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The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and often disturbing--people host, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, calls Hijackals®. 
Invaluable help to stop the second-guessing, undermining, and crazy-making traits, patterns, and cycles you have encountered. Understand the ways, whys, and hows that verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse affect you over time. Whether the Hijackal is a partner, parent, ex, or colleague, what you will learn here will strengthen and empower you to step up, speak up, and stand up for yourself in healthy, assertive ways. Many Hijackals have behaviors that are consider the same as those who are diagnoses as narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and histrionic personality disorder.
These insights will help you to make the changes--and good decisions--to move from pain to power, and that's exactly what you want to do! Listen now. 
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

    • Relaties

The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and often disturbing--people host, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, calls Hijackals®. 
Invaluable help to stop the second-guessing, undermining, and crazy-making traits, patterns, and cycles you have encountered. Understand the ways, whys, and hows that verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse affect you over time. Whether the Hijackal is a partner, parent, ex, or colleague, what you will learn here will strengthen and empower you to step up, speak up, and stand up for yourself in healthy, assertive ways. Many Hijackals have behaviors that are consider the same as those who are diagnoses as narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and histrionic personality disorder.
These insights will help you to make the changes--and good decisions--to move from pain to power, and that's exactly what you want to do! Listen now. 
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    The Differences Between Well-Formed vs Badly-Formed Love GUEST: Dr. Gary Salyer

    The Differences Between Well-Formed vs Badly-Formed Love GUEST: Dr. Gary Salyer

    Are you suffering as a result of what Dr. Gary Salyer calls "badly-formed love?"
    You could be. Suffering is part of it, for sure. And, so much more.
    Do you know what well-formed love is? Have you seen it when you were growing up, or created it as an adult? Were you comfortable with it?
    BIG QUESTIONS!
    Dr. Gary Salyer has been my guest on Save Your Sanity before, and we talked about Trauma-Bonding. He was also on my Emotional Savvy podcast and we talked in-depth about Attachment Theory and Styles. (And, P.S. there are still over 150 episodes available to listen to even though I don't do it anymore.)
    So much wisdom, great insights, and a wicked sense of humor, too. Enjoy!
    Big hugs,
    Rhoberta
    HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
    What well-formed love isWhere you form the basis for badly-formed loveWhat is reasonable to expert from a "loving relationship"What might skew or warp your ideas of what a healthy relationship isWhat Dr, Gary Salyer means by "bonded to misery"The dysfunctional bond when love is mixed with suffering
    GUEST: DR. GARY SALYER
    Based on a field of study called Attachment Theory, the science of intimate relationships, Dr. Salyer’s insights have a profound and often times immediate impact. As a transformational relationship mentor, he helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.
    After Dr. Gary Salyer’s second marriage crumbled he felt like an utter, complete failure. Rather than give in, he dedicated himself to doing deep research about all things love. He read, researched, furthered his education in the field, talked to experts and to people he loved. Most of all he did the deep transformation work that unlocked his heart and released his soul to love as he had always imagined.
    Love and how to make it lasting – became his life’s highest calling—In so doing, he has developed a powerful and effective methodology to make it “Safe to Love Again”
    GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.
    CONNECT WITH DR. GARY SALYER:
    WEBSITE: https://www.garysalyer.com
    PODCAST: 
    FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/SafetoLoveAgain
    YOUTUBE:  
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/dr.gary.salyer/
    LINKEDIN: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/gary-d-salyer-ph-d/8/93a/8a5
    TWITTER: https://twitter.com/GaryDSalyer
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97
    CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.
    FOLLOW DR. SHALER...
    WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
    PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
    FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor
    TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
    LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
    PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
    If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.
    Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.
    WOW! Join now. Relationship Help Support Circles  
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    #drgarysalyer #badlyformedlove #illformedlove #attachmentstyles #whymyrelationshipisfailing #sabotagingrelationship #safetoloveagain #ruiningrelationships #subconsciousrelationshippatterns #canIbeloved #passi

    • 31 min.
    Intimidation and Coercive Control: How and Why It's Holding You Hostage - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

    Intimidation and Coercive Control: How and Why It's Holding You Hostage - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

