Couple of Blokes David 'The Ox' Schwarz and Mark 'Marko' Allen

Fun pod today. Marko has brought in what he calls the Tom Brady of snacks - a new Twisties combo which combines chicken and cheese. The Ox challenges Marko's statement that Tom Brady is the greatest sportsperson in history, by tossing up Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods. Disagreement ensues.
On Tom Brady, The Ox has watched the roast and loved it. He explains to Marko what happened. Ox and Marko don't know why we're not doing roasts in Australia, and they list a bunch of Aussie names who should be roasted. Marko reckons we need to develop the Couple of Blokes roast TV show. The boys reckon there is one person in the world who should be roasted, and that is Trump. Ox reckons Trump is home and hosed for the election, Third Man disagrees but thinks it's tight. Marko is unsure. Whilst we avoid politics on the pod, Marko restates his hatred of councils.
We discuss signs you're getting old. Ox makes the comment that his hearing is 'off the charts' good, and maybe getting better. Markos hearing isn't great. Marko wants to borrow Ox's ear cleaner thing, Ox disagrees saying that you can't share stuff like that.
Has Marko had Botox? We discuss Marko's beauty routines. Ox is a fan of cucumbers on the eyes. Speaking of skin regimes, one of Ox's mates has had a very, very nasty accident involving a certain part of his body. He won't give his mate's name, but he does show a pic. It is horrific. Leads to a conversation about 'ball bags'. We need to know if we should share the photo, if you want to see it, let us know in our Twitter poll (hot tip - you don't want to see it).
On the subject of Ox's mate, we discuss why some kids TV show characters didn't wear pants. Seems weird. And how did this get through the ABC TV censors?
Ox the Statman is back, this week with a stat on Tiger Woods, delivered by Marko who has taken over the segment. It's a bit more complex than previous stats, but a good one.
Marko has been listening to Ox calling the footy on SEN and loving it, Ox has been listening to Daisy Thomas on Triple M calling the footy and is annoyed by his continual use of one specific word - which we find out, from Ox, does not mean what we thought it did! Marko raises a saying that gets said wrong all the time.
Ox has seen a new invention that he is annoyed he didn't think of. He explains. It has to do with peeling a specific fruit. Ox comes up with a name and slogan for this invention. Back onto fruit, Markos hatred of fruit comes up. We'll put a poll up on what you want Marko to eat, which Marko describes as a 'jump the shark' moment. Is he the only person who refuses to eat fruit ?
Ox has been down to e&s trading and he managed to get an awesome deal in an example of incredible customer service, which is what you get at e&s - he explains on the pod.
We're here thanks to the team at the E&S Trading Clearance Centre in Clayton, Melbourne on Dandenong Road - right opposite Ikea. After an incredible deal on amazing gear (just like Ox)? You won't believe the prices! We'd love you to follow a Couple of Blokes, and get involved with the show on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. If you've got a comment or feedback, feel free to send a voicemail to Ox and Marko here. And don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast wherever you listen!

