Tentpole Trauma Tentpole Trauma

Based on an obscure comicbook character, Madame Web hoped to cash in on the goodwill of the tangentially related Marvel Cinematic Universe as well as the success of the animated Spiderverse films. But the Sony produced movie was ensnared in toxic buzz from the outset, the goofy trailers and mocking reviews ensuring that it would be yet another bomb for a female-led superteam. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they flex their powers of premonition and suffer through this laughably awful spider-flop.

Before Marvel’s Avengers became a household name, there was the quirky 1960’s British spy series made popular by the presence of Diana Rigg in a cat suit. More than thirty years past the show’s prime a big budget feature film was attempted, but despite the presence of OG James Bond Sean Connery, Ralph Fiennes and a post Batman & Robin Uma Thurman donning the catsuit, the movie met with disaster critically and at the box office. Join Sebastian and the Mighty Peculiar’s Matt Anderson as they try to decode this baffling, inexplicable mess of a spy thriller.

Henry Cavill may be a fan favorite choice for Bond, but his forays into the super spy game have met with largely lackluster box office results. This has proven especially true for Argylle, director Matthew Vaughn’s Romancing the Stone riff that left Cavill fans unsatisfied and baffled most audiences and critics. Join Sebastian and Whiskey with Witcher hosts Tim and Valerie as they discuss the former Superman’s departure from the Netflix Witcher series, bizarre hairstyle choices and the questionable usage of new Beatles needle drops.

Hollywood had been looking to get the Planet of the Apes franchise back into orbit for 20 plus years, but it wasn’t until Tim Burton signed on to direct that the 2001 remake took sh(ape). But despite boasting incredible Rick Baker makeups, Marky Mark as the lead human and an impressive box office haul, the reaction to the film was so toxic that 20th Century Fox studios declined to opt for a sequel. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they make monkeys out of themselves trying to unpack the movie’s ruinously bananas twist endings.

Coming strong after the one-two punch of The Terminator and Aliens, director James Cameron was poised to reach A-level status with his wildly ambitious underwater sci fi action film The Abyss. But despite overcoming a torturous and fraught-filled production, the would-be blockbuster left audiences confused upon its 1989 theatrical release and did not ascend to the box office or critical heights Cameron hoped for. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they deep dive into the new spectacularly restored 4K director’s cut and argue over the merits of Michael Biehn’s villainous mustache.

After the billion dollar success of Captain Marvel, a sequel to the Brie Larson led superhero hit seemed destined for the stars. But even with the power of Marvel studios and Disney behind it, not to mention the addition of the characters of Ms. Marvel and Monica Rambeau, Nia DaCosta’s 220 million dollar team-up didn’t even make its budget back worldwide, a catastrophic blow for the once unstoppable brand. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they switch powers, herd man-eating alien cats and try to determine why The Marvels was the biggest bomb in the MCU’s history.