Documenteers: The Documentary Podcast Bob Sham & Friends

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) by Bob Sham & Friends

We’re in the final stretch of FORCED, our month’s theme where we discuss every STAR WARS film in chronological order, and we’re really feeling the dregs at this point. We got to spread this franchise shit around a little bit more in the future. After we finish all the STAR WARS we’re going to be watching a Carey Grant movie and we can’t wait to get to something that is the complete opposite of a space fantasy. Yeah, we do this voluntarily, and that’s on Bob because he was a little fatigued on this franchise before we scheduled this and we’re definitely never watching these ever again. But if you put a blaster to our heads and made us choose one to rewatch, Rian Johnson’s 2017 contribution to the sequel trilogy “THE LAST JEDI” might be a contender. All the referential onslaught you come to expect but it does seem like Johnson was attempting to do something a little different. Maybe philosophize the force a bit deeper. This movie has its appreciators and some quite vocal detractors but compared to the rest of the trilogy, is this one truly so bad? It had cool looking shit at least. The Holdo Maneuver? Poe Cameron being at his peak coolest? The throne room scene?? SEAMONSTER TITTY MILK CHUGGING?!?!?! YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT DOES NOTHING FOR YOU? Well, now you can just empty your brain and accept our final judgement on this movie that we will never watch again. Did you get the Justin Theroux figure when it came out?

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Our journey that we’ve dubbed FORCED is really starting to feel like just that. We volunteered for this but we’re excited to get back to Earth soon. Now that we’ve survived the Clone Wars, the Fall of the Republic, the rule of the Empire, the fall of the Empire and the rise of the New Republic…it’s high time for the Republic to completely shit the bed once again. Luke Skywalker ran away because that’s what Jedi Master’s do best, apparently, and in his absence a new order has grown in strength. Remember the Death Star? And the Death Star II? Well a whole planet is now a Death Star and it can blow up entire planetary systems. On top of all that, Han and Leia’s kid is masking it up with a guy named Snoke in what is dubbed “The First Order”. Is there any hope in the galaxy once again and can it be a completely blank slate and not connected to these goddamn Skywalkers? We meet Rey (Daisy Ridley) and Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) and Finn (John Boyega) and BB-8 (droids can be balls now) and we re-meet all the nostalgic classic characters because this movie really wants you to know that this isn’t going to be like Phantom Menace. It’s your favorite kind of Ice Cream so let’s feed you an entire tub of it in one sitting. It’s time for “STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS” from 2015 directed by J.J. Abrams and it’s the first of the Disney era trilogy that have become fairly controversial. We were all on the hype tit at the time but how does THE FORCE AWAKENS hold up to current scrutiny? Hear us tell of it.

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May’s theme is FORCED, in which we discuss all the Star Wars films in chronological order and we’re now wrapping up the original trilogies with our discussion of RETURN OF THE JEDI from 1983. This hit franchise flick pretty much sets the tone of what Star Wars will become, jam packed and somewhat convoluted. Its success leads to this inevitability but Return of the Jedi is high on adventure and cool looking creatures. We meet Jabba the Hutt and the Ewoks. Also, we got another Death Star which is another clue that this franchise might be heading back to the well too many times. Boba Fett really goes out like a sucker. Of course we get full Emperor here, probably the best parts of the movie, and an unmasked Darth Vader who pretty much dies from getting a limb hacked off. You would think he would have been used to that by now. Fuck it. Let’s burn his body and see what kinds of party favors they have on Endor. These murder bears really know how to get down. They got the shit that makes you see visions of all the Jedi your dad killed. Including Yoda, that bitch.

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Contact us here: MOVIEHUMPERS@gmail.com
Check our past & current film ratings here: https://moviehumpers.wordpress.com
Hear us on podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6o6PSNJFGXJeENgqtPY4h7
Our OG podcast “Documenteers”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/documenteers-the-documentary-podcast/id1321652249
Soundcloud feed: https://soundcloud.com/documenteers
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/culturewrought

For May’s movie theme, FORCED, we’re discussing every Star Wars film in chronological order including the made for TV movies and we wrap up the “Made for TV Trilogy” with the 1985 follow up to “Caravan of Courage” called “EWOKS: THE BATTLE FOR ENDOR”. Cindel and Wicket are back and that annoying Mace kid? Dead. In fact, the whole family except Cindel is dead and most of the Ewok village is abducted by Orc looking dudes. I’m sure it was all Mace’s fault somehow but this movie is definitely better than its predecessor. Quality is assured because we got ourselves a space hermit played by none other than Wilford Motherfucking Brimley. He may be gruff but he’s got a good heart and will eat all of your porridge. He’s also got a little buddy named “Teek” who runs real fast and is a total scamp. When the sorceress bird lady kidnaps Cindel, then Wilford, Teen and Wicket got to go to the orc castle to rescue her and the rest of the Ewoks. More training for when the Empire comes. Cindel has a new daddy now and let’s hope he has access to proper refrigeration for his insulin.

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Contact us here: MOVIEHUMPERS@gmail.com
Check our past & current film ratings here: https://moviehumpers.wordpress.com
Hear us on podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6o6PSNJFGXJeENgqtPY4h7
Our OG podcast “Documenteers”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/documenteers-the-documentary-podcast/id1321652249
Soundcloud feed: https://soundcloud.com/documenteers
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/culturewrought

Remember the little murder bears in Return of the Jedi? Well, they got a couple of made for TV movies from back in the 80s. This month we’re discussing ALL Star Wars movies, both feature film and TV movies, in a true and final chronological order that is not up for debate. Sorry but we got the final word on this one but we’re excited to present to you your new opinions and we got a couple of Ewok movies that fit snugly between “Empire Strikes Back” & “Return of the Jedi”. They’re pretty well panned kids movies and the one we’re starting off with “CARAVAN OF COURAGE: AN EWOK ADVENTURE” from 1984 definitely takes its critical lumps. But y’know what? That kid is kinda cute running around with Wicket on their little Tolkienesque adventure but that brother of hers, Mace? Oof. What a little shit. They have to save this kid from himself so many times. He gets the heroic feat at the end but are we gonna have to sit through another movie with this character? (More on that tomorrow) Also, those spiders. Yeesh. They cleaned these up and put them on Disney+ so I couldn’t pull many good scenes of Mace constantly crying and almost dying. Why is he dressed like an X-Wing pilot?

Subscribe to us on YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuJf3lkRI-BLUTsLI_ehOsg
Contact us here: MOVIEHUMPERS@gmail.com
Check our past & current film ratings here: https://moviehumpers.wordpress.com
Hear us on podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6o6PSNJFGXJeENgqtPY4h7
Our OG podcast “Documenteers”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/documenteers-the-documentary-podcast/id1321652249
Soundcloud feed: https://soundcloud.com/documenteers
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/culturewrought