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On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Kate Anthony, CPCC

    • Zelfhulp

On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

    What Dismantling White Supremacy Has To Do With Your Marriage

    What Dismantling White Supremacy Has To Do With Your Marriage

    “If you think what’s going on all across the U.S. doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on inside your marriage, you’re dead wrong.” That’s a line from one of my recent Instagram posts about this week’s podcast topic.  

    So what do racism and systemic racism (AKA white supremacy) have to do with your marriage, exactly?  The same systems that are oppressing and killing black men right now, this entire system of white male supremacy, is the exact same system that we are fighting against in dismantling the patriarchy. 

    And that has everything to do with your marriage. In this episode, I explain how and why in detail. 

    Here's the thing: I decided to just turn on the microphone and address these topics head-on. And as a white woman, with my own implicit biases and blind spots, I may have gotten things wrong. And that's ok. I'm willing to listen and learn and pivot.

    I almost didn't release this episode because I was scared to get it "wrong." But then I realized that that very thought/feeling was part of my own white fragility. This fear is what silences so many white people, and it's our silence that has allowed this to go on for as long as it has.

    White people need to speak up. We need to be willing to step in it, and when we get called out for getting something "wrong," we need to say, "Thank you. I hear you," to those who've taken the time to educate us.

    We don't need to be defensive, or work overtime to prove that we're an "ally." An ally says "thank you," and digests what's been said by the very people we're purporting to support.

    Bottom line: we need to pull this poisonous weed of white supremacy up at its root. Let’s get to work.
    Resources & Links:
    Anti-racism resources

    • 39 min.
    Our Happy Divorce with Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo

    Our Happy Divorce with Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo

    Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo still share a happy life with their son Asher and their spouses and children. 
    As we continue Parenting Month on The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, Ben and Nikki join me to discuss their happy divorce story. Yes, happy. There is no villain in their story. As you’ll hear in this episode, they came to a spot in their divorce where they took accountability for their actions and worked together to create a new life for their separated family. 
    If you’re thinking, "This could never happen to me," I’d like to offer a word of caution: please don't compare where you're at in the divorce process with Ben and Nikki's journey. Instead, use their story as inspiration. We hope that you end up in a place where you see a happy divorce as something you can work to achieve.
    Show Highlights
    The red flags that came up on their wedding day, about getting married. (12:20) The story of their divorce, how it went from what looked like an ugly divorce to one of agreement and solace. (14:52) Divorce doesn't screw up kids. It's how we do our divorces. (20:39) We all take responsibility; we both have to take responsibility for our parts. (30:18) Ben and Nikki' s negative experience going to divorce class. (36:06) Advice for those getting divorced who may not be in the same place as Ben and Nikki, what you can do if you are on one side of divorce and not being met on that side by your partner. (53:50) New relationships after divorce, Ben and Nikki got their new significant others on board with your unique link. (57:40) Learn More About Ben and Nikki:
    From weeknight dinners and homework sessions to Christmas card photos and vacations, Nikki and Ben have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their spouses and children.
    Resources & Links:
    Our Happy Divorce Website
    Our Happy Divorce on Facebook
    Our Happy Divorce on Instagram
    Our Happy Divorce on Twitter
    My Band was Featured on The Voice - Watch!
    Eagle Rock Isolation Band
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 1 u. 14 min.
    Parenting Apart with Christina McGhee

    Parenting Apart with Christina McGhee

    This week Christina McGhee, a divorce parenting expert whose practical advice has been highlighted both online and in print, is on the show. She is also the author of Parenting Apart, a book for divorced or separated parents. Christina is helping me kick off Parenting Month and I couldn’t think of anybody better to do so! She is an advocate for keeping the focus on kids even during the most emotional and tumultuous time of your life — divorce. 
    Co-parenting through a divorce is, for most of us, uncharted territory. We don't know what to expect. We’re dealing with so many strong emotions that it's not an easy road to navigate — even under the best of circumstances. In this episode, Christina provides some insightful advice and guidance for divorced or separated parents who wish to keep the focus on family, even after the marriage ends. 
    Show Highlights
    How to maneuver parenting after divorce, and putting yourself first. (7:00) How you can move forward in the best possible way and have happy, secure, resilient kids. (21:00) Watch your messaging: you are sending a really powerful message to your kids about what they should expect out of a relationship. (22:00) How to bring the best version of who you are to your job as parents. (26:07) What to do if your ex is resisting a co-parenting relationship or plan. (32:00)  Developing a guiding principle for when things get tough. (48:00) What to do when your child tries to play both sides of the co-parenting fence. (49:00)



