18 episodes

Do you long for deeper friendships? Are you surprised by how hard it is to find real, true friends as an adult? Did you ever think maintaining friendships would be such a struggle? In this space we will give practical solutions to help you cultivate deeper friendships, live with more joy and connect over what really matters. After listening to each episode you will walk away with intentional habits you can use in everyday life to grow your friendships.

Connecting in the Chaos Heather Oncken

    • Religion & Spirituality
    • 5.0 • 26 Ratings

Do you long for deeper friendships? Are you surprised by how hard it is to find real, true friends as an adult? Did you ever think maintaining friendships would be such a struggle? In this space we will give practical solutions to help you cultivate deeper friendships, live with more joy and connect over what really matters. After listening to each episode you will walk away with intentional habits you can use in everyday life to grow your friendships.

    Friendship Bucket List

    Friendship Bucket List

    This episode is all about how to create a Friendship Bucket List and why they are important to create.  I also talk about how we can take the great ideas we have for our friendships and make them a reality.  I know that so many of us have great ideas and plans we would love to make happen with our friends, but sadly, if you are anything like me, I struggle with putting all of my great ideas into action.
     
    I give you some ideas of what a Friendship Bucket List could look like and then some steps to make them happen.  A Friendship Bucket List or Friendship Goals, whatever you may want to call it, gives us things to look forward to and also helps us to prioritize our friendships.  Life is crazy busy and unless we take the time to slow down and be intentional with checking the items off of our bucket list, many great ideas and plans will never become a reality.  I hope that this episode inspires you to make your own Friendship Bucket List and start planning out what things you are going to make a priority this year.  Let's have some fun! 

    CONNECT WITH ME:
    Facebook:  Connecting in the Chaos
    Instagram :  @heather.oncken
    Email : heather@connectinginthechaos.com
    Click here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.
    Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

    • 17 min
    Why Being Left Out Hurts

    Why Being Left Out Hurts

    On this episode, I am joined with my friend, Brandy Traylor, and we are talking about being left out.  No matter how old we are, or how many times we have been left out by our friends over the course of our life, it hurts.  When we are left out, for most of us, it triggers those insecurities that scream at us telling us that we are not "insert your own insecurity here" enough to be included.  Each of us wants to know that we are loved, valued, and important, and when we are left out, sometimes we interpret that as we are not loved, valued or important.  Brandy and I talk about what it has looked like for both of us to be left out at various times with our friendships.  We also discuss the difference between being intentionally left out and being unintentionally left out and how to identify the difference in each situation.  We talk about how we can shift out focus off of feeling that our worth is found in people, and shift it to knowing that, with Christ, we are enough.  People are going to let us down and hurt us.  That is part of living in a sinful world.  When we learn to stop letting other people's actions define our worth, that is when we find true freedom.

    CONNECT WITH ME:
    Facebook:  Connecting in the Chaos
    Instagram :  @heather.oncken
    Email : heather@connectinginthechaos.com
    Click here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.
    Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

    • 38 min
    Supporting Our Pregnant Friends

    Supporting Our Pregnant Friends

    At some point in our life we will have a friend who is pregnant.  This is a practical episode packed with do's and don'ts to support the pregnant friend in your life.
     
    CONNECT WITH ME:
    Facebook:  Connecting in the Chaos
    Instagram :  @heather.oncken
    Email : heather@connectinginthechaos.com
    Click here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.
    Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

    • 24 min
    The Power of Being Intentional || Abby Emert

    The Power of Being Intentional || Abby Emert

    If I were to ask you, "Do you want to change the world?"  I think your response would be "YES!!"  We all want to make an impact and make a difference.  What if I told you that we all have the ability to make difference in someone's day?  Each of us has the power to make a difference in someone's life by simply being intentional.
     
    In this episode, I have my good friend Abby Emert joining me.  This amazing woman as taught me all about the importance and power of being intentional.  When we talked, Abby shared about when she was growing up and how she learned to be intentional.   She learned by watching her mom being intentional in her friendships.  She watched her mom always take the extra step with making friends feel loved and important.  When Abby saw the fruit that came from her mom's actions of being intentional, she knew that it was something that she wanted to carry on with her friendships as she grew up.

    Abby talks about how even though she is a busy mom and wife, she makes time to be intentional.  Sometimes, we overthink and overcomplicate how easy it can be to be intentional.  It can be as simple as dropping off a little gift or treat for a friend, but can also be just  sending a text to let a friend know she is loved and you are praying for her.
    We wrap up the episode with Abby giving us some simple ways we can start to be intentional in our friendships today.  Not everyone is wired this way, but when we start small with trying to build intentionality into our daily routine, each of us can begin to build stronger, more meaningful friendships.

