Playful Joy - a parenting podcast without the guilt Charlene Nicole

In this episode, I again speak to the Superintendent of Mission Public Schools to get some answers about what back to school will look like for students across grade levels.  Mostly this episode is intended to help parents who are still trying to decide whether or not to send their children back to in-class instruction or whether another option is the correct choice for their family at this time.  The different options (regular school placement, distributed learning and home schooling) are defined, discusses and weighed out a little with pros and cons. We discuss the learning groups (cohorts, bubbles whatever you're calling it!) and what function they truly serve.  If you want to know why the high school is in-class one day a week and why it isn't your youngest children that you should be the most worried about then listen now! We even discuss teachers in the 1900s hint: just like you CANNOT show up to school with the sniffles today, you didn't want to show up with dirty fingernails back then! 

Here is the link to the study of COID-19 in schools in Australia that we discussed-they have their Term 2 study up now too. The main point is that unlike the flu, COVID-19 transmission in schools is quite rare and children are not the primary part of the population who are passing this virus around: http://ncirs.org.au/sites/default/files/2020-04/NCIRS%20NSW%20Schools%20COVID_Summary_FINAL%20public_26%20April%202020.pdf 

The following link is to an article written by 2 paediatricians who say their main goal is to protect children with science the end of the article states: "we have five studies assessing the secondary attack rate of COVID-19 across age groups, in which four report a considerably lower attack rate in children and one which reports the same in children as the general population. It appears fairly convincing that children are less likely to acquire the infection than adults, by a significant amount." https://dontforgetthebubbles.com/the-missing-link-children-and-transmission-of-sars-cov-2/ If Mission is your local school district you can find up to date information on their website: www.mpsd.ca

As British Columbia prepares to open schools to part-time, in class learning, I speak to the Superintendent of Mission Public Schools about sending children back to school. If you are wondering what school might look like while there is no vaccine for the Coronavirus or cure for COVID-19, then this is the episode for you! We chat about ALL THE THINGS: the fear, the playground, the research-based evidence, the misunderstandings, the disadvantaged children who don’t have access to laptops and wifi and the “why now?” and “why bother?” questions SO many parents have been asking. Near the end, Mr. Wilson shares about a family with immune compromised children who ARE choosing to send their children and what they said when asked if they were sure about their decision. The information in this episode is specific to British Columbia, Canada (and mostly about the Mission school district) and the research discussed was correct and current on May 22, 2020. I hope it helps in your decision making now OR for September because this virus has not disappeared. I hope it makes you smile especially the recording of my 4 year old at the end-clearly I only snuggle him some days and not all lol!

Here is the link to the study of COID-19 in schools in Australia that we discussed and has the infographic we spoke about.  The main point is that unlike the flu, COVID-19 transmission in schools is quite rare and children are not the primary part of the population who are passing this virus around:

http://ncirs.org.au/sites/default/files/2020-04/NCIRS%20NSW%20Schools%20COVID_Summary_FINAL%20public_26%20April%202020.pdf

The following link is to an article written by 2 pediatricians who say their main goal is to protect children with science the end of the article states: "we have five studies assessing the secondary attack rate of COVID-19 across age groups, in which four report a considerably lower attack rate in children and one which reports the same in children as the general population. It appears fairly convincing that children are less likely to acquire the infection than adults, by a significant amount." https://dontforgetthebubbles.com/the-missing-link-children-and-transmission-of-sars-cov-2/

If Mission is your local school district you can find up to date information on their website: www.mpsd.ca 

We all have feelings and we're going to have them forever.  If you would like to learn a couple of ways to calm your children after a tantrum this is the episode for you!  I walk you through the idea of a "calm down basket" and give you the steps in teaching children about their emotions.  They honestly do not know what is happening to them or how to come down from it when they are having big feelings.  We can name their feelings, discuss where and how they feel emotions in their body and guide them towards being able to tell us how they are feeling and why.

This is a stressful time. NEVER before in my lifetime has the entire world had so many BIG feelings all at the same time! Also, (as if that wasn't enough to deal with), a lot of us are staying at home, not seeing friends and family, and not able to attend appointments that usually keep us feeling well and balanced.  The RAIN technique that I learned through Tara Brach's book and podcasts has helped me and could help your older children (and you) too!