    You're worn, torn, and put down. You're exhausting in every way. The #narcissist, the #Hijackal, see that as an accomplishment.
    Hijackals are intimidating. They expect you to comply with their wishes, wants, demands, and supposed needs.
    #Hijackals threaten you. They want to instill fear and make you dependent on them, all the while complaining that you are, right?
    It's SO important that you recognize the ways--small and large--that emotional abusers intimidate you, or could intimidate you. Sometimes, their negative behavior starts in small ways, and grows to ultimate control. Or, at least, that's their plan. This episode will give you the insights to see what's up, and why you may be tolerating it. AND, the first steps to saying "NO!" to it in small, internal ways to start.
    Hopefully, after listening, you'll begin to see the need to start some internal sifting and sorting in preparation for a big change.
    Big hugs!
    Rhoberta
    HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
    The six ways intimidation is used to control Why you might be suffering from being intimidatedThree main methods of intimidationWhy intimidation succeeds How #Hijackals use "withholding" to control youHow #gaslighting plays into intimidationRecognizing coercive control for what it is
    Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97
    CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.
    FOLLOW DR. SHALER...
    WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
    PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
    FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor
    TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
    LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
    PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
    YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
    If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.
    Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.
    WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Relationship Help Circles. 50% off your first month. . Safely off social media.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    #coercivecontrol #intimidationbynarcissist #intimidationbypredator #intimidationinmyrelationship #fearinrelationships #sayingnotocoercivecontrol #livinginfear #livingwithsecrets #regainingselfconfidence #saynotoabuse
    #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 
    

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 32 min.
    Self-Centered, Selfish Or Narcissistic? GUEST: Dr. Laura Dabney

    Self-Centered, Selfish Or Narcissistic? GUEST: Dr. Laura Dabney

    There can be a razor's edge difference between a self-centered person and a narcissistic one.
    Does it really matter if you know when you are dealing with them?
    Dr. Laura Dabney offers her experience as a psychiatrist dealing with some of the most difficult cases in the field. Her insights will help you more deeply understand those differences between a generally self-centered person, and a truly narcissistic one.
    I've often spoken about "healthy selfishness" and we continue that conversation. Where are the limits? When does it become unhealthy? So many questions that help you understand the relationship you may have with a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child.
    Oh, and bright, high-performing folks. Are they more likely to have narcissistic tendencies?
    Get answers today, here, now.
    Big hugs,
    Rhoberta
    HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
    Differences between healthy selfishness and unhealthy narcissismWhy high-achieving folks often walk a fine line between self-centeredness and narcissismHow to find a balance between being healthily driven and engaged and unhealthy, looking for powerYour rights to set boundaries especially against aggressionWhat about passive-aggressive tendencies?Will toxic people respect your boundaries?The three biggest red flags that someone is toxic
    GUEST: DR. LAURA DABNEY
    Laura Dabney, MD has made a career of taking on psychiatry’s toughest challenges from treating complex, combined medical and psychological conditions, to ensuring the absolute privacy of powerful, high-profile patients. Dr. Dabney has, for decades, helped her patients change their lives for the better. And they recognize her for it. Dr. Dabney’s patients come for many reasons: depression and anxiety, recent break-ups or a lifetime of toxic relationships. Yet, despite the problems that brought them through her door, they describe her in the same terms again and again, calling her warm, knowledgeable, and committed to their success.
    GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.
    CONNECT WITH DR. DABNEY:
    WEBSITE: https://www.weconcile.com
    PODCAST: 
    FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/LauraDabneycom/
    YOUTUBE:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTW_U6Zl8X41n1mOXYM3UQ
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lauradabneycom/
    LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/dr--laura-dabney-md
    TWITTER: https://twitter.com/drldabney
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97
    CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.
    FOLLOW DR. SHALER...
    WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
    PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
    FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor
    TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
    LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
    PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
    If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.
    Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.
    WOW! Join now. Relationship Help Support Circles  
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    #healthyselfishness #drlauradabney #psychiatrist #selfcenteredornarcissistic #selfcentered #healthynarcissism #ismypartne

    • 42 min.
    Boomeranging: How To Leave and Stay Gone!

    Boomeranging: How To Leave and Stay Gone!

    It's common for folks to desperately find their way to get away from a toxic relationship. Then, the doubts start, as well as the pleading and promises from a toxic spouse.
    You'll need these helpful insights into how to plan to leave so that you won't give in to the temptation to return. And, if you have left, what to do when you want to go running back to the abuse.
    Yes, you're leaving a toxic person, a #Hijackal, because they are emotionally abusive. You may not want to think of it as abuse, but that's what it is.
    Oxford dictionary:
    abuse: use to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. pervert, take advantage oftreat a person with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly
    Emotional abuse is difficult to see when it's happening to you, but you sure know how it feels, right? That's what you've walking--or running--away from. Remember that when you're tempted to return.
    In this episode, I give you eight things you might be telling yourself to convince yourself to go back once you've left, and seven things you can do to remind yourself why you will not go back. I hope they help you.
    Big hugs!
    Rhoberta
    HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
    Boomeranging happens often: leaving an abusive relationship and then going backHow to stop the cycle of leaving and returning to a #narcissist, a #Hijackal, an #abuserWhy you second-guess your decision to leave once the stress of leaving is relievedHow to keep moving forward once you've left a toxic relationship8 reasons you give yourself for going back to a toxic relationship7 things to do to set yourself straight and not go back
    Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97
    CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.
    FOLLOW DR. SHALER...
    WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
    PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
    FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor
    TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
    LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
    PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
    YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
    If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.
    Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.
    WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Relationship Help Circles. 50% off your first month. . Safely off social media.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    #leavinganabusiverelationship #leavinganabuser #dontgoback #leaveanddontgoback #boomeranging #goingbacktoanabusiverelationship #goingbacktoanabuser #hownottogobacktoanabusiverelationship
    #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 
    

