EMBRACE THE MADNESS Madeleine Holdford

Ah, people pleasing. Something learned in childhood that may still present itself in our adult lives. This episode is all about my experience with people pleasing and how I imagine it started in my own life. I share about how this all starts with the relationship we have with our caregivers and how it's really just us securing our safety.

But when we are adults, we usually don't need our caregivers to meet our needs anymore, so why are we still prioritizing the feelings of others instead of our own? Oh, because we have created these neural pathways that have wired us to automatically do so. But don't fear, because as we are learning, our brains are PLASTIC which means they can change with a little bit of intention and love.

I also share a little bit about how people pleasing looks different for different identities. Intersectionality presents different scenarios in this case, but the more we can understand how this all shows up in society, the more we can work towards prioritizing ourselves and showing up authentically.

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What do I need to step back from? - 7 of wands, the whisper
What do I need to step towards for the month ahead? - 2 of cups, Growing
What do I need to know about additionally moving forwards? - Knight of Pentacles, courage reversed
How will this be in my best interest? - 9 of cups reversed, curiosity reversed 
What should I be building for the month ahead? - 3 of swords, a new day
Energy I should embrace as a shield for protection, as armor, on my days I don’t feel my best or strongest - Knight of wands reversed, mirrors reversed

Stepping back from persistent effort, doing just got sake of doing, working despite the whisper of intuition. Doing instead of listening to whisper. Forcing an outcome. Forcing a situation. Don't compromise or settle for less. Trust the whisper if it is telling you to take a step back.

Step towards growing love both internally and externally. Looking at situations from the perspective of love. “As we create harmony in our inner world, our outer worlds will begin to reflect that”. You could be experiencing a growth period during this time, one that is restoring the balance between internal and external love.

Moving forwards, there could be times when courage is running low, when things may get hard or scary. You must continue forward, slow and steady if you must, but continue forward. Continue building the momentum. Continue creating and building and forging anew. 

This is all in service of your highest good to restore emotional fulfillment and peace in your life. Become curious about your life, find joy and interest in the mundane. Become curious about what restores this fulfillment in your life? The duality of the lack of fulfillment, use this to get curious about how you would like to feel fulfilled.

For the month ahead, use the pain and the heartbreak to propel you forward into a new day, a new beginning. Acknowledge the pain, but know and trust that there are new times coming and that you can leave this pain behind. “Allow yourself to let go of anything that’s weighing you down and set forth on the path that’s calling.”

Energy to embrace as shield for protection: Everything is a mirror.. Your external world reflects your internal world. Don’t rush immediately into things. Stay present, stay aware, know and listen to when it is time to move forward.

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For everyone participating in Dry January, congrats.. you're doing amazing! For those of you who are curious and have questions, stick around. I share my journey with sobriety and offer encouragement to continue the adventure!

In this episode, we discuss:


sobriety and what Dry January is
how quitting alcohol changed my life
some of the challenges you face when quitting
how to navigate the ups and downs of sobriety
addiction and how it is a chemical relationship
yummy N/A options you will love

We get really deep in this episode, I'm so excited to share with you!

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Listen in for January's reading.. it's a good one :) It's a reminder that we have been building for some time now, but it's GO TIME! if you know, you know... but there is so much support waiting for us!

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Taking some time to reflect on the past year.. wow, 2023 felt like it was from another planet. Lots of ups and downs and twists and turns. But somehow there were glimmers, magic, and exciting times to be found in such a weird year.

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Read transcript

This episode is a re-air from my Patreon all about how to approach and navigate family dynamics during the holidays.

Sometimes holidays and family gatherings are great! Everyone is being polite, kind, respectful. Other times, there is no holding back. Sometimes our family can be our biggest triggers. So how can we get through holiday dinner without punching someone in the face?! In this episode, I share some of the strategies I have used to get through the entire gathering. It's not always easy. Listen to your body, if you need space, take it, and don't forget to honor yourself 3
Happy holidays y'all 3

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