Pivot with Jenny Blake Jenny Blake

What would you do if you had more confidence? Today’s guest, Kelli Thompson, polled over 500 people with this question and received answers that were equal parts inspiring and heartbreaking.
In this conversation, Kelli shares the story of walking down the aisle at her first wedding when her intuition was whispering that the relationship wasn’t right, but she didn’t yet have the confidence to listen.
We discuss strategies for listening to that still, small voice within; how to stop “box-checking” for external validation; the flip side of the imposter monster: pedestal syndrome; and working through the “poop soup” of liminal space between major changes. As Kelli says, “You can’t criticize yourself into more confidence.”
More About Kelli: Kelli Thompson is a women’s leadership coach and speaker who helps women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She has coached and trained hundreds of women to trust themselves, lead with more confidence, and create a career they love. She is the founder of the Clarity & Confidence Women's Leadership Program and a Stevie Award winner for Women in Business—Coach of the Year. She is the author of Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck, which was selected as a must-read by The Next Big Idea Club.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways:

Your intuition is going to tell you things your brain doesn’t want to hear, but it isn’t always loud. Those little nudges and questions are trying to get your attention and are worth spending time with.

We often default to checking the boxes of what we, or our communities, think it means to be successful. Ask yourself: “Do I even want this? Does it feel good? Does this give me energy?”

New job smell wears off. The problems we bring with us into new environments are going to come up again and again unless we deal with the internal issues—boundaries, communication, confidence—that cause them in the first place.


Try This Next: Write down 3-5 things in your life that you no longer want. Where do you feel resentment? What is out of alignment? Choose one to have a conversation about or draw a boundary around as a next step.

📘Books:

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business

Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck


Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live by Martha Beck


Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff


🔗Resources:

Kelli on the web, Instagram: @kelliraethompson, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook


People: Martha Beck, Kristin Neff, Marissa Knox


Article: Growing Wings: The Power of Change by Martha Beck


Book Club: The Next Big Idea Club


The Life Coach School Episode 9: It Doesn’t Get Better Than This


🎧Related Podcast Episodes

52: Martha Beck on Enlightenment and Messages our Bodies Send

282: The Honor Roll Hangover with Melody Wilding

251: Listener Q&A on (Furry) Imposter Monsters

281: Feeling Impostery? Become a Qualified Curator Instead of an End-All-Be-All Expert

313: What’s the pebble in your shoe? Pivoting from Wall Street to RadReads with Khe Hy

124: Penney & Jenny Show — Embracing Liminal Space (the In-Between)

164: Fix This Next (And Stop Keeping Up With The Entrepre-Joneses) with Mike Michalowicz


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Joy and frustration can be equally motivating. Sometimes joy pulls our focus like a magnet to where it needs to be. On the other hand, sometimes being grumpy and frustrated is a sign we need to pivot in another direction. They both help us understand what roles or activities, or ideas we need to say no to to make sure we have enough space for what we want to say yes to. 
Today, I’m joined by recurring guest host Adrian Klaphaak, who is just returning from a two-month parental leave after welcoming his second child into the world. We’re talking about preparing for, and returning from, time off; the challenges of parenting while running a business; and working toward sustainable joy and focus amidst it all.
Are you working on a Pivot-in-progress? For guidance on reconnecting with what lights you up and creating an action plan to move forward, check out Adrian’s flagship Career Pathfinder Program and apply promo code PIVOT at checkout.
More about Adrian: Adrian Klaphaak is a coach, purpose guide, entrepreneur, therapist, and founder of A Path That Fits Career and Life Coaching. His coaching approach is holistic—a constant balance between getting results and a quest for meaning and fulfillment. He describes himself as “a deep seeker with a constant itch to make things happen.”

🌟 3 Key Takeaways:

If you’re feeling dread upon returning to work after a break (or even just the weekend), ask: What am I resisting coming back to? See the resistance as a message from a wiser part of yourself telling you something might be off.

Surrender to the reality of your life, and remember that you’ve chosen it, even amongst the challenges. Life is long, if we’re lucky, and no situation lasts forever.

Sometimes you have to say no and clear space first, before clarity on next steps emerges. Be patient: the biggest dreams take time.


✅ Try This Next: What do you want to say no—or not now—to right now?

