Ballot : Trump Guilty and all things politics and the election with Biden and RFK Caloroga Shark Media

 
It's an explosive battle of the septuagenarians as Biden and Trump trade shocking blows in the race for the White House! We'll take you through all the cringe-worthy highlights.
First, disturbing accounts emerge of Grandpa Joe practically zoning out during crucial meetings on Ukraine aid and energy policy. Sources claim a barely-there, blink-and-you-missed-it POTUS who needed triple espresso shots just to mumble "more javelins". 
Then it's on to the dueling dementia as Kevin McCarthy details Biden's wild PM/AM lucidity swings during the debt ceiling psycho-bidergy. One minute a lively negotiator, the next a drooling Jell-O cups pitchman! The White House shrugs it off as just some 9D chess brain work.
Not to be outdone, Trump's 2016 rants about indicting Hillary for a "crisis" and "government halting" get thrown back in his now felonious face. The sheer obliviousness required to become the very situation he once fear-mongered over is simply *chef's kiss*.
But chin up, Don! Those new swing state polls showing Biden inching ahead in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania should totally revive your campaign trail pep! Or...maybe give your MAGA base anxiety over losing its fabled "Blue Wall" stranglehold?
It's a true clash of the Crypt Keeper titans - fromDeliriumDonald to SlurryJoe, no ageist insult will be spared! Drool rags at the ready, this one's gonna get gnarrrrrly! Forget the largest promissory lead, it may come down to whoever can simply stay conscious the longest.  
So settle in for all the golden giggles as we gleefully mock the dueling den-tures of our archetypal American candidates. 'Cause Lord knows, if we don't get some sick yucks out of their escalating decrepitude, we'd probably just have to cry into our prune juices!

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Trump loves early voting and mail-in voting!

Biden throws around the word unhinged.

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We'll explore the raunchy renaissance of Stormy Daniels, whose Trump-inspired comedy show is selling out fast in the wake of the hush money verdict. Just maybe avoid any jokes about...you know what.

And in a wild pivot, those unvaccinated MAGA fans are apparently rallying behind their icon Trump in a big way according to one poll - chugging "horse dewormer chasers" and mocking Dr. Fauci all the way.  

Finally, no satire would be complete without torching Trump's latest self-own by joining TikTok after trying to ban it. 

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It's a midterm election year comedy extravaganza as we satirize the latest legal dramas, campaign antics, and surprise appearances from the biggest names in politics!

We kick things off with the highly anticipated Hunter Biden gun trial, putting an absurdist spin on the dueling forms, drug denials, and potential combative testimony that could unfold. 

Then it's a trip down revisionist history lane as former President Trump brazenly claims he never uttered the infamous "Lock Her Up" chants about Hillary Clinton. We'll take you back to those raucous 2016 rally days with some hilarious impersonations.

But the real star of the show is First Lady Jill Biden making not one, but TWO delightfully outrageous surprise cameos! First, she's spittin' Italian-American flavor at Milwaukee's Festa Italiana, downing cannoli props and dodging protestor "meatballs" like a seasoned vaudeville pro. 

Then Dr. B pulls up to the Pittsburgh Pride parade in a stunner of a floral dress, whipping the crowd into a frenzy of selfies and "Four More Years" chants. We'll break down her inspirational message about authenticity while speculating on potential campaign motives.

It's an episode overstuffed with more comedic surprises than a cannoli catered by AI! So grab a front row seat for all the laughs, gasps, and drastic revisions of reality that make this politics-themed variety special a real showstopper. The battle for Pennsylvania has never been this hilarious!



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Supposedly there is a tape where Trump says something not at all nice.

Meanwhile, RFK is against taking down Confdereate Statues.

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A look at what's next for Trump

Biden and RFK react to the verdict

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