32 episodes

Christian messages on dating, relationships, finances and marriage and life brought to you by Oasis-Church-NJ.com

Christian Dating Service Reviews | Dating Advice | Christian Singles Podcasts David Butler

    • Christianity

Christian messages on dating, relationships, finances and marriage and life brought to you by Oasis-Church-NJ.com

    Learning How to Argue and Fight

    Learning How to Argue and Fight

    The best dating tip we could give Christian singles is learning how to  argue and fight. That may sound like whacky dating advice unless you know that the top reason both dating and married couples break up is a lack of communication in the area of conflict-resolution.

    This is very important, so let me reiterate this dating advice a different way: Learning how to fight and argue successully is the best way to a lasting and happy dating and/or married relationship. Why? Because conflict in this life is inevitable, so you better learn how to deal with it.

    Single Christians who never learn the art of fighting and arguing will most likely fail in any romantic dating relationship they enter. This is true whether they seek a soulmate through an online Christian dating service such as eHarmony, or any other way.

    Additionally, ever meet that dating perfect match who looked so good together, and claim they never argue or fight? Don’t believe it. That romance made in heaven will be headed south soon unless they acknowledge the reality of conflict and arguments, and learn how to fight.

    Whether you are a single person already dating or only hoping to, the following dating tips on learning how to argue and fight will be helpful:

    Learning How to Argue and Fight

    Dating Tip 1:

    Honestly and lovingly confront the problem, but leave out the personal attacks on your dating mate. If the argument or fight devolves into attacks on personhood, the battle (and possibly the dating relationship) has been lost.

    Adam did this in the Garden after God confronted him with the problem of eating forbidden fruit. Instead of honestly acknowledging the problem, he put personal blame on both Eve and God: “This woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.” (Gen. 3:12)

    Honestly addressing conflict sometimes means swallowing our pride by admitting we are part of the problem. Ever wonder what God would have done if Adam honestly admitted his part?

    Dating Tip 2:

    Listen to what the other person is actually trying to communicate. That means having earnest eye to eye contact as you open up your ears and heart, because communication can take place verbally, by action or body language. So, it’s important that you understand all these forms.

    Many dating singles have a lack of communication in the area of conflict-resolution because they’re too busy thinking about their argument response rather than listening from the heart.

    Don’t forget there was a reason God (James 1:19) told us to be quick to listen,

    • 42 min
    Why Christians Singles Date Less Due to Anger Issues

    Why Christians Singles Date Less Due to Anger Issues

    It seems like everyone is so angry nowadays. Everyone seems to have a beef. Democrats hate Republicans: Republicans hate Democrats. This anger we see in the culture even permeates into the dating world. Nowadays dating profiles from sites like Tinder to Christian Mingle, often have an edge of anger to them.  Lately, I’ve read more than a few profiles from Christian singles who state on their profiles: “If you are a Trump supporter please don’t contact me!” Really? Has it really come to this?

    Anger and Christian Singles Dating Dysfunction

    Let’s be honest, nobody wants to date angry people filled with rage, bitterness or hatred. It’s just not a fun and positive experience to even be around such people.  In the internet dating world I see a lot of dissatisfaction. While some singles do come away with positive experiences, most of the thousands of  comments I receive are from  men and woman who have had horrible stories to tell. What has surprised me about these comments is the extreme views, and the level of jadedness. Responses  like “All men are sexist jerks”, “Guys just wants sex?, “All women are whack jobs”  abound. But is this reality?

    Today’s Christian podcast from  David Butler at Oasis talks about the roots of anger and how to deal with it.

    Christian Dating Podcasts

    Christian Dating Sites




    • 48 min
    How to Find God’s Will for Your Life?

    How to Find God’s Will for Your Life?

    Looking to find God’s will for your life? I think most of us would admit that we are a little confused when it comes to finding God’s will for our lives, especially when it comes to finding  Mr. Right or Ms Right. The following podcast from Oasis-Church-NJ.com examines, the roadblocks that keep Christian singles from discovering God’s will in our lives as both single people and married people.

    Hope for the Future

    Christian Dating Podcasts

    Christian Dating Sites Home

    • 50 min
    Christian Dating and Idol Worship: Making an Idol Out of Your Relationships

    Christian Dating and Idol Worship: Making an Idol Out of Your Relationships

    Christian dating and idol worship. I know what some of you are thinking: What in the world does my dating life have to do with idol worship?  Maybe nothing. But maybe everything.

    Idol Worship Definition

    An idol can be can be ANYTHING  in your life that you put before God. That includes your dating life with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s something that takes the glory that God alone deserves, including your time, attention, and money, and transfers it to the object of your affection. 