📘Books: 

Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

Life After College


The Dirty Life: A Memoir of Farming, Food, and Love by Kristin Kimball


Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown


Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang


The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by the Dalai Lama


🔗Resources:

Adrian on the web, Yelp, Facebook, LinkedIn


Course: Career Pathfinder (promo code PIVOT)

Articles: Startup Parent Substack, Parable of the Trapeze


Video: Finding Your Calling by a Path that Fits


Podcast: Startup Parent Podcast



🎧Related Podcast Episodes:


Pivot x Career Pathfinder Playlist (previous episodes with Adrian)

204: Radical Alignment: Getting to Hell Yes with Alex & Bob

Free Time 166: Crashing into Quiet Time 🏝️

320: The Beauty of Late Bloomers with Jenna Valovic


❤️ Enjoying the show? I'd be grateful for a rating and/or review! Even better? Share this episode with a friend :)
💌 Get my curated weekly(ish) PivotList newsletter
💻 Check out Jenny’s Pivot courses on LinkedIn Learning: Figuring Out Your Next Move, Holding 1:1 Career Conversations With Your Team, Managing Introverts, Coaching New Hires, and Coaching New Managers
💬 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! Take the Pivot listener survey
☎️ Submit a question or comment for future episodes
🎧 Make sure you’re subscribed wherever you listen to 'casts
📝 Check out full show notes from this episode with links to resources mentioned at http://pivotmethod.com/314
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Is change whispering to you? For Khe Hy, a former investment banker on the fast track of keeping up with the corporate Joneses, the discomfort from following the status quo first started feeling like a pebble in his shoe. “Psst! There’s more out there for you,” it whispered. 
In this conversation, we talk about his decision to leave Black Rock, how he follows his instincts when building his new content and education business, and how sneaky “shoulds” and insecurity often stem from unmet needs we had growing up.
Be sure also to check out Khe’s episodes on Free Time: 163: Leveraging Idea Kernels to Create Compelling Content with Khe Hy, and 129: The $10K Work Framework with Khe Hy.
More About Khe: Khe Hy is the founder and CEO of RadReads, an online education company that helps professionals lead productive, examined, and joyful lives. Khe is creator of the $10K Work productivity method and teaches the popular cohort-based course Supercharge Your Productivity. RadReads provides guides, trainings, and coaching for over 36,000 professionals to help them gain back free time, scale their impact and make their little dent in the universe.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways:


Make an angel investment in yourself: Designate (and save) an amount of money you can afford to lose that would give you enough time to pursue your ideas and experiment to see what sticks. 


The 5 Whys Concept can help you identify the real feelings and motivations for your decisions. Ask yourself why you did something. Then ask why the answer is important to you. Then why that answer is important to you. After 5 “whys” you will almost always be at the root of what you want or feel.


Manage your energy instead of your time. Email, for example, can usually be done when feeling low-energy rather than using your best and highest energy on it. Techniques like RIZE (Reach Inbox Zero Everywhere) can help you do it quickly, efficiently, and in appropriate amounts. 


✅ Try This Next: Twice a week, take a piece of paper and a pen, go somewhere quiet, and reflect on a question about your life or business. Ask yourself, "What is the pebble in my shoe?” or, “If everything went great, what would my life look like in ten years?” This is less about having precise answers and more about creating the space for reflection.

📘Books: 

Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business


Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One, Life After College



The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Mate


🔗Resources:

Khe on the web, Twitter, LinkedIn


Courses: Supercharge Your Productivity, Life Operating System, $10K Work Accelerator


Free Time Operations Dashboard


Video: Sheng Wang on Coscto Pants 

Articles: The Magic of Doing $10,000 Per Hour Work, How to be the Chief Unblocking Officer (Article), CNN: Meet Khe He, the Oprah for Millennials



🎧Related Podcast Episodes:

282: The Honor Roll Hangover with Melody Wilding

296: Top 3 Do’s and Dont’s When Leaving a Corporate Job

272: Love It or Leave It with Samantha Clarke

Khe on Free Time 163: Leveraging Idea Kernels to Create Compelling Content with Khe Hy and 129: The $10K Work Framework with Khe Hy



❤️ Enjoying the show? I'd be grateful for a rating and/or review! Even better? Share this episode with a friend :)
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💻 Check out Jenny’s Pivot courses on LinkedIn Learning: Figuring Out Your Next Move, Holding 1:1 Career Conversations With Your Team, Managing Introverts, Coaching New Hires, and Coaching New Managers
💬 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! Take the Pivot listener survey
☎️ Submit a question or comment for future episodes
🎧 Make sure you’re subscribed wherever you listen to 'casts
📝 Check out full show notes from this episode with links to resources mentioned at http://pivotmethod.com/313
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As the saying goes, “Worrying is praying for what you don’t want.” A close cousin is future-tripping: projecting and living in the future instead of being present with what is actually happening, keeping an open mind about whatever might happen next. 

If you are inclined to catastrophize, you’re not alone! But getting caught in a fictional movie can mean missing out on important opportunities, ideas, and relationships. Today, I’m talking about why we do this, how future-tripping manifests, and strategies for shifting into what I call present-calming instead.

