Ecommerce hosting confusion UK Prank Calls

Confusion arises as I vaguely state I want an e-commerce solution
I have 2 million users but 5 customers.
I need big power (at least 5 power)
I need to know if Positive Internet are actually good.
It is serious business but the salesman gets very confused.
This prank will particularly appeal to those in the web hosting industry who may well recognise these kinds of vague requirements.