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 35 min.
    How Differences in Attachment Affect the Wisdom of Staying Together GUEST: Jennifer Lehr

    How Differences in Attachment Affect the Wisdom of Staying Together GUEST: Jennifer Lehr

    Wondering why your relationship always seems a bit off? Why you cannot get the emotional intimacy you crave?
    The Attachment Style you adopted as a result of your early life experiences plays a big part in how you create and relate with others.
    Knowing your Attachment Style provides you with invaluable insights into how you create relationships, what you expect from them, and where your fears about them lie.
    GOOD NEWS! Just because you may have had poor models of healthy relationships in your young life doesn't mean you cannot emerge from that experience to create healthy, emotionally mature bonds now. It starts with recognizing your attachment style and how that colors your view of relationship. Then, you can work through to heal.
    When you're uninformed about Attachment Styles, you can feel a little powerless. Gaining this knowledge and choosing to move in healthier, more secure, and less fearful ways of being in relationship is empowering.
    Enjoy!
    Big hugs,
    Rhoberta
    HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
    What Attachment Theory is and how it informs relationshipsHow Attachment Theory affects your ability to understand your partner's feelings and triggersWhy your Attachment Style can prevent you from establishing the closeness you long forWhat steps you can take to move towards creating a healthier, more secure Attachment StyleJennifer Lehr's journey from what she calls "dismal relationship ability" to being in a happy, healthy relationshipGain insights and hope for creating deeper, healthier bonds
    GUEST: JENNIFER LEHR
    Jennifer Lehr is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the founder of WeConcile, an online program for committed couples seeking help, as well as an educator on the process of living, self-acceptance and stepping into your magic life.

    In 2009, she began writing WeConcile a revolutionary do-it-yourself online educational application that helps couples improve trust, intimacy, safety and connection through established relationship science. She created WeConcile to help couples get free from pain and disconnection, and to again find happiness in marriage. Now, Jennifer Lehr is on a mission to create a world filled with connection instead of conflict. She specializes in educating couples on the relationship skills they need to build a solid, connected and loving partnership. As a marriage and family therapist for nearly 20 years, she uses her knowledge and advanced training in many couples' modalities to help others succeed in their marriage.
    GIFT FOR YOU: Not at this time.
    CONNECT WITH JENNIFER:
    WEBSITE: https://www.weconcile.com
    PODCAST: 
    FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/WeConcile/
    YOUTUBE:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsd-X1BvZv4l4jKkWQmsZ7Q
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/weconcile/
    LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/weconcile/
    TWITTER: https://twitter.com/we_info/
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97
    CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.
    FOLLOW DR. SHALER...
    WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
    PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
    FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor
    TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
    LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
    PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
    If

    • 40 min.
    Blame Shifting: Counteracting This Crazy-Making Way Narcissists Try To Win

    Blame Shifting: Counteracting This Crazy-Making Way Narcissists Try To Win

    Try these strategies and tactics to change the dynamics in your relationship with a #Hijackal when they try to avoid responsibility or accountability, even--and especially--when they feel threatened by a potential flaw of theirs being mentioned.
    You know that everything will be your fault if you're with a narcissist, a Hijackal. The nasty skill of blame-shifting is a sneaky specialty. they hone carefully and practice faithfully.
    Infuriating. Frustrating. Unfair. So, how do you respond? It's trickier than you might think, because it is counter-intuitive. You have to engage with the tactics and strategies in this episode for awhile to change your responses to their blame-shifting. You'll increase your self-confidence when you do.
    Big hugs!
    Rhoberta
    HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
    What blame-shifting is, how it sounds and feels coming at youWhy #Hijackals use blame-shifting to hopefully overpower you and gain the "win"How you can respond so that the #Hijackal does not get the reaction wantedUnderstand how Hijackals want to exploit your fears and probe your weaknessesWhat NOT to do in the face of blame-shiftingWhat TO do that will help you stop second-guessing yourself and save your sanity
    Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97
    CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.
    FOLLOW DR. SHALER...
    WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
    PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com
    FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor
    TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler
    LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler
    INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler
    PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
    YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
    If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.
    Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.
    WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Relationship Help Circles. 50% off your first month. . Safely off social media.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    #blameshifting #whyamItoblame #frustratedbyanarcissist #blamesmeforeverything #noreaction #staycalmandobserve
    #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 
    
    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 36 min.

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