    Christian Dating and Idol Worship

    I ask  again. Does your Christian dating relationship amount to idol worship? Are you a Christian dater who has turned your relationship into an idol?

    The Bible says: You must not have any other god  before my face. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.  Exodus 20:4,5a

    Idol Worship Test for Christian Singles

    Besides listening to the below podcast on Idol worship, here are three questions to consideras you ponder whether or not you are idolizing your Christian dating relationship.

    Where do you run for comfort?

    What do you fear losing the most?

    What do you make the biggest sacrifices for?

    Christian Singles Podcasts

    Christian Dating Sites

    • 50 min
    Free Online Dating Advice Podcast

    Free Online Dating Advice Podcast

    Getting into a dating relationship is easier than ever since there are so many decent  free online dating advice sites out there, including, Christian dating advice sites like Oasis Singles.  However, keeping that dating relationship growing will be almost impossible without good conversation starter skills.

    Free Online Dating Advice On Listening Skills

    In fact, most couples, whether they are married or in a dating relationship, give lack of communication and listening as the major reason for breaking up. These relationships break down because the parties have forgotten or never learned how to listen to the each other.

    As someone who has done quite a bit of relationship mediation, the truth of the above staement can’t be overstated.That’s why our church podcast for this week centers on improving your dating relationship chances by learning how to listen to your partner. Pastor Bret Avlakeotes, of Spring Hills Community Church in Santa Rosa, California (CA), speaks from the James 1 on this topic sure to interest all Christian singles looking  for free online dating advice for a great Christian dating relationship.

    Related to Online Free Dating Advice:

    Dating Advice-Learning How to Argue and Fight

    Christian Podcasts

    Christian Dating Service

    • 37 min
    How to Deal with Bitterness as a Christian Single

    How to Deal with Bitterness as a Christian Single

    Today we’re going to deal with bitterness as a Christian single. Many of us today are hiding a bitter spirit. Maybe some of us feel bitter because we are still single. If you came here today feeling bitter because you are still single, you’re in good company. People are bitter about many things. The good news is that whatever junk is in your hearts Jesus can change all that if you really want Him to.

    How to Deal With Bitterness

    as the ROOT Cause of All Sin


    I believe the root cause of all evil  is bitter heart. I believe you could trace all sin, we’re going to see in scripture today  that right from the  the big very beginning bitterness was there. What destroys relationships if not bitterness. It’s also bitterness that  causes people to walk into a synagogue or a church or a movie theater and shoot up a joint it’s

    not anything else but bitterness in the heart. Bitterness causes divorce and adultery. Why you can trace a root of bitterness to absolutely ever sin under creation.

    Dealing With Bitterness and Your Past

    A bitter person has a difficult time dealing with the past. I hear bitter people say things like this all the time:

    “Lord why did this person leave me?”

    “I can’t believe how my “ex” treated me. Now he’s found someone new, and I’m just stuck reliving  what went wrong. It’s not fair!”

    “Why did I get such a raw deal?!”

    How many of us have a hard time letting go over a past hurts, rejections and relationship issues? We are tortured by past hurts, and it makes us bitter. Why I still remember what that sixth grade kid did to me.

    The Different Types of Bitterness Singles Face

    Just as there are many types of fruit, there are types of manifestations of  bitterness,. With that let me just say this:

    You can’t help what happens in your life, but you CAN help how you react.

    The Characteristics of Bitterness

    “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:  looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…”

    In our podcast that’s from Hebrews 12:14-15 we will see that:




    But how do these processes occur?

    Bitterness is Deceptive. It’s deceptive on so many different levels. First of all, it’s hard to spot. We may be bitter and not even know it. Or others may be bitter against us, but we will not be able to spot it. Why? Because as the Scripture states, it’s a “ROOT of Bitterness that we must be careful to avoid. We can’t always see everything that meets the eye, even when it comes to our own heart. A bitter person ultimately is a person who holds a grudge against God. This was actually the devil’s first sin. He was self deceived. A bitter person feels he or she deserves better that what God is offering to them. That somehow God is holding back His best from them.  This is deception, and it’s exactly the form of deception the devil used on Eve in Genesis.

    Bitterness is Defiling.  If we refuse to deal with bitterness that has taken root deep in our souls, and perpetuated by a grudge holding, unforgiving spirit, we can ruin any hope for a joyful life and future successful relationships, romantic or platonic. Bitterness is really a form a pride, and that is why it’s so destructive. In fact, if you think carefully about it, it’s the same root of bitterness Satan had that caused him to challenge God.

    Bitterness is Duplicating. What do we mean by that? People who can’t deal with bitterness by rooting it out from their hearts,

    • 45 min

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