🌟 15 Strategies for Shifting from Future-Tripping to Present-Calming:


Notice when you’re in a movie where you’re projecting events and possibilities rather than being present to the actual facts at hand. 

Be compassionate with your fearful side, as being hard on yourself doesn’t help.

Take a page from The Work with Byron Katie by asking, “Is that true? Can I absolutely know that it’s true?”

Pause and reflect: What are the facts versus what am I assuming?

Reframe what you are experiencing as an open-ended, creative question.

Trust yourself to be creative and resourceful at every next step as it arises.

Intuition happens in the moment, so ground yourself in the present.

Be grateful for the abundance that the problem you are facing represents.

Create and hold a positive vision of what is possible if all goes as well as it possibly can (instead of worst-case catastrophizing).

Listen to relaxing podcasts or meditations if you have trouble sleeping due to anxious thoughts. 

Take a small step or positive action toward a solution.

Limit your exposure to negative news. Or all news, for that matter!

Get your endorphins flowing with 20-minutes of cardio or yoga

Talk to an energizing friend or family member to get an outside perspective

Surrender. Ask for clarity on what action to take (or not) and for grace and patience in the meantime.


✅ Try this next: Notice when you’re caught in a movie of the future, generating anxiety from a problem or situation causing you stress. Ask to be shown one next step, and stay attuned to clues or hits of inspiration or intuition in your environment.
Do you have any strategies for present-calming? Send me a note at hello@itspivotmethod.com or leave me a voice memo at pivotmethod.com/ask.

📘Books: 

Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

Life After College


Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie


Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall Rosenberg


🔗Resources:

Byron Katie: TheWork.com and Judge Your Neighbor worksheet


TV Series: Harlem via Amazon Prime (clip pulled from S2 E4)

JB’s Ideal Day Madlib


Sleep Foundations: The Best Podcasts for Sleep 

Jordan Harbinger: 6-Minute Networking Course



🎧Related Podcast Episodes:


[Best Of] Penney & Jenny 1: Intuition and Frequency (listen to the full Spotify playlist of the Penney & Jenny Show)

282: The Honor Roll Hangover with Melody Wilding

260: Everyday Rituals and the 'Sparkling of the Sacred' with Casper ter Kuile

69: Worrier's Guide to the End of the World with Torre DeRoche

Free Time 138: ⛵️ Stop Sailing the Sea of Shiny Shoulds



❤️ Enjoying the show? I'd be grateful for a rating and/or review! Even better? Share this episode with a friend :)
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💻 Check out Jenny’s Pivot courses on LinkedIn Learning: Figuring Out Your Next Move, Holding 1:1 Career Conversations With Your Team, Managing Introverts, Coaching New Hires, and Coaching New Managers
💬 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! Take the Pivot listener survey
☎️ Submit a question or comment for future episodes
🎧 Make sure you’re subscribed wherever you listen to ‘casts
📝 Check out full show notes from this episode

It’s time to leave guilt spirals, perfectionism, and hedging behind. Today’s guest, Lia Garvin, is sharing her favorite tools for reframing frustrating situations through powerful questions and helpful feedback.
More About Lia: Lia Garvin is the bestselling author of UNSTUCK: Reframe Your Thinking to Free Yourself From the Patterns and People that Hold You Back, leaning into nearly ten years of experience working in some of the most influential companies in tech, including Microsoft, Apple, and Google to explore the power of reframing to overcome common challenges found in the modern workplace. In her popular TEDx talk, “Your decisions aren't wrong, your inner critic is“, Lia shares the secret to reframing the stress we feel around making decisions. As the Founder & CEO of The Workplace Reframe organizational strategy firm, speaker, and coach, Lia is on a mission to humanize the workplace, one conversation at a time.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways:

If you find yourself stuck in the “nosebleed section” of a problem, especially if it’s a situation you don’t have direct control over, consider: What can this vantage point offer me? What can I learn from it? What might I consider for next time?

A decision is a best guess: Separate the drivers from the outcomes of your next move.

Unhook your self-worth from your work, and reframe your relationship to feedback: This project doesn’t have to be everything or for everyone; it doesn’t have anything to do with who you are as a person. If the feedback hits a nerve, collect more data.


✅ Try This Next: The next time you’re feeling stuck, try reframing your questions from “why?” to “what?” Write down all of the questions you are asking yourself, and re-construct them. So, “Why didn’t they pick me?” becomes: “What else might be going on in the situation that I’m not aware of?” and “Why does this always happen to me?” becomes “What else might be possible?”

