9 episodes

Riotous chat from a couple of middle-aged matrons who swear too much & have no fucks left to give. They’ll be banging on about body parts, sharing entirely inappropriate anecdotes, and exploring all that life has thrown at them. Breasts, dating, periods, exercise, housework, cooking, being fat, getting naked and everything in between. Brace yourselves, listeners…

Middle Aged Fat Lasses Sarah Simons

    • Comedy

Riotous chat from a couple of middle-aged matrons who swear too much & have no fucks left to give. They’ll be banging on about body parts, sharing entirely inappropriate anecdotes, and exploring all that life has thrown at them. Breasts, dating, periods, exercise, housework, cooking, being fat, getting naked and everything in between. Brace yourselves, listeners…

    Vaginas

    Vaginas

    Front bottom. Va-jay-jay. Pussy. Flaps. Around 50% of humans are vagina-owners, so why is there still so much confusion about what a vagina is and how it works? From concerns about tiny gynaecologists accidentally falling in, to the horror of giant-headed babies roaring through it like a pack of wild dogs, Sezl and Simons take you on a wild ride round their lady parts. It's not for the faint hearted.

    • 40 min
    Naked

    Naked

    Ever wondered what it would be like to unwittingly attend an orgy or accidentally shoot a truck load of fireworks at a group of naked men, at midnight, while dancing round an ancient stone circle? Well wonder no more! 
    In this episode the lasses recall a few memorable mishaps, as well as exploring nakedness in all its glory. Get your kit off, love!

    • 40 min
    Housework

    Housework

    It started off as a chat about keeping clean and tidy, but within minutes the ladies are celebrating the word slag, and fizzing with outrage about the creepy 1980s TV interviews on 19 year old Princess Diana's virginity. They also talk about their own housekeepng skills. One is an domestic expert, one is a scruffy old mare. 

    • 29 min
    Exercise

    Exercise

    In this episode the ladies grudgingly admit that a bit of jiggling about might be good for the health. One Sarah  reveals why she was born to wade through the surf hoisting a fisherman over her head, while the other Sarah bitterly regrets her accidental encounter with The Real Housewives of The Sahara Desert. Hilarity, blisters and chafing ensues. 

    • 40 min
    Periods

    Periods

    On the blob. Crimson tide. Shark week. In this episode the Middle Aged Fat Lasses cast a keen eye over periods. 
    The ladies recall the sophistication of a tampon carrier,  being terrified about starting their period in a swimming pool and blood clots in the shape of Africa.
    Everything you've ever wondered about other people's periods and more. 

    • 30 min
    Cooking

    Cooking

    This episode sees Sezl & Simons chat all things culinary, from the delicate beauty of a Parisian feast, to the first taste of tikka masala after a night up ‘The Grinning Rat’. As usual the ladies veer wildly off topic, exploring subjects from chickens multi-purpose bum holes, to tracking down Bette Midler in a New York City restaurant.
    Disgraceful behaviour. 

    • 34 min

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