Spam Jam Radio Kanter Loop

In this week’s long awaited Jam we have pasta for breakfast, listen to a suburban alcoholic, order a single muffin, enter a fluid madhouse, and hear a delightful new original song about foul fingers and revolting invitations (what's new?) 
As usual, visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts
Also, if you haven’t already, you should definitely check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure, Gus Tulip Private Dick, here or wherever you get your odd and fantastic content. Till next time, Love and Gravy

In this week’s sleek and sexy Six Minute Jam we make bad toast, sentence a Belgian, make inflight purchases, take pictures of old ladies, and check in on Jesus and his gang 
As usual, visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts
Also, a quick announcement: SJR will be taking a small break to regroup and work on other projects both creative and personal. But it will return soon enough with delightful new material 
In the meantime, please check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure, Gus Tulip Private Dick, here or wherever you get your podcasts - a long overdue new episode will be dropping soon
So, till next time, Love and Gravy to you and yours

In this week’s fantastic Five Minute Jam we get a doggy bag, mock Vanilla Tea, call each other pet names, enter the era of TV Channel Singularity, smell our fingers, discuss married life, have our plans derailed, and deal with an overflowing toilet
Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts
Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal comedy detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts
Please follow and Subscribe. More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy
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Episode Transcript:
Check please
Of course, sir. Was the food not to your liking?
Oh, it was great, but it was just a bit much.  So, yeah, could you please wrap this up for us so we can forget it in the taxi on the way home?
Of course, sir
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Vanilla Tea? 
Yeah
That’s your name?
Yeah. You have a problem with that?
No, why should I have. I’m not the one walking around with name like Vanilla Tea.
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Good morning booty bird
Hi angel butt 
Sleep well wiggle bink?
Perfectly pupi cheeks 
How bout some sugar, smoopy
Here you go love muffin
You so fine pudding shakes
Want some eggs yummy face 
Sure, snugglebum
You got it smoeshiepants
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It was in 2029 that television became overtly specialized. Gone were the sports, news, food and entertainment channels, and in their place myriad others of extremely narrow focus. And so began the era of TV channel singularity. There was a channel featuring only monkeys shooting lazers, and one only showing music clips with red ships. There was one devoted entirely to freshwater explosions, and another to passive aggressive Austrian arguments. There was a channel that exclusively showed drunk men fighting and one parading reptiles in lingerie. The plate smashing channel was a hit, as was the sweeping up channel, and lets not forget the channel that only showed people opening bottles with their bums
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So, with Jim and Sandrine that makes 12
hmm
Wait, you don’t like Jim and Sandrine?
I don’t know. She just looks like a woman who says, ‘get your hands off my man,’ way too often, and he looks like a guy who keeps smells his fingers after digging in his navel
You know people so well Ludovico
It’s a blessing, and a curse
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How’s married life?
It’s good but I miss screwing other girls. You know, random, dumb annoying strangers I meet in shitty clubs with awful music and pretend to listen to and care about. I even miss when girls I’m not at all into jerk me off mechanically and for too long into a deep and depressing numbness
Yeah. That happened to me last weekend. Was amazing
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Whats wrong Giuliano? 
Ah, it’s nothing
No, there’s clearly something the matter. You can tell me. 
Well, it’s just, the man I’ve being lying to and setting up for months had a stroke yesterday, and now I cant defraud him for all his assets
Oh man, that’s tough  – I know how you feel. Some idiot went and killed the guy I was going to beat up and rob last week 
Ugh. So inconvenient
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Oh no, the toilet’s overflowing again
It’s your huge shits Gerald. How many times must I tell you: your shits is too damn big. It’s all that corn and roast goose you eat. all that stewed goat and cheesy fries and banana cream pie. Your turds is just too god damn massive - too thick and chunky. Long as a python, wide as tree trunk. You gonna break Old Betty if you don’t mitigate your bowel movements. Lord knows, something has got to give! 
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Check please
Of course, sir. Was the food not to your liking?
Oh, it was great, but it was just a bit much. So, yeah, could you please wrap this up for us?
Certainly, ill put it in a small paper box with a tiny hole in one corner so it leaks extensively but almost imperceptibly 
Great, and do make sure put that in a plastic bag with a tiny overlapping hole so it spills continuously onto my brand new pants for several minutes before I notice
Of course, sir

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we ask for directions, choose a wine, climb Kilimanjaro carrying an anaconda, don’t enjoy life, celebrate with champagne, read from this year’s fiction finalists, meet a terrific friend, warn someone about a vulgar guest, ask about favorite nations, and get on the line with Doctor Jack
Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts
Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts
More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s Five Minute Jam we tackle the age old debate about pineapple on pizza, buy something with little use, open a couple of cans of beans, admire a silk scarf collection, get rice in our hair, make small talk at a party, get the green light, and lose the ability to pick our nose good
Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts
Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal detective adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts
More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy

In this week’s fantastic Five Minute Jam, we portray some impossible equations, unload the dishwasher on ketamine, hang out with golfers and douchebags, see someone familiar, sing the time, don’t know what to wear to the party, refuse to get down, receive a visit from the huggle brigade, and trade in our loyalty card
Visit www.spamjamradio.com for more, including transcripts
Also check out Kanter Loop’s surreal noir comedy adventure Gus Tulip Private Dick here or wherever you get your podcasts
More soon. Till then, Love and Gravy