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Aaaaaand we're back. Ox and Marko are back from a couple of weeks off, and ready for a big show.
Breaking news: Marko ran into an ex-girlfriend at a local coffee shop and didn't know how to handle it. He decided to not tell Trish, which seems risky. Marko says that he was a terrible boyfriend and she should have dumped him.
On a more positive note, Marko has brought in a pack of Chickadees which we devour it in about 10 seconds. We discuss where chicken salt was invented, and find out the name of the bloke who invented it. We spend far too long discussing chicken salt and chickadees, but it was very tasty!
Ox reveals an issue with his local golf club - 13th Beach Golf Club. He has a problem with the menu, specifically the duck spring rolls. The numbers in each servings are not ideal, and the chef refuses to change the servings. He's also not happy that the club doesn't accept cash, which means it's difficult to hide how many beers you've had from your other half. He also thinks that menus are written in the wrong font. Too small, too light.
Speaking of restaurants, Marko is sad that Red Lobster in the US has gone out of business, and the reason is hilarious. Marko believes the line 'All You Can Eat' is a challenge, and restaurants are doomed if they go down that path.
Ox gives an update on the toilet that he put on his nature strip as a social experiment. Marko feels that 'toilet art' is a growing category of the arts. Ox and Third Man then have a debate over Wodonga vs Wollongong. And then Ox reveals another crime act that has been committed in Wodonga....is Trev responsible this time? It appears not. Ox says that his neighbours chook is the biggest one he's ever seen. We then talk chooks. Rivetting.
Speaking of animals, Ox the Statman is back, with a great stat about parrots.
Third Man asks if Ox and Marko have seen Baby Reindeer. Marko has no idea about it, Ox has been advised not to watch it. On further investigation, he heard this advice on Smooth FM. Third Man wants Ox and Marko to watch it as homework. Marko is keen as he's got no shows at the moment he's watching, and Ox has just rewatched Peaky Blinders.
We find out that Marko is 'dog-ist'. He didn't like Woodrow from Simon Townsends Wonder World, and he thinks Third Man's dog Archie is 'stupid' because he sleeps all day.
Feedback: Comments on Ox's joint in Wodonga and some of the happenings there. We reveal the results of our recent poll 'Is Joel a Dickhead', referring to the letter that Joel West wrote to 3AW complaining about Ox. And we've received a letter to The Ox supportive of Joel, we'll publish it on our socials. Ox then reveals a weird fact about kitty litters which neither Marko or Third Man believe is true. We wrap the show with a joke, this time it lands on pizza, Ox's fave!
We're here thanks to Paul & Kurt at the E&S Trading Clearance Centre in Clayton, Melbourne on Dandenong Road - right opposite Ikea. After an incredible deal on amazing gear? You won't believe the prices! We'd love you to follow a Couple of Blokes, and get involved with the show on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. If you've got a comment or feedback, feel free to send a voicemail to Ox and Marko here. And don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast wherever you listen!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Recently The Ox came up with a cracking idea to develop gloves made of sandpaper for working on timber, walls, anything really that requires sanding. Brilliant! And yes, we've had multiple messages from listeners saying that the idea already exists, but we're not the kind of podcast to let that get in the way.
So, with thanks to the Couple of Blokes Sound Engineer Daz, we present to you Ox's radio commercial for the Hand Sandy as premiered recently on the Couple of Blokes podcast.
We're in the process of booking the ad onto radio stations all over the country. Sadly for The Ox, his favourite station, Smooth FM have rejected it and said that they won't play it. We can't imagine why.

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Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.
This episode was a bonus ep, and was the one that has received the most feedback that we've ever had. Largely from you speculating on whom the golfer concerned was, which for legal reasons we can't say. We'll replay it now, because you loved it - but - we reiterate a content warning. Don't listen to this ep with the kids around!
Thanks to our good mates at the e&s Trading Clearance Centre.....good time to drop in and rinse them for a bargain, and give Kurt a compliment on his latest hairstyle. They're on Dandenong Road in Clayton, right opposite Ikea.
See you on next Wednesday !

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Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.
Over the break we'll replay some of the episodes that are most memorable in the boys minds. Marko loved the ep where The Ox revealed the drinking game that used to take place on Melbourne Demons end of season trips, which the seasoned players knew how to navigate, the younger ones a little less so. Very funny. On this replay episode you'll hear all about it.
Thanks to our good mates at the e&s Trading Clearance Centre.....good time to drop in and rinse them for a bargain, and give Kurt a compliment on his latest hairstyle. They're on Dandenong Road in Clayton, right opposite Ikea.
See you on May 22!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.
Over the break we'll replay some of the episodes that are most memorable in the boys minds. Earlier this season Marko told a story about being pulled over by policewoman. The Ox reckons she was hitting on him - Mark was far too quick to agree that it was indeed what was happening. There is no evidence to support this, but Marko is very happy to go with it. Ridiculous, but funny. Have a listen.
Thanks to our good mates at the e&s Trading Clearance Centre.....good time to drop in and rinse them for a bargain, and give Kurt a compliment on his latest hairstyle. They're on Dandenong Road in Clayton, right opposite Ikea.
See you on May 22!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.