29 episodes

Mike & Elisa are 30 somethings exploring their polyamorous relationship. They discuss how they decided to open up their relationship, what it is like to be married and poly, their dating experiences, and so much more.

Poly+Amor=Us Mike & Elisa

    • Society & Culture

Mike & Elisa are 30 somethings exploring their polyamorous relationship. They discuss how they decided to open up their relationship, what it is like to be married and poly, their dating experiences, and so much more.

    OOTO for the Holidays

    OOTO for the Holidays

    We are taking a short break from the podcast for the holidays, but don't worry! We'll be back in January AND we will be interviewing members of the Poly and ENM community! Woohoo!
    Also, I've been working on a course on how to open up an existing relationship! I get questions about this so often, that I figured it's time to make a course about it. If this is something you are interested in, please sign up here to be the first to know when it's completed! 
    Lastly, all episodes from this past season will be going up on Youtube! Quite a few people have expressed how much they like watching us and miss seeing that content! So, the episodes will be up shortly. Subscribe to our Youtube Channel to get notified when new episodes are available!
    That's all for now! Happy Holidays and we will see you in the New Year!
    Love,
    Elisa & Mike 
     
    For Peer Support, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
    If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
    Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    • 9 min
    Does size really matter?

    Does size really matter?

    This is the final episode of our 3 part mini series about the book Sex at Dawn. Specific topics in today’s final episode include:
    Comparing body size and mass of males and females in different ape species.
    So, does size really matter? Yes, it actually does!
    How often are we and all the other primates having sex? Why does this matter?
    Known Ovulation vs. Concealed Ovulation
    Sperm competition and the battle within a woman’s vagina.
    A woman’s body has the ability to deny a certain man’s sperm if it isn’t compatible with her.
    Why are women so loud during sex?
    Why can a woman have multiple orgasms when her male partner can not?
    Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
    Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
    Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
    Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
    Loving the podcast? Support us!
    We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
    If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
    Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    • 39 min
    Living That Bonobo Lifestyle

    Living That Bonobo Lifestyle

    This is Part 2 of our mini series about the book Sex at Dawn. We have wanted to do an episode about this book for so long and it’s finally here! There’s so much to cover, so we split our conversation into 3 episodes. Specific topics in today’s second episode include:
    The origins of Swinging!
    How physical relationships bond together communities.
    Modern day diseases and stress don’t exist in modern hunter gather societies.
    Is our “civilized” society really making us happy?
    Has hoarding resources become the measure of success in our society?
    Comparing social structures of chimpanzees, gorillas, bonobos and humans.
    How the standard narrative has become ingrained in our modern society.
    Are we living in alignment with our true nature?
    How religion has punished and shamed society for sexual behavior and how that’s been ingrained in modern society.
    If monogamy is natural why is it still so hard for people all over the world to stay faithful?
    Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
    Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
    Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
    Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
    Loving the podcast? Support us!
    We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
    If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
    Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    • 30 min
    Darwin’s Best Kept Secret

    Darwin’s Best Kept Secret

    This is Part 1 of our mini-series about the book Sex at Dawn. We have wanted to do an episode about this book for so long and it’s finally here! There’s so much to cover, so we split our conversation into 3 episodes. Specific topics in today’s episode include:
    What is the standard narrative? When did it come about and is it still relevant?
    Did Hobbs and Darwin know that our ancestors weren’t monogamous?
    We look at how Flinstonization was used when researching the social structures of our ancestors.
    Which ape species are we most closely related to, and what does that have to do with our sexuality and social structures?
    Logistics of hunter gather societies and how hoarding is shameful.
    Sharing is caring!
    I tell the story of a modern day hunter-gatherer society and their social structure and how they view sex.
    Societies that don’t use the nuclear family system have children that never feel isolated, unloved, or traumatized by divorce.
    What would it look like if we transitioned back to smaller communities within communities, similar to a little compound.
    Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
    Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
    Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
    Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
    Loving the podcast? Support us!
    We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
    If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
    Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    • 40 min
    Living in the Gray Area

    Living in the Gray Area

    This week we talk about what it means to live life in the gray areas. Nothing in life is black and white and that includes our relationships! Specific topics include:
    As we’ve seen, monogamy works for some people but not everyone. Same with polyamory. So, why can’t we live somewhere in the middle?
    Humans love to put labels on each other so we can easily understand each other. But not everyone fits into the labels and boxes we’ve created.
    What is monogamish or monogamy +
    Do monogamous people actually use “hall passes” or allow exceptions?
    Exceptions should be normalized if they feel beneficial. But the don’t ask don’t tell rule should not apply. It can be harmful.
    Get it out of your system vs. enjoy a temporary experience
    Imagine if we talked about having gray area or wiggle room in a relationship UP FRONT instead of waiting for an attraction to start. What would that be like?
    We don’t always know what we want out of relationships when they first start. So, rules and boundaries outside of monogamy should be discussed up front.
    Not all rules and boundaries are set in stone. It’s ok to change to fit your needs!
    Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
    Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
    Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
    Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
    Loving the podcast? Support us!
    We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
    If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
    Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    • 44 min
    Let’s talk about S-E-X

    Let’s talk about S-E-X

    Recently, a lot of people have been asking if we are worried about getting STD’s because we are polyamorous. So, we wanted to dive into this question further!
    Specific topics include:
    Polyamorous people are NOT more likely to get an STD than monogamous people. The risk is the same.
    Many of us are not actually practicing monogamy while we are dating. We sleep with multiple people at the same time until we decide to commit to one person. The risk of getting an STD is just as high or higher than a polyamorous person.
    Many of us were not being as intentional about our partners at this time, and we were not having conversations about STD’s and safe sex.
    Sometimes, our intention was to just go out and find a guy to have sex with. Even though we eventually wanted a monogamous relationship, we were not practicing monogamy while dating and go out and having fun.
    Most polyamorous people are looking for relationships and deep, intimate, emotional connections. Sex is not the main drive, so they are much more intentional about who they choose to have sex with.
    Always use protection!! This is extremely important no matter what kind of relationship style you are in.
    Ask new partners if they have any STD’s BEFORE engaging in sexual activity.
    Talk about your rules and boundaries with your partners. It’s always good to know when your partner is going to become sexually active when a new partner.
    Everyone should be getting tested regularly.
    Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
    Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
    Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
    Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
    Loving the podcast? Support us!
    We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
    If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
    Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    • 42 min

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