teen behavior, incl. emotional reactivity and reward sensitivityWhy belonging and validation can outweigh consequences in the boy brainHow teens can hold parents emotionally hostage (often without realizing it)What’s happening in your teen’s brain when logic “doesn’t work”How to respond to your teenage boy without overreacting, rescuing, or escalatingWhy competence is what builds confidenceHow over-helping can unintentionally undermine your teen’s growthThe role of parent guilt, fear, and past experiences in these dynamicsHow to stay grounded, set healthier boundaries, and increase your influence as a parent More about Mark Spalding Mark Spalding is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, trained Neurotherapist, and Field Instructor at the University of Utah. He is the co-founder of Live Strong House, Utah's premier therapeutic boarding school for boys, as well as the owner of Milestone, their young adult boys program. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    36 min.

  7. 14 apr

    190. Dealing With the Negativity of Your Weekly Treatment Call

    You wait all week for that call… and then it comes. But your child sounds miserable. They’re complaining about everything. The food, the people, the program. They tell you it’s not working. That they shouldn’t be there. Maybe they even promise they’ll do better if you just bring them home. And suddenly, you’re right back in it: confused, overwhelmed, and questioning everything. Did I make the wrong decision? Is this actually helping them? Should I be doing something different? In this episode, Seth and I talk about an extremely common (and emotionally triggering) experiences parents face when their child is in treatment: the weekly call filled with negativity, complaints, and pressure to “fix” it. Because here’s the truth: just because your teen is struggling, doesn’t mean something is wrong. And just because they’re telling you something, doesn’t mean you should take it at face value. We walk you through what’s really going on underneath these conversations, why your teen might be showing up this way, and how to respond in a way that supports their growth without getting pulled into fear, guilt, or rescuing. In this episode on when your teen is complaining about treatment, we discuss: Why teens often complain or “push back” during treatment (and what’s actually underneath it)How discomfort, challenge, and growth can show up as negativityThe difference between valid concerns vs. emotional reactionsWhy it’s important not to blindly believe, nor completely dismiss, what your teen is sayingHow to gather accurate information without escalating the situationThe common parenting patterns that get activated (rescuing vs. dismissing)What it looks like to respond in a grounded, supportive wayHow to give your teen or young adult autonomy instead of stepping in to fix things Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    27 min.

  8. 7 apr

    189. What Is in Your Control as a Parent? - The Circles of Control, Influence & Concern

    You’re lying awake at night, running through every possible scenario. Should I step in? Should I say something? Should I let this go? When your teen is struggling, it can feel nearly impossible to know what’s actually yours to handle and what isn’t. And without clarity, it’s so easy to slip into overthinking, overfunctioning, and trying to control things that were never yours to begin with. In this episode, we’re introducing a simple but powerful framework: the Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern. This practical tool can help you step out of the constant confusion and into a more grounded, connected way of parenting. One where you stay present with your teen without losing yourself in the process. [I go much deeper into this framework, and much more, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.] We talk about why so many parents get stuck focusing on the wrong things, how that actually increases stress (for both you and your child), and what it looks like to shift your energy back to where it truly matters. Because when you start to understand what is in your control as a parent, everything begins to change: your boundaries, your responses, and even your relationship with your teen or young adult child. In this episode on what is in your control as a parent, we discuss: The three circles: control, influence, and concern, and what each one really means;Why parents often spend most of their time in the wrong circle;How trying to control what isn’t yours actually increases stress and disconnection in your family;Real-life examples (like school refusal and eating habits) to show you how to apply this framework;The difference between control language vs. influence-based communication;How to stay present and supportive without overfunctioning or rescuing;And much more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass. 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.

    30 min.
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Your guide to parenting a struggling teen or young-adult, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment. Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm, panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you and your family stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and set healthy boundaries with your teen instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen. Your guides to Parenting Post-wilderness are Beth Hillman, a life coach for parents of struggling teens and mom to a post-wilderness teen, and part-time co-host Seth Gottlieb, a wilderness therapy guide turned teen and young-adult recovery coach. Their unique combination of experience and training yields candid conversations chock full of practical, actionable tips and tools to smooth the challenges both parents and teens experience surrounding treatment.  Every week, you can expect conversations around: Parenting a struggling teen or young-adult;Setting healthy boundaries with your teen;Treatment options for your struggling teen or young adult;Bringing your kid home from treatment;Parenting skills to support your struggling child;Teen substance abuse, drug addiction, gaming addiction, suicidal ideation, or other teen mental health concerns;How to end power struggles and instead foster healthy communication with your teen or young-adult;And much more.Listen in to discover how parents like you have learned to influence equanimity in the home and rebuild connections with the teens they love. Connect with Beth on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or find more information about working with Beth at www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

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