📘Books: 


Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business 

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

Life After College

UNSTUCK: Reframe Your Thinking to Free Yourself From the Patterns and People that Hold You Back


🔗Resources:

Lia on the web, IG: @lia.garvin, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube


Bonuses: Do's and Don'ts for Talking About Your Work with Confidence, 5Tips to Unlock the Best in Your Teams


Article: Psychology Today’s Maximizers vs. Satisficers: Who Makes Better Decisions?


TEDx: Your decisions aren't wrong, your inner critic is


Masterclass: Chris Voss’ Win Workplace Negotiations, The Art of Negotiation



🎧Related Podcast Episodes:

289: Stealing Wi-Fi as Career Strategy with Jenny Wood

283: What Are You Here to Do? How to Find a Path That Fits with Adrian Klaphaak

182: Collective Problem-Solving + Negotiating Fearlessly with Mori Taheripour

26: Tame The Advice Monster With Michael Bungay Stanier


❤️ Enjoying the show? I'd be grateful for a rating and/or review! Even better? Share this episode with a friend :)
💌 Get my curated weekly(ish) PivotList newsletter
💻 Check out Jenny’s Pivot courses on LinkedIn Learning: Figuring Out Your Next Move, Holding 1:1 Career Conversations With Your Team, Managing Introverts, Coaching New Hires, and Coaching New Managers
💬 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! Take the Pivot listener survey
☎️ Submit a question or comment for future episodes
🎧 Make sure you’re subscribed wherever you listen to ‘casts
📝 Check out full show notes from this episode with links to resources mentioned at http://pivotmethod.com/311
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m complete. Have you ever landed on that sense of satisfaction, perhaps after a peak experience when you’ve given everything you could? Often what quickly follows: Now, what’s next? 

My guest this week — the very first partner coach I brought on to help in my business — pivoted out of academia after an accomplished trajectory into running her own coaching practice. Several years ago, she was featured in Shana Gaynor’s wonderful Business Insider article, I went to a career coach, so you don't have to—and it was a rude awakening, that has been bringing clients our way ever since!

In this conversation, we discuss creating the impact you want to have in the world, crafting jobs and roles to fit your strengths, and how to navigate the nerves of striking out on your own.

More About Rebecca: Rebecca Fraser-Thill is a Pivot Career Coach, the Senior Contributor at Forbes on meaningful work, and the owner of Fraser-Thill Coaching & Consulting, based near Portland, Maine. Rebecca taught psychology at Bates College for 18 years, where she led the design of their Purposeful Work program. She holds a Master’s degree in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University. You can find her at www.RebeccaFT.com

🌟 3 Key Takeaways:


Are you a coaching skeptic? The feedback, insight, and accountability can be transformative in ways you don’t expect.


Job crafting: Take every step you can to make the most of a current opportunity before making bigger moves, to know you gave it everything you had and gain clarity on when it will be time to go.


Look for hidden strengths that come so naturally to you that you barely recognize them for the advantages they are. We often downplay our own abilities, so ask for feedback from coaches (and friends and colleagues!).


✅ Next Action: Find a list of work-related or adjacent values online (or generate your own) and write them on index cards or slips of paper. Next, physically put them in order of what is most important to you. Return and reorder them over a week until you have no more changes. This list of values will help you make decisions and rules about your work—if something doesn’t align, it becomes much easier to say no to. 

📘Books:


Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business 

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

Life After College


Don't Call It Quits: Turn the Job You Have into the Job You Love by Shana Lebowitz Gaynor


Agile: Essentials of Team and Project Management. Manifesto for Agile Software Development by Alex Campbell


🔗Resources:

Rebecca on the web, Twitter, LinkedIn


Learn more and schedule a Pivot Coaching intro call with Rebecca


Business Insider: I went to a career coach so you don't have to—and it was a rude awakening


Therapy Apps: Better Help, Talkspace


Career Values Lists: Mindtool, James Clear


The Tim Ferriss Show: What Is Important to You



🎧Related Podcast Episodes:

308: Pivoting in Place with Adrian Klaphaak

303: What is Your Soul Path for 2023? Follow What’s Most Alive — With Adrian Klaphaak

299: Juggling Risk and Pursuing Passion while Pivoting in a Recession with Adrian Klaphaak


❤️ Enjoying the show? I'd be grateful for a rating and/or review! Even better? Share this episode with a friend :)
💌 Get my curated weekly(ish) PivotList newsletter
💻 Check out Jenny’s Pivot courses on LinkedIn Learning: Figuring Out Your Next Move, Holding 1:1 Career Conversations With Your Team, Managing Introverts, Coaching New Hires, and Coaching New Managers
💬 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! Take the Pivot listener survey
☎️ Submit a question or comment for future episodes
🎧 Make sure you’re subscribed wherever you listen to ‘casts
📝 Check out full show notes from this episode with links to resources mentioned at http://pivotmethod.com/310
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices