Break The Chain Podcast James Dear

In this episode, I speak to a truly inspiring woman, Stephanie Crean.

We do not speak much about the devastating events that shaped her life due to their heinous nature and the effects that they have left on her family and community. When Stephanie was just 2 years old, 4 men were ordered to murder her father. The first time they arrived at their house her was holding Stephanie in his arms, she was just 2 years old at the time. They were ordered to return and kill her even if he was holding his 2-year-old daughter. When he returned to the door he was not holding Stephanie and was tragically murdered.

By the estimations of many these acts were unforgivable, however, after seeing the suffering that the events of the past were bringing to family and community she realised, on a deep level, that she had to make a change. In the morning, in the early hours, she wrote a letter addressed to the 4 men who had killed her father (Chris Crean). In that letter, Stephanie expresses complete and compassionate forgiveness for these men – “so that you may have peace and I too. So that our families may have peace, and so that the community may have peace also. So that the nation may have peace, because that is what is right.”

There was a recent movie made about the killing of her father titled “Resolve”.

Her letter is deeply moving and has affected the lives of many people. I highly recommend reading it. You can read the letter on her blog, My Life's Journey, by clicking the link below:
https://www.facebook.com/mylifejourneyblog/posts/1967749856837704



You can watch the full movie about her father's story on YouTube by clicking the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSnU43PYYjE&t=1349s

Are you addicted to alcohol or substances and finally ready to do something about it but don't know where to start?   

Then this episode is for you.  I talk to Marek Hyde a recovering addict who has worked in the addiction field for 6 years. We are aware that the path to sobriety can be an overwhelming one. This is why we wanted to share with you some of the different options that you have in the United Kingdom whether you have access to money and other resources or not.   



Some of the different options that we discuss are,  

-The NHS route 

-Checking in with a GP 

-Local addiction services 

-The importance of finding an advocate 

-Alcoholic Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous 

-Seeing a counsellor  



Some of the services mentioned were,  

-Carpenters Arms 

-Loughborough https://www.carpenters-arms.org/  

-Betels https://www.betel.uk/  

-Jericho house https://www.jerichosociety.org.uk/location/derby/   

-Guide to free addiction helplines https://www.lifeworkscommunity.com/addiction-treatment/guide-to-uk-free-addiction-helplines  



Useful contacts 

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/recreational-drugs-alcohol-and-addiction/drug-and-alcohol-addiction-useful-contacts/

What does it mean to be a man? Where do we get ideas about what that means?   

In this episode, I was joined by retired muay Thai champion and mental health advocate Richie hardcore to explore this idea amongst some other topics such as mental health and addiction. Richie is also an educator and public speaker who works in family and sexual violence prevention, and fitness. He also spent 6 years working in drug harm prevention.  

Richie stated that he was a sensitive kid that liked reading books but fighting at school made him cool. Being masculine also made him feel strong and cool but he said that he was fortunate enough to be steered away from that path and didn't turn to gangs and violence like his friends. He credited a lot of this to his passion for martial arts and the sober culture of the straight-edge hardcore scene.  

Richie shares his life story then we dive deep into ideas surrounding masculinity from both a sociological and spiritual perspective. Finally, Richie tells us about his battle with depression and suicidal ideation and how he pulled himself out of that dark place.   

I really enjoyed this conversation. Richie does some fantastic work, please check him out.   

https://www.richiehardcore.com/podcast https://www.facebook.com/richie.hardcore 

https://www.instagram.com/richiehardcore/?fbclid=IwAR2RQyyoQsg7S96MDvqhmBmE0aDmgQzgOMctup7CY7xhK5t788RXyOMyZFc

In this episode, I talk to ex US marine and MMA fighter Tim Lodgen about his 27 year battle with alcoholism and other substances. Tim tells us that he doesn't remember his 20s and his drinking got really bad whilst during the Marine core. He suspects that it got worse due to trauma from the marines as well as his father leaving when he was 7. Tim tells us that he was drinking shots before work, being verbally abusive to his family, crashed a car and didn't remember, and was facing jail time due to his anger. Tim hit rock bottom when his wife told him that he couldn't be there anymore and shortly after his wife found him in the process of taking his own life.   

Tim got sober when his good friend and Jackass star Brandon Novak called him when he was at his lowest point offering him the opportunity of a lifetime. Brandon got him a plane ticket and booked him into rehab. After going through the 12 step rehabilitation process Tim has now been sober for 10 months and radiates nothing but gratitude. He is on a mission to change the world for the better.   

Tim said “Giving up is not an option, getting up is the only option”, “I didn’t realize I was in a cage and the one holding the key”  This is an inspiring story of hope that proves that it is possible to get sober even after 27 years.  

Please follow Tim's journey   

@Lodgen_tim on Instagram or Tim Lodgen on Facebook  

You can support the podcast and help us by making a donation to our Patreon. Break The Chain is not for profit and relies on your kindness and support to keep the show on the road.   

https://www.patreon.com/breakthechain   

:)

In this episode, we talk to sex therapist and porn researcher Jo Robertson. 

We talk about navigating the new porn landscape and the effects that it is having on children, teenagers, and adults. We also talk about the dynamics between sex life and living a happy and fulfilling life.  

Some of the topics that we cover are  

-How the porn landscape has changed over the years 

-Should sex be positioned as the goal of life? 

-The effects of using porn 

-The age of children/teenagers when they first come into contact with porn and what parents should do about it 

-The subliminal messages that are found in porn 

-Healthy ways of learning about sex 

-Consent and sexual violence 

-Porn in relation to mental health and addiction 

-What age should we talk to children about porn  

Jo is a sex therapist and betrayal trauma specialist. She has a post-graduate diploma in counselling and a masters of science in medicine specialising in sexual health and psychosexual therapy. She also works as the Research and Training Lead for The Light Project, which is a charity equipping youth, their families, and professionals to navigate the new porn landscape.   

To find out more about the amazing work that Jo does please take a look at her website and the other work she is involved with.   

https://www.jorobertson.org/ 

https://thelightproject.co.nz/ 

Instagram @sextherapistjo

www.clue.com  

In this episode, I talk to my friend Josh Rhodes about ketamine addiction, its consequences, harm reduction, and the journey to sobriety.   

As many people will know ketamine has some heavy consequences when paired up with addiction and excessive usage. If you are interested in this then skip to the end where we also talk about harm reduction. We decided to wait until the end because they can be difficult to talk about.   

Josh suffered from "K bladder" (bladder cystitis). The symptoms were severe and would cause him to pass urine and jelly-like substances in his urine. He had multiple operations to address this problem including a cancer scare. He has now managed to start a new life where he only occasionally uses when he goes home to where he suffered the worst with his addiction (around 3 times a year) and his bladder situation has improved considerably.   

We also discuss other effects such as  K-cramps, the nature of addiction, social, financial, family problems.  

Ketamine’s effects when abused. (This is an absolute guess but based on what I have observed. 2+ grams per day consistently can cause these problems. Everyone is different and some manifest symptoms way sooner. Not likely to happen from mild usage and has been proven safe to use in medical and clinical circumstances.)  

-bladder walls become thickened and lose elasticity. Potential cystitis, and ulceration.  

-urinary tract (urine in the blood) 

-extremely painful to pass urine 

-back pain -blocked kidneys 

-kidneys can become damaged due to increased pressure caused by shrunken bladder 

-potential kidney failure -incontinence -bladder cystitis 

-shrunken bladder (50ml) 

-thickened bladder walls 

-scarred bladder  

If you stop using most cases show a dramatic improvement within 3 months.   

Some of our harm reduction tips are:  

-Cook the ket into powder and avoid using it in crystal form. 

-Drink plenty of water even before bed. It may seem counterintuitive but it will help your bladder to be less irritated. 

-Before bed or even during the day, sniff water before bed to clear out nostrils to prevent damage to your nose. 

-Don’t swallow the chemical into the stomach. 

-Eat well and try to take care of yourself the best you can.  

Most of all make a proactive move towards getting into recovery - don’t stay in the dark.