Formerly HideYourShame.com, Solphia is a continuation of mental health exploration through creative stories, poetry and reactions to current events.
The Blue Bird of Happiness
Raana’u doesn’t know. She doesn’t know that her cage is made of gold. In the mornings, she collects the berries that fall to the bottom. And then, parched from the sweetness and bitterness, she drinks from the little dish where the water drops, filling the void to let her live another day.
Raana’u doesn’t know what it’s like to be alone. They arrive after breakfast. They float or crawl or glide to her cage. A snake named An sticks his tongue between the bars, to see if she is there. She is.
“What do you have left?” he asks.
Raana’u offers him berries and today, like every day, he snorts at the idea of a fantastic beast such as himself eating such a thing with little character.
“But An,” she protests, “I have it figured out. This thing, this red bulbous thing contains the waters of life. A nucleus of the ingredients that burst inside you.”
But An isn’t convinced. He is bored, actually, and longs to move on from this tragic conversation. Ah, but the little bird is a good bird. The sad situation of her existence is the only reason he hasn’t sampled her. But maybe one day. Maybe one day the little red bird and the snake will become one.
An leaves, lacking a proper goodbye. And for a moment, the sun hides behind a cluster of trees. It’s at this same time every day that the forest stills in anticipation. This is the only time Raana’u is alone. But here it comes, that moment when the sun peeks beyond the cluster and hits her directly, the beam tentacles caressing the bars. And for a moment, the light springs back to the world. The little red bird is now the sun. Raana’u stills in her cage and sings a song that was before her time. And the other animals come from the trees, from the dirt and the sky to enjoy the song of Raana’u.
“There you are!”
Raana’u is startled. She looks for the owner of the voice that wakes her from her meditation. On a branch just above the cage, another creature such as herself is perched. But he’s not exactly like her. His glossy feathers are blue and cover a husky body. His eyes are black and have a hint of mischief. But not like An. More like the drops of water in Spring.
“You startled me.”
He flies down, closer to her. “I’ve been looking for you.”
She feels exposed as she peers through the bars at this creature.
“What is that?” she asks.
And he knows exactly what she means. “I know. I feel it too. I was listening to your call. It’s for me, you know.”
She sighs. “I suppose it is.”
He flies down and lands on a branch close to her. “My name…”
“I know your name,” she says.
He looks at her with such sadness. “Why are you in there? Why don’t you come out.”
She doesn’t understand the question. The silence sends him away. And she is left wondering if she dreamed him up. The evening arrives and her eyelids clamp shut.
The morning drums and coaxes the sun to come out. One more time. Raana’u must live another day. The leaves gather the mist. The forest stirs with the vibrations of wings and birth and caution and hunger. They dance in harmony. They dance in violence. They dance to death.
Solphia Podcast: Eps. 4 - Dear Father and other bits of wisdom
My father, Sergio, died in 2015 but not before leaving his wisdom for us, via an interview my brother-in-law did back in the early 2000s. But my sister found a clip of that interview, and the message I heard was a gift from the other side.
He said, 'no one is worth my hate. They are worth my love.'
This got me thinking about these past 18 months, how the world has radically changed, and how people are taking this opportunity to grow. Is 'let's just get back to normal' good enough? This is what I question in this podcast.
Del Rio Bravo by Kevin MacLeod
Anamalie by Kevin MacLeod
Solphia Podcast: Eps. 3 – ‘DMT & My Occult Mind’ author Dick Khan
Dimethyltryptamine, also known as DMT, is a fascinating mystery. A chemical substance that has been known to make one see the universe, some even say, God. It is found in various plants and animals, including humans. Indigenous tribes around the world, use these plant medicines in ceremony, including Matses in Peru, with the brew called ayahuasca.
In this episode, I interview author Dick Khan, and we talk about his experience with DMT, which is also the subject of his book, DMT & My Occult Mind. He documented his personal research with DMT, spending a year investigating by using himself as the test subject.