Calm Down Basket ideas Pinterest Board: https://pin.it/14V6pWM

Calm Down Basket demonstration and tips: https://youtu.be/zIfLUcWJglk

Calm Down Basket Title: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Calm-Down-Kit-2623170

During this unknown time, it's normal for kids to be extra worried, fearful, clingy, overly emotional and a bunch of other big emotions...on this episode I discuss the virus, prevention, how it spreads and how you can talk to your children about this upside down world we are living in where their parents work from home, they can't play with their friends, they can't hug their grandparents and schools have been shutdown until further notice.

Here are the websites mentioned in this episode and a new self assessment tool that was just launched in BC

How to talk to children about Coronavirus -one page from the Fred Rogers Centre https://www.fredrogerscenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/FRC-COVID19-Response.pdf

The information I quoted is from the BC Centre for Disease Control and your country/state/province's healthcare website continues to be the best place to go for information.  There is a LOT of misinformation out on social media right now.

http://covid-19.bccdc.ca/

The self-assessment quiz on the BCCDC website is easy to use and will tell you exactly how much or little you should be distancing or isolating yourself right now, if you develop symptoms, if you find out someone you were in contact with tested positive for Coronavirus or has symptoms and if you were out of the country.

I also found this short 23 minute podcast helpful:

"The 'Telus Talks Health’ podcast is hosted by veteran broadcaster Tamara Taggart and will air twice weekly. In the show’s inaugural episode, Taggart is joined by Telus chief neuroscience officer Dr. Diane McIntosh, who gives advice on how Canadians can manage their physical and mental health during the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. Some of the topics discussed include social distancing, how to stay calm, what to do to stay physically healthy and how to take care of mental health." (from https://mobilesyrup.com/2020/03/17/telus-health-podcast-coronavirus/ article)

In this episode, I share my personal experience of moving through grief once having children and how I handled sharing information with them.  This episode was actually recorded in August, (long before my chat with Mitch McCormick in Episode 17 - Grief Guidance), but after speaking with him it feels like the right time to share this too.  I hope you find some of it helpful, even if only because you know someone else is or has gone through the same things and found it just as hard as you do.

Episode Notes:

Here is the link the other episode on moving through grief with children:

https://anchor.fm/charlene-nicole/episodes/17---Grief-Guidance-GUEST-Mitch-McCormick-eaih3q

If you need support please reach out:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

If you would like more information on helping a friend or loved one who is grieving here is an article that I found helpful:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm

This episode is all about grief, loss and mostly about explaining death to children.  I was moved by my friend's elegy for his mother so much so that I  asked him to be on the podcast to share it.    I love the amazing way he explained death to his young children and I think you will too!  My guest is Mitch McCormick, a long time friend, engaging story-teller and father of 2 young children.  

He lost his mother suddenly and when she was much too young-as she was JUST starting to enjoy her retirement as a matter of fact...Mitch shares the story of how his mother died and some very important information about heart attack symptoms in women as opposed to men.  He tells how he feels the medical system was set up by and for men and so isn't serving women like it could or should.  (See the links below)  

We discuss moving through grief with and after having children as I lost my uncle around the same time.  Death is a fact of life and I believe it isn't something we should hide from children.  They need to see us happy, sad, joyful and full of sorrow to understand that these feelings are normal and happen to everyone.  Mitch and I discuss how he handled this sudden and shocking news and warning: it (understandably) gets a bit emotional and teary at parts!  

I hope this episode helps take away some of the fear you may have around discussing death with your children and gives you some tools to help you move through your own feelings as well. I love the way that Mitch’s explanation to his children allows them to experience joy when they think of their grandmother instead of just sadness and tells them where to go for comfort or to find love: “whenever you want to see or feel her light you just need to look at Uncle Shane smile or watch Uncle Scotty laugh or share a big hug with Grandpa and you will feel her love all around you” 



Episode Notes: 

Click here https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/heart-attack/warning-signs-of-a-heart-attack/heart-attack-symptoms-in-women for Heart attack symptoms in Women that Mitch talks about.  His mom seemed to be experiencing extreme lethargy/tiredness and flu-like symptoms before her death as is mentioned in this article! 

Mitch discussed with me the differences in how men and women may experience a heart attack and told me about how the healthcare system treats men and women differently.  If you would like to learn more about that, The Guardian wrote an article that explains some of the history that may be behind the different care that men and women receive when they go to the doctor.  "The Healthcare Gender Bias: do men get better medical treatment?" is the name of the article. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/20/healthcare-gender-bias-women-pain

This PDF helped me when my uncle died.  It's about how children understand grief and how the adults in their life can help them.  It's called "How Children Grieve" https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Children-and-Disasters/Documents/After-a-Loved-One-Dies-English.pdf