Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen Heidi Benjaminsen

Our life made up for billions of moments/experiences and each experience has three layers:
The actual experience. Our awareness of the experience. The story or meaning we create about the experience. Listen to episode 183 as Heidi Benjaminsen shares and breaks down several experiences of her life into these three layers.
You'll learn that actual experiences only last a short period of time.  Heidi teaches how having the awareness inside our body helps us feel any emotion and know it will pass in time.  Being able to handle any emotion allows us to stay in our lane and stay calm and anchored.
Heidi shares how we are shaped most in life by the third layer, the stories we tell about each experience.  She teaches how to make meaning in our life that will create the life experiences we really want.
Would you like to know how to calmly handle the silence when your college student doesn't reply to texts or calls?  Click here for instant help! 

It sounds like a kind desire to have towards others - wanting them to be happy and feel good.
This desire works... until it doesn't and this thought becomes toxic and creates stress (in us and them).
And disconnects us from the people we love most who experience human and negative experiences.
When others are sad, grieving, disappointed and more, they don't need us to tell them we really want them to be happy.  (If we do this, they don't want to be around us - which is usually the opposite of what we want.)
They need us to witness their negativity, they need validation and support.
They don't need "fixing", which is what it feels like (unintentionally!) when we want everyone to be happy.
Ironically, as we sit with others in their negativity, they naturally feel "better" because they feel seen and loved.
Which is what we all want anyway.
Listen to episode 182 to hear the reasons why we don't want people to be happy all the time and how to create more humanity and love in our relationships.

Humans are like magnets.  Something in our make-up attracts or repels certain people.
I believe OUR VIBE or our energy attracts certain people, certain successes, and certain failures in our life.
And our VIBE repels others.
Our vibe includes our nervous system - how we hold our body, the words we use, our mannerisms, how we dress, act, don't act, how we talk about ourselves and others.
This is the energy we put into the world.
And energy follows energy.
Listen to this replay of one of the most downloaded episodes to hear how to identify and change anything about your VIBE that isn't how you want your life to look.
Goodness and confidence are out there.
Now let's attract more of this into our lives!

Because our brains are "wired" on default to look for the negative, feeling more joy in life isn't an automatic process.
It requires focus and intention and practice. 
First, we have to recognize what is STEALING our joy.  And neutralize these "joy thieves".
Listen to a replay of episode 11 to hear the many human ways we all let joy be stolen from us.
And hear Heidi explain HOW to increase our joy - in small and big ways.
A joyful mother (who also feels the negative) is the greatest gift to her family!

All moms worry if they are "good enough"; we are biologically wired to care about this.
This "worry" becomes a problem when we look to our children or external factors to determine if we are good enough.
It's an even bigger problem if we think we need to be "perfect".
Listen to episode 179 to hear advanced certified life coach Heidi Benjaminsen discuss what makes us a good mom.
When we think we are a good mom, we act in a way that reinforces this belief.
Good moms are everywhere and doing things very differently.
A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!
 
 

Summary
In this episode, I discuss the tendency common to everying - wishing others were different from who they are. It's something I've noticed in the people I coach, and it's a struggle I've faced in my own relationships with family and friends. Throughout the episode, I explore how these wishes create barriers between us and the people we care about, hindering our ability to truly understand and appreciate them. I challenge the notion that others need to change for us to feel differently, emphasizing the power of changing our own thoughts to shape our emotions. I provide listeners with practical tools to dismantle these barriers and foster deeper connections with others. Examples:
I share examples of common wishes, such as wanting a partner to be more handy around the house or wishing for more frequent communication from a parent. I discuss the challenges of accepting children for who they are, including desires for them to be more outgoing or neurotypical. And more! Lessons Learned:
I encourage listeners to examine their beliefs about why certain traits are perceived as better than others. I emphasize that our emotions are shaped by our thoughts, not by the actions of others. I urge listeners to embrace discomfort and take responsibility for their own emotions rather than expecting others to change. I highlight the importance of recognizing and appreciating both strengths and weaknesses in ourselves and others. I advocate for a focus on personal growth while simultaneously accepting and loving others for who they are.