Please enjoy this interview with Graham Hancock’s author of the month, Dick Khan.
Solphia Podcast: Eps. 2, part 2 – Ethan Gutmann
On the 18th July 2017, there was a round-table discussion at Westminster Abbey, London, England. The topic was organ harvesting in China.
The crimes against humanity that were described at this forum, were almost impossible to believe, as I myself did not have the imagination before to think that this level of evil exits. As a journalist, my instinct is to be skeptical. And I invite you to listen and decide for yourself.
The world is changing. We live in modern times. Enslaved by technology. Floating away from what it is to be human.
I digress. Because I want you to listen and think and decide for yourself your own fate. I can only give you the information.
In this clip, you’ll hear the Nobel peace prize-nominated writer, Ethan Gutmann, who went to the People’s Republic of China to investigate organ harvesting. He thought maybe it was an exaggerated tale. But what he found was more horrifying.
Solphia Podcast: Eps. 2, part 1 – Organ Harvesting
Thank you for joining me again. This has been an incredibly difficult year and it seems like the vibrations of our planet have plummeted. I feel distressed really. Where I live we are going to go back into a lockdown for Christmas. And speaking with colleagues, friends and family, pretty much everyone I know is fatigued. This has taken a toll on our mental health. And the first step to having solid physical health is to have good mental health. Eastern medicine knows this. But the west has some catching up to do.
The purpose of Solphia is not to get political. I don’t subscribe to any political ideology. I don’t support any politicians or, so-called leaders. And the reason, I think is because I was trained as a journalist. My instinct at this point is to be skeptical. To distrust. Which is difficult to reconcile that with my new spiritual self. I don’t want to think that everyone out there is an evil blood-sucking entity. I don’t want to think that all the people at the top of the food chain want our demise.
That is why I debated about posting this audio that I found. But I feel that part of being a new spiritual person is to take the experiences that are given to you, little clues along the way, and share them because they are important and necessary. They are messages from the beyond. Part of the destiny that you actually chose before being born. I know for some of you listening to this, it sounds crazy. And it is if you haven’t seen the other side. I’ve seen the other side. I’ve communicated. And I want to talk about that in later episodes.
Going back to the audio that I found, I have to tell you about London.
In July of 2017, I went on holiday to Ireland and London with a friend. And while we were walking around Westminster Abby, we saw a group of Chinese people practicing Falun Gong meditation. Falun Gong is also a religion. We stopped by to ask what was going on, and a lovely woman explained to us that they were protesting.
The woman, and I’m sorry I don’t remember her name, she explained to us that they were protesting the organ harvesting and there was to be a talk about this issue. I told the woman that I was a journalist and asked her more questions. She then asked me if I wanted to participate, in which, of course, I said yes. She put me on the press list.
I am embarrassed to say that I never really heard of organ harvesting. I mean, I kind of knew what it was. You hear about organs being sold on the black market. But honestly, I never even thought of it. Let alone know that it is something that the Chinese government is heavily involved in, amongst other crimes against humanity.
Later that evening, I went back to Westminster and was given a badge and access to the spectacular building. I mean, yes it was surreal. Walking through and seeing the entrance and then walking up the steps. I wasn’t allowed in the parliament area. I had to ask several people where the room was. It was like being in a film or book. I finally found the room and it was a small group of people. There were a few MPs, one from Northern Ireland, in fact. There was a writer named Ethan Gutmann who went to China undercover as a tourist to investigate to see if these horrors were real. And they were. He wrote a book about it called The Slaughter.
There was also an older Chinese woman who was imprisoned for practicing Fǎlún Gōng. I mean, she did hard time. And, as you can imagine,
Solphia Podcast: Eps. 1 – Conversation with Terraell Hazlett
In this first episode, I have a free-flowing conversation with Terraell Hazlett, a friend with incredible knowledge. We talk about everything from tarot cards to how to keep the vibrations high during these troubled times. There is also some reading recommendations that you will find useful.