Gaming For Geezers Gaming For Geezers

Episode 8 - Starcraft II. We gush like pre pubescent teeanage girls at a Justin Bieber concert about the near perfect Starcraft II. We are pretty sure it will unite the world and end hunger. Buy this game now, or later, it doesn't matter, because gamers will be playing it for years.

Episode 5 - We explored the latest installment in the wildly popular Warhammer 40,000 franchise, Dawn of War II and were not sold. We enoyed the game and give it high marks in some areas, but if you are an old PC Gamer you have better options for a real time strategy game. Do not buy it, it sucks.

Episode 4 - Bioshock. Nelson admits to crying at the end of this superior single player experience. We recommend that you buy this game, explain why it does not suck, and analyze the presence of 3 year old girls in the game playing universe. We examine why this game does not suck in spite of the lack of a multiplayer element: it is good enough on its own.

Episode 3 - Battlefield Bad Company 2 review. Mr. Crusty and Nelson explore the latest contribution to the Battlefield franchise. They recommend that you buy this game, explain why it does not suck, and analyze Nelson's mouth breathing. Hate mail and cat farts examined at the end of this installation.

Battlefield 2142

By Nelson and Mr. Crusty

Summary: This is the least suckiest game in the universe. Ever. Until we find a better game. This is the archetypical on line multiplaying first person shooter. And it is the best one we have played so far. We review this 2006 game for the purpose to explain our binary rating system: games either suck or they do not. This is the best example of a game that does not suck and we compare it to all other games.

The Single Player Mode. – The ideal single player mode.

You are a soldier in the 22nd century. The ice age has returned. Geopolitical power blocs have condensed to one or two. You must win specific battles as part of a team to protect your nation’s interest in limited resources. But none of this is meaningful as the game is so well designed the back story does not matter. The only cut scenes this game has is at loadup, and you can skip it. It is interesting to watch for the first time.

Battlefield 2142 (BF 2142) is so good that there is only one distinction between the single player and multiplayer game modes unlike the mass audience FPS offerings on the market in this age: your opponents are AI instead of human beings. Practice on this mode before you go on line to avoid frustration. Come back when you want to practice flying the helicopters, but like all good games, there is no material difference between the single and multi player modes, so we can skip to that right now.

Multi-Player Mode – Superior on line gameplay that is still relevant four years later.

People still spill blood on the BF 2142 battlefield. A lot of them. Interest is waning as the new offerings sate many of the needs fed by BF 2142, but the fact this game still has legs is testimony to its superior design.

The Battlefield franchise may have invented the first person on line shooter. If they did not, they certainly deserve credit for perfecting it. BF 2142 is a significant improvement on the original Battlefield 1942, 2, and Vietnam.

Maps – We could write all day about these maps.

DICE gave these maps some thought. There are nuances throughout the game, they are well designed, and they provide something for every player. They range from contained urban fighting environments to expansive desert landscapes. You can find yourself fighting door to door, or launching a tank strike from 10,000 yards to hit an opponent with the assistance of a spotter. Some maps have both. All maps allow players of every style to have meaningful participation and contributions. These maps are the best maps we have seen to date. Nothing compares.

For example, you can participate in a Titan Mode game as a sniper by making your way to a tower to defend a capture point for 20 minutes by making spectacular headshots on unwary opponents. Later you transport to a titan to either attack or defend in a close combat situation by dropping c4 charges in strategic locations to await foes who are poster children for Darwinism. You shouldn’t run into a corridor without checking for bombs or anti personnel mines in a combat situation. The permutations are numerous. Multiply the last experience by number of classes (4) by number of map types (4) and the number of game roles you can play (3), and whether or not you are on offense or defense (2). By our horribly simple math, that is 96 different types of game experiences within BF 2142.

You won’t be bored with your choices, and you will not have many complaints with this game aspect.

Vehicles

Well thought out and appropriately empowered. Tanks are powerful, but slow. ATVs are quick, but weaponless. Helicopters are moderately fast, and moderately powerful. Vehicle weaknesses are perfectly proportioned to their strengths. Flank your opponents with an ATV, but be prepared to fight with only what you can carry, and never while driving. Bludgeon your way through a front line with a ...

Episode 6 - We explored the world of Champions Online, a decent Massively Multiplayer Online Game (MMO) with an excellent character build and design system that fails at only one thing: the game play. Disappointed as we may be, we give this a sucks rating. Do not buy it.