    SHOWNOTES: The Power of Being Intentional

    CONNECT WITH ME:
    Facebook:  Connecting in the Chaos
    Instagram :  @heather.oncken
    Email : heather@connectinginthechaos.com
    Click here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.
    Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

    • 28 min
    Navigating a Friendship Breakup || Bailey T. Hurley

    Navigating a Friendship Breakup || Bailey T. Hurley

    Today, I have my friend Bailey T. Hurley with me and we are talking all about friendship breakups.  Bailey is a Friendship Coach and I knew she was the perfect person to have this conversation with.  I know it doesn't sound like a fun topic, but the truth is we have all walked through a friendship breakup at some point in our lives.  Bailey shares her expertise on how to navigate through a breakup and come out healthier on the other side.  She talks about how important it is that, even if we choose to not continue a friendship with the person, we still reconcile with the person.  It important when a friendship is coming to an end to have the opportunity to talk it out together, have the chance to apologize, and to hear the other person's side of the story.  It may seem easier to just walk away from the friendship without having the chance to talk it out or get closure, but Bailey stresses that making the effort to have the conversation with that person to talk it through will help to make things less awkward in the future when you run into your old friend at the grocery store.

    Bailey also encourages us that just because a friendship has ended does not mean that there is something wrong with us.  Most friendships don't last forever, and as our seasons of life change, so do our friendships.  After walking through a friendship breakup, allow yourself to grieve the loss of that friend and talk it through with a trusted friend and/or counselor/therapist.  Just because one friendship has ended in a breakup doesn't mean that all of your friendships are destined for failure.

    A little more about my friend Bailey T. Hurley:

    Bailey T. Hurley is everyone’s favorite community cheerleader.  Bailey takes simple, creative ideas and turns them into easy rhythms for women to confidently pursue their people, despite their busy schedules. She has written on the topic of friendship for publications like: She Reads Truth, Deeply Rooted, and Grit and Virtue. Bailey holds an MA in Leadership from Denver Seminary.  She leads a community group with her family, serving twenty men and women every week in their home.  She also hosts her own friendship workshops for the ultimate friend date experience.  She currently lives in Denver, CO with her husband, Tim, and kiddos: Hunter and Liv.  Click Here for more information on Bailey's Friendship Coaching Sessions. 

    CONNECT WITH BAILEY:
    Instagram: @bailey.t.hurley

    CONNECT WITH ME:
    Facebook:  Connecting in the Chaos
    Instagram :  @heather.oncken
    Email : heather@connectinginthechaos.com
    Click here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.
    Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.
    SHOWNOTES: Friendship Breakups

    • 37 min
    Supporting a Grieving Friend || Ashley Opliger

    Supporting a Grieving Friend || Ashley Opliger

    Today, I have Ashley with me and we are talking about how we can do a better job being there for a friend who is grieving the loss of a baby.  Ashley's daughter, Bridget, was stillborn at twenty-four weeks gestation and Ashley knows first-hand what it is like to walk through the grief of losing a baby.  She shares with us how important friendship is when someone is walking through grief.  When you go through something that is so incredibly traumatic and forced to deal with such a great loss, you really find out who your true friends are.  You find out who is willing to walk with you through the valley and who is willing to sit with you in your grief.
     
    Ashley gives us practical ways we can show up for our friends who are grieving their baby.  She shares with us things that may be helpful to say to a grieving friend and things not to say.  Most of us can get uncomfortable when we have a friend who has experienced this kind of loss because we don't know what to say, or what to do.  Ashley reminds us that the worst thing we can do for a friend walking this road of grief is to not show up or be there for them.  Backing away from our friend during this intensely emotional time because of our discomfort is one of the worst things we can do for our friend.  This interview will help you better learn how to show up and love on that friend who is grieving the loss of their baby.

    Ashley Opliger is the President and Executive Director of Bridget’s Cradles a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Wichita, Kansas.  Bridget’s Cradles donates cradles to over 1,050 hospitals in all 50 states and comforts over 26,000 bereaved families each year.

    Ashley is married to Matt and they have three children: Bridget (in Heaven), and two sons, Branton and Brenner.   She is a fully-devoted follower of Christ who desires to share the hope of Christ and Heaven with families grieving the loss of a baby.

    SHOWNOTES: Supporting a Grieving Friend

    CONNECT WITH ASHLEY:
    @ashleyopliger
    @bridgetscradles

    CONNECT WITH ME:
    Facebook:  Connecting in the Chaos
    Instagram :  @heather.oncken
    Email : heather@connectinginthechaos.com
    Click here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.
    Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

    • 43 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
26 Ratings

26 Ratings

MJOnsa ,

Inspiration for your friendships!

When life gets busy I think we forget the value of our friendships, but Heather's podcast is such a great reminder that friendships really do matter, that we can learn how to be a good friend, and we need to figure out how to prioritize those relationships even when life is busy. There's so much encouragement and hope here. I love the topics she's willing to cover and the heart she has for nurturing important relationships. Thank you Heather and Connecting in the Chaos!!

Megan.fish ,

The best!

This podcast is forsure one of my favorites! Every one of Heather’s tips and stories on friendship have resonated with me. My friendships have grown from putting these tips to use in my life. She has guests that make each podcast a little different and I look forward to every Tuesday to see what she is going to talk about next!

miaannalise875 ,

inspirational

this podcast is awesome! it gives me so much motivation to reach out to the people i love and to be a better person! it’s one of the highlights of my week listening to it! you must listen you won’t regret it!

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