    Learn More About Christina McGhee:
    Christina McGhee is a “media savvy” divorce-parenting expert whose practical advice has been highlighted both online and in print.  Over the years, she has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, tele-summits and webinars. Some of the places you may have seen her are, Today Parents, Parenting Magazine, The Times, Channel 4, the BBC, NYU Doctor Radio and The Dr. Laura Berman Radio Show on the Oprah Network just to name a few.
    Christina is an informative and engaging guest who brings insight and strategies to help separating families deal with “real-life” challenges.  As a zealous advocate for children she does an excellent job of keeping the focus where it belongs…on kids.
    Christina speaks on a wide range of topics from what to do in the beginning stages of separation to dealing with issues years down the road.  She is also skilled at addressing tough issues like discipline differences, dealing with a difficult ex, high-conflict personalities, badmouthing, and neutralizing divorce drama.
    Resources & Links:
    Christina’s website
    Christina on Facebook
    Parenting Apart by Christina McGhee
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 57 min.
    Negative Intimacy and Forgiveness

    Negative Intimacy and Forgiveness

    This week I’m bringing you a solo episode, and I’m talking all about negative intimacy and forgiveness. First, let’s talk about negative intimacy. In a nutshell, negative intimacy is the continuation of unhealthy dynamics of your marriage long into your divorce — something I engaged in for about five years post-divorce!
    In this episode, I offer some questions to ask if you think you’re in a negatively intimate relationship with your ex or soon-to-be-ex, such as: “What is the connection you are trying to keep alive?”

    Understanding why you’re seeking this connection and then moving on from it is all part of the letting go process. Letting go happens over time, and often in waves. And it is a process. Extricating yourself from past relationship patterns is where the real divorce happens. 
    I also sound off on the difference between forgiveness and resentment. And, know this, you don’t have to forgive someone. However, you should work through and process your resentments. Listen in, reach out if you need guidance, and stay well! 
    Show Highlights
    How to hold your boundaries and you shift the relationship dynamic. Why negative intimacy typically revolves around your children. You don’t HAVE to forgive someone.  Why you should process through your resentments.  A Mother’s Day message reminder - ask for what you need. Resources & Links:
    Me in the New York Times! Podcasts Inspired by Love and Relationships
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
     

    • 28 min.
    How to Divorce During a Pandemic with Erin Levine

    How to Divorce During a Pandemic with Erin Levine

    This week Erin Levine, entrepreneur, legal innovator, and Certified Family Law Specialist, joins me on the podcast. She’s here to help close out Legal Month. (Don’t worry, I'll surely be revisiting legal topics in the future!) Erin is the founder of Hello Divorce, a modern breakup service, offering affordable, convenient, and online divorce options. I'm thrilled to have Erin on the show.
    Most of the world is in some form of lockdown right now. It feels like life is at a standstill for many. As I discussed a few weeks ago, you may be stuck and isolated with the person you have either asked for a divorce or were in the midst of divorce proceedings already. 
    So, now what? Do all the legal proceedings and preparation stop? Well, no. 
    In fact, in this episode, Erin shares several divorce planning strategies you can do while in the middle of a global pandemic. You can keep moving forward, even during times of uncertainty. In fact, the actions you take today can help you to feel empowered. Times feel scary and anxious right now, but you can still gain power, grow, and stretch yourself in meaningful, new ways. 
    Show Highlights
    Be aware of divorce legal companies' scams or misrepresentations. (7:11) How to know whether you should pause divorce proceedings or continue to move forward during a pandemic.  (9:14) Now is an excellent time to reflect: Sometimes we need to sit back, take a deep breath, look at the facts and decide: was the settlement proposal previously made in my best interest? (11:00) If you don’t have anything hammered out, it’s important to put a temporary order in place, even just to get you through this period. (12:47) Get organized: see what it is you have, what you don't have, and what you need to get in order. (14:00) Get educated: what do you need to do in your state, and what does the entire divorce procedure look like where you’re located? (16:00) Meet with a legal coach or a certified divorce financial analyst. (22:00) How to know when you should slow the process down and take a break. (30:11) Learn More About Erin Levine:
    Erin Levine is an entrepreneur, legal innovator, and Certified Family Law Specialist. She is the founder and CEO  of Levine Family Law Group and Hello Divorce, a “modern breakup service” offering an affordable, convenient, and online divorce option. Erin is also the co-founder of Love & Real Life, a platform designed to empower women by helping them to craft postnuptial and prenuptial agreements that comport with their values and way of life. Her awarding winning legal technology and access to justice work has been recognized by the legal industry and beyond – with recent features in Above the Law, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Ozy, Brit + Co,  and Mind Body Green.  
    Resources & Links:
    Erin’s website
    Erin on Instagram
    Erin on Twitter
    Erin on Pinterest
    Erin on Facebook
    Erin on LinkedIn
    The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
    Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

    • 45 min.
    Divorce and Your Money with Shawn Leamon

    Divorce and Your Money with Shawn Leamon

    • 1 u